


Hello Stranger

by emobeamo



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M, Historical, Historical Inaccuracy, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-05-07 13:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 42,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5458061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emobeamo/pseuds/emobeamo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Philip and Theodosia sneakily falling in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so warning, I am absolutely horrible at spelling and grammar stuff, and even though I try to go through and edit, I usually miss about half the mistakes, so if that kind of thing ticks you off I'm sorry.
> 
> Also, this story is a weird mix of musical history and actual history, and then just no history and what I felt like doing cause it fit up to the story the best, so apologies if that also irritates you.
> 
> I'm also still trying to think of a title I really like, so just bare with me while I try to find one I like (I'm super open to suggestions, btw)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoy!

“Father?”

Aaron looked up from his papers, his eyes taking a second to land on his daughter. She stood in the doorway, hands clasped behind her back, hair falling down around her shoulders in tight ringlets. Her dress cascaded to the floor in silk teal ripples. She wore a wide smile, her teeth shining like pearls.

“Do I look alright?” She asked, nerves biting at her voice.

“My goodness,” Her father said, standing and starting to make his way around his desk. “You look absolutely magnificent.”

Theodosia bit her lip. “Truly?”

“Truly.”

“I was a bit worried about the curls. I don't want to look too childish...”

“On the contrary. I think you look just like the beautiful young woman you are.”

Theodosia smiled. “You're prone to flattery.”

“I like to think of that as a strength.”

Theodosia stepped fully into the room, sitting in one of the overstuffed arm chairs. 

“What time are you leaving?” Her father asked, taking his seat at his desk once again.

“An hour or so. I thought I'd eat a bit before leaving- Balls are lovely, but the dancing can make me feel a bit faint and the waiter's samples are so small.”

Her father smiled. “Are you excited for this one?”

“There's nothing much to be excited for.”

“Lots of boys will be coming home from school...”

Theodosia wrinkled her nose. “No thank you.”  
“Don't wrinkle your nose like that, it's not lady like.” But her father was smiling, so Theodosia smiled back.

“Do you have a lot of work to do?” Theodosia asked, her eyes scanning her father's papers. They were carefully organized as always, each set of documents placed in their own little pile, a quill and ink sitting to his side. 

“When don't I?” Her father paused, his eyes quickly scanning the paper in front of him. “No, I wouldn't say I have too much. Why?”

“I just might be out late, so I wouldn't be here to remind you to get your rest.”

“I'm perfectly capable of reminding myself to get my rest, Theodosia. I am a full grown man.”

“So I believe,” Theodosia said, standing. “I'd better head to the kitchen if I want Margaret to cook me something and leave enough time for eating it.”

Her father tapped the side of his forehead. “Good plan.”

Theodosia paused in the door, lightly running her hands over her skirt. “I'll see you in the morning.”

“Don't forget to smile at the ball- you only have one chance to make a good first impression.”

“I know father.”

“Goodnight, Theodosia.” She could hear the smile in her father's voice.

“Goodnight, Father.”

\- - - - -

Martha came to pick up Theodosia an hour and a half later. Theodosia had been waiting by the door, nervously watching as the second hand on their grandfather clock made their way around the circle again and again.

“What took you so long?” Theodosia asked as their driver closed the door behind her. “I was getting nervous you had forgotten about me all together.”

“I wouldn't forget you,” Martha insisted. She was wearing a pearly pink gown, with a corset so tight Theodosia wondered how she was breathing comfortably. “What kind of friend do you take me for? It simply took me a little longer than usual to get ready, that's all.”

Theodosia gave her friend and exasperated look. “What?” Martha asked, gesturing to the blonde curls piled on top of her head. “Hairdos like this take time!”

“I wouldn't be dealing with this if I you had simply let me take my own carriage,” Theodosia said, looking out the window as the sunset painted the sky scarlet. She was jolted slightly as the carriage started moving.

“You wouldn't have my company either.” Martha crossed her arms. “Honestly, half the fun of a ball is riding there together.”

“Don't do that, it's not lady like.”

“What?”

“Your arms.” Theodosia gestured to Martha's arms, crossed over her chest. “It makes you look like a child.”

“I am a child, Theodosia. I'm only 16.”

“You turn 17 next week.”

“And what a party we'll have!”

Theodosia rolled her eyes. “You're of a perfectly reasonable age for marriage, which makes you a lady. It would be nice if you acted like one.”

“Now you sound like your father.”

\- - - - - 

The ball was held at Mary Feathener's house, in honor of her parent's 20th anniversary. Neither Theodosia nor Martha knew Mary very well, but they knew most of the other people invited, so they saw no reason not to go.

“You might meet some very important people,” Theodosia's father had told her.

This hadn't been Theodosia's first thought, but she was trying to train herself to think more like her father. Besides, he was the senator of New York, so whatever he was doing, it was working.

“This house is lovely,” Martha said as they entered the giant front doors. “What was it that Mary's father does again?”

“Something in the government,” Theodosia said. “But I believe they have family money.”

Martha pouted. “Lucky little buggers. Of course everyone has family money now a days. Only people like me are forced to marry rich. I'd like to see them try to do such a thing.”

“Just twenty minutes ago you were speaking of how much you wish not to be married.”

“Exactly my point. It's a hard fate laid out for me, Theodosia.”

Theodosia laughed, putting on her best smile. Her father had first taught her how to smile when she was 6. The key was to smile as wide as possible while not squinting too much. Theodosia had been working on perfecting hers for years.

“Smile,” She hissed to Martha as they entered the ballroom.

“I am smiling,” Martha said, baring her teeth.

Theodosia stifled a sigh. “I'm going to go greet our hosts. Would you like to come with me?”

“I'll do it later.”

“Are you sure?”

“Just go butter up the family, Theodosia.”

Theodosia just smiled. “Remind me why I keep coming to events with you?”

“I'm your best friend?”

“Best friends get each other punch.”

Martha rolled her eyes. “Fine. Go greet your family, or whatever it is you're scheming in that mind of yours.”

\- - - - - 

Theodosia liked balls. They were exhilarating, yet calm, the dancing fun, the talk polite. She loved seeing the looks on peoples faces when she mentioned that her father was Aaron Burr, and was pretty decent at slipping in a brag or too here and there- another skill her father had been teaching her to perfect for as long as she could remember.

“Oh, yes, my latin skills are college level. Not that I'll ever have much of a need for it, of course, but it's a nice hobby.”

“I've been taking piano since I was 6! My mother used to teach me, along with Sir Erilly. Have you heard of him? Wonderful teacher, maybe the next time we find a piano I could play you a little something.”

“Oh, I went to France last year! Had a splendid time, really, I could have spent hours staring at the Eiffel Tower. A true beauty, isn't it? Oh, out of all of Europe, I really do think France is the best.”

These comments were always followed with light laughter and a sip of her drink. Then she, or who ever it was she was talking to, would spot someone over the other's shoulder and go talk to them after a quick good bye.

It was all a carefully timed dance, which Theodosia found much easier than the actual ballroom dancing. Conversation she understood. How to move her feet in a fluid circle tended to be a bit trickier.

But, even she got warn out after a good three hours of making conversation. She paused for a moment, turning towards the punch bowl. She let her smile fall, for just a minute, as she calculated the scores.

She had caught up with almost 20 people now, most childhood friends. Many had asked about her father, to which they got a good reply, and many seemed impressed with her current accomplishments. She had made 2 new acquaintances who's names she had jotted down in her memory to mention to her father later. Only 4 people had tried to talk about the weather. 

It was a good night, and she still had an hour left.

She watched the slightly pink liquid waterfall from the ladle into her cup (allowing herself to day dream for just a moment) when she realized there was someone standing on the other side of the table.

He cleared his throat.

She looked up at him. He was maybe 4 inches taller than her, with long thin limbs. He wore a slightly cocky smile, his hair tied back at the base of his neck- not that this helped to tame the wild main of thick curls. His face was littered with freckles, more than Theodosia thought she had ever seen on a single person before.

She drew up her smile. “Hello.”

He looked at her for another moment before saying, “Theodosia.”

She raised her eyebrows ever so slightly. “Yes. My apologies, do we know each other?”

“You don't recognize me.”

“I'm very sorry sir, I don't exactly have a way with fac-”

She stopped, a sudden jolt of realization bolting through her stomach. For half a second, her smile faltered. She was quick to pull it back up again.

“Philip Hamilton,” She said. “I should have recognized you, you look exactly like your father.”

Philip's cocky smile widened. “Thank you.”

She paused for a moment, biting her lip. “I am so sorry to hear about your father-”

His smile vanished. “Yes, I know. We don't need to bring it up.”

“Of course.” Theodosia bit her tongue, feeling incredibly stupid. Of course he didn't want to talk about his father's affair- he had probably heard more than his fair share about it over the past 6 months.

She couldn't help but remember how her own father had reacted when the pamphlet was published.

“Come look at this Theodosia!” He had yelled. “Goodness, Hamilton's dug his own grave!”

“I think it's rather sad,” Theodosia said, reading over one of the many copies of the pamphlet her father had brought home.

“Sad for him, perhaps. His career is as good as dead, thank the heavens!” He paused, looking to his daughter, holding up one of the papers. “Do you think I could get this framed?”

“I trust your father was happy to here of it,” Philip said, as if he could hear Theodosia's thoughts.

“Oh, I wouldn't say happy,” Theodosia lied.

“There's no need for that. Our father's don't like each other much, no need to walk around it.”

Theodosia nodded, not sure if she should start smiling again. “Are you on break from your studies?”

Philip nodded. “For the next week. Then it's back up to Albany.”

“Well, that's not too far. Some boys are visiting from across the ocean.”

“Perhaps.” Philip's cocky smile was back.

“Are you thinking of colleges?”

“Kings College.”

Theodosia raised her eyebrows. “You've already decided?”

“It's where my father went, so yes.”

Theodosia nodded. “Oh, of course. I would have thought you to be more of a Harvard boy, but I guess you would know better than me.”

Theodosia couldn't help but feel a rush of adrenaline as Philip arched an eyebrow. “You think me a Harvard boy?”

Theodosia swallowed, smiling as bright as always. “Yes.”

“What about me makes you think that?”

“Oh, well,” Theodosia shrugged. “Just the way you present yourself I suppose.”

“The way I present myself says nothing about who I am.”

“Actually,” Theodosia corrected. “It says everything.”

Philip's eyebrow inched higher, his mouth forming a slightly more genuine smile. “How do you know so much about colleges anyways?”

“I'm very interested in them,” Theodosia said, her eyes drifting slightly to a couple dancing behind Philip. She brought her attention back to him. “I find education very important.”

“You do?”

Theodosia nodded. “I always wanted to go to college myself. I'd go to Princeton if I was a boy.”

“Princeton?”

“My father's school. And one of the best.”

Philip scoffed. “So I'm sure.”

“It is.” Theodosia stood a little taller. The band finished their song, and she put down her glass briefly to clap.

“Would you like to dance?” Philip asked, nodding to the floor.

“Oh, I'm not much of a dancer.”

“Nonsense. Come, it will be fun.” Phil came around the table, grabbing Theodosia's hand. She felt her face grow hot as they made contact- his skin was smoother than she had expected- and for a moment she forgot to resist.

She quickly remembered.

“No,” She said, planting her feet into the ground.

“Oh, don't be a spoil sport, Theo.”

Theodosia's face grew redder as the name passed his lips. Her mouth fell open slightly in shock, and yet another moment was lost as she composed herself. Her feet stumbled forwards with him, and she struggled to regain her balance.

“I said no,” Theodosia repeated, her voice sharper. She yanked her arm away from him, causing both Philip and herself to stumble back towards the punch bowl. She looked around, suddenly aware that they were creating a scene. Her eyes met a few of those who had witnessed it.

“I'm afraid I'm horribly clumsy,” She said, smiling nervously. They raised their eyebrows at her, one making a slightly look of disgust before turning back to their conversation.

“Philip,” She hissed as he managed to regain himself. “Please, I really don't wish to create a scene. Not to mention, it would really give our father's the wrong impression if they heard-”

She stopped, realizing he wasn't protesting. Instead, he looked down at her with a small look of… sadness? Regret? Theodosia found herself unable to identify his emotions, but they quickly vanished from his face, replaced with a soft smile.

“Alright,” He said. “We don't have to dance.”

“We don't?”

“If you don't want to Theo, then no.”

His eyes were vivid, a clean mix of hazel and green, staring directly through Theodosia, like he was seeing inside her mind. She took in a sharp breath.

But, as quickly as the look came, it vanished, replaced with his earlier cocky smile again. “So, Theo, what do you study?”

Theodosia stiffened slightly at the name, but was glad to be able to put on her smile again and ease her way back into small talk. Talking to Philip turned out to be surprisingly easy. And it wasn't just back and forth- and “i did this thing,” “oh, I did this thing.”- it was a discussion. Philip asked questions. He waited for responses. He listened to her responses. 

Theodosia struggled to remember a time when a boy had paid so much attention to what she had to say.

And yes, some of his answers made her want to roll her eyes, and she felt a pang of annoyance whenever he would lose his train of thought, his eyes following a girl as she walked past, but he was acknowledging her. 

And it felt amazing.

And so two minutes of small talk turned into 40 minutes of conversation before Martha found Theodosia.

“Theodosia, there you are!” She said, coming up behind her. Theodosia jumped slightly at her friend's voice, but quickly regained herself, smoothing her hands over her skirt.

“I've been looking all over for you- My best guess was you got lost in all the dancing, but I guess I should have known better.” Martha stopped as her eyes landed on Philip. “Oh,” She said, a small smile playing at her lips. “Why, hello.”

Theodosia rolled her eyes. “You are insufferable, Martha.”

“Who's your friend?” Philip asked.

“Martha Seabury, meet Philip Hamilton. Philip Hamilton, Martha Seaburry.”

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Philip said, leaning into an over dramatic bow.

“Oh,” Martha said, her voice jumping up an octave. “The pleasure's all mine.”

“She came to tell me it was time for us to leave,” Theodosia said, attempting to lead her friend away.

“Oh, we can stay a little longer,” Martha said, smiling up at Philip.

“We really can't, my father's expecting us home soon.” Theodosia looked at Philip. “As is yours, I'd assume.”

“Eh, Pops doesn't mind too much what time I return.”

“See, Theodosia? We can stay a little longer.”

“Your father is expecting you home, Martha. Let's go.”

“Goodbye, my darling,” Philip called as Theodosia practically dragged Martha to the door.

“Goodbye, Sir Hamilton!” Martha called. 

Theodosia turned to glare at him. He just raised his eyebrows and shrugged, as if to say “what can I do? Ladies love me.”

“He was rather dashing,” Martha said as they exited through the giant doors.

“He isn't the nicest man you'll meet.”

“What makes you say that? You two seemed to be getting along quite well.”

“He has an arrogance to him. Like he thinks he's better than us.”

“What makes you say that?”

“You don't see it? It's practically radiating off of him.”

“The only thing radiating off of him is pure, unbridled handsomeness.”

Theodosia rolled her eyes. “You say that about any boy you lay eyes on, Martha.”

“But did you see him Theodosia? Goodness, if only we had time to dance, I would have spun him around the floor the entire night!”


	2. Chapter 2

Philip finally got home around midnight. His sister was in the kitchen, wearing a night gown with her hair held back in braids. A pot sat on the stove, the smell of garlic filling the room.

  


“Good evening,” Philip said, striding into the room.

  


Angelica turned from the stove.“Did you have a nice time?” She asked, raising her eyebrows.

  


“Wonderful time, actually.”

  


“So I'm sure.”

  


“Why are you acting so defensive?” Philip pushed himself up onto the counter. “Have I offended my poor little sister again?”

  


“You've done nothing. I'm just a bit irritable right now, is all.”

  


“Are you mad that you didn't get to go to the ball?”

  


Angelica rolled her eyes. “I could not care less about that.”

  


“Poor little Cinderella.”

  


Angelica glared at her brother, turning back to the stove.

  


“What are you making?”

  


“Soup. I would offer you some, but you seem more interested in nasty comments than food at the moment, so-”

  


“Oh, calm down, Angie.”

  


Angelica let out a breath of air. “Insufferable,” she muttered.

  


“Where's Pops?”

  


“Father's in his office. Mother's in the dining room- I think she's writing a letter.”

  


“I just finished,” Their mother said, entering the room. She was still dressed in her day clothes, wearing a dark blue dress, her hair pinned away from her face, the last lily of the season tucked behind one ear. She had been holding her head especially high the past few months, as if she was trying to prove that she was really alright. It made Philip feel a little strange seeing his mother holding herself in such way, when he was used to his Father taking up such a strong roll.

  


His father, in contrast, had turned into a bit of a mess. The spark just behind his eyes had dimmed, his smile looking more pained. He hadn't seen his parents in the same room with each other since the pamphlet, except for dinners of course, which were spent in brain-numbing silence.

  


“How was the ball?” His mother asked.

  


“Quite enjoyable.”

  


“Any _girls_ there?” Angelica asked.

  


Philip shrugged. “The usual. They were all falling to their knees as I walked past. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

  


Angelica rolled her eyes. Their mother smiled. “Have you been thinking of any marriage proposals?”

  


“Oh, Mother, you know how I dread marriage.”

  


“You're father wasn't much older than you when he proposed to me.” Her smile slowly started to fall, her face growing colder. She bit her bottom lip, setting her jaw.

  


Philip could tell it was time to change the subject. “I actually did see one interesting girl there.”

  


Their mother's smile returned. “Interesting?”

  


“Not for marriage, Mother.” Philip almost scoffed at the suggestion. “It was Theodosia.”

  


Angelica stopped stirring her soup. “Theodosia Burr?”

  


Philip nodded.

  


“My,” Their mother said. “When was the last time we saw her? 1790?”

  


“It was before her father became a senator,” Angelica said. “I didn't like her much. She's always smiling. It's a little unnerving.”

  


“She gets that from her father,” Their mother said, laughing slightly. “You wouldn't believe how much your father used to complain about it.”

  


“Was she nice?” Angelica asked.

  


“Yes, actually. Strangely interested in education.”

  


“Why is that strange?” Angelica asked.

  


“She's a girl. It's odd to find a girl so interested in college.”

  


Angelica shrugged. “Do you want some soup?”

  


“I thought you weren't giving me any.”

  


“I've realized that I have too much to eat myself. Mother, do you want some?”

  


“No thank you, darling, I try not to eat before bed.” Their mother paused. “Speaking of which, you two should be getting ready soon.”

  


“Yes, Mother,” Philip said.

  


“Goodnight children,” Their mother said, her dress spinning as she left the room.

  


“Goodnight,” Angelica called.

  


“Why is it so uncomfortable every time she brings up Pops?” Philip asked his sister.

  


“You know very well why, Philip.”

  


Philip sighed. “I guess so. I think I'll go check on him. He's in his office?”

  


Angelica nodded, pouring herself a bowl of soup. “I bet he's fallen asleep at his desk.”

  


“Wouldn't doubt it.”

  


\- - - - -

  


“Pops?” Philip called, knocking on the door to his father's study.

  


“Come in.”

  


Philip opened the door, peering into the room before entering. He always thought his father's study was one of the best rooms in the entire world. He felt almost overwhelming pride as a child when his mother would bring him in. It wasn't that he wasn't allowed in his father's study, just that it wasn't common that he went in. And seeing his father sitting at his desk made him look like the king of the world- through Philip's eyes, anyways.

  


“You're father needs to work right now, Philip,” His mother would tell him.

  


His father sat at his desk, a mess of papers spread around him. The walls were lined with bookshelves, filled with empty spaces when his father had pulled out books and forgotten to put them back. There were multiple bottles of ink sitting around the room, most of them almost empty, and too many quills for Philip to count.

  


His father finished writing his sentence before looking up at Philip from over his glasses. “Why, hello, Philip.”

  


“Hi, Pops.” He took the seat across from his father's desk, leaning against one of the arms. “What are you working on?”

  


“Letters. Always writing letters.” His father chuckled. “How was the party?”

  


“Good.”

  


“Any girls?”

  


“Why is that the first question both you _and_ Angelica ask?”

  


His father smiled. “No reason.”

  


“I actually ran into someone interesting.”

  


His father raised his eyebrows. “Oh really?”

  


“Theodosia Burr.”

  


His father was quiet for a moment before saying, “Oh really?”

  


“Yeah.”

  


“I hope she was doing well.”

  


Philip laughed. “You don't sound it.”

  


His father sighed. “Her father and I have a… complicated history. Not that I have anything against the girl.”

  


Philip raised and eyebrow.

  


“She may not be my favorite child. But I'm sure she's a fine young woman.”

  


“Uh huh,” Philip said, dubious.

  


His father sighed. “I don't like Aaron, and I from what I remember of his daughter I don't like her much either. And I don't want to pass down the grudge but… be cautious around her.”

  


“I will.”

  


His father nodded, before pushing his spectacles back up his nose and peering down at his papers- a clear indicator that the conversation was over before it had even really begun.

  


Philip swallowed his disappointment. “I'll head to bed,” He said, standing.

  


“Goodnight, Philip.”

  


“'Night, Pops.”

  


\- - - - -

  


“Where are you going?”

  


Philip paused in the doorway, turning to see James standing in the middle of the room. He was only ten, and looked almost painfully like his mother- except with chubbier cheeks and their father's wide, dark eyes. He was dressed for church, wearing a powder blue suit and holding a stuffed rabbit to his chest.

  


“Out,” Philip said.

  


“It's Sunday.”

  


“So I'm aware.”

  


“Mother and Aunt Angelica are taking us to church.”

  


Philip had to resist rolling his eyes. “Well, I have things to do other than sitting in a chapel, James.”

  


“And what is that?” Angelica asked, taking up the doorway. She was dressed in a creamy dress, her hair tied in a braid across her forehead- she had clearly put effort into looking nice.

  


“If you _must_ know,” Philip said, looking at his sister in exasperation. “I'm going to the library. I have some books for school I need to find.”

  


“You prefer the library over church?”

  


“Honestly? Yes.”

  


The Hamilton's had never been religious- their father came close to almost laughing in the face of the religion (“Philip,” His father had told him, back when he was no older than James. “You can't go ask God for help and expect everything to fix itself up. You need to fix it yourself.”) But their mother felt closer to God (there was more than one time he had walked in on her praying before bed) but knowing that her husband hated it, she rarely took the family to church. She had just recently taken up the tradition again, and Philip was positive it was nothing more than a ploy to try and irritate his father.

  


“Oh, let your brother be,” Aunt Angelica said, coming up behind Angelica, who was still standing in the doorway. Philip thought that he had more of his aunt's look than his mothers, with the same dark skin and curly hair. He certainly had inherited most of his fathers face, but he always thought he looked a bit more like his aunt than his mother.

  


“Thank you, Aunt Angelica,” Philip said, turning back to the door.

  


“The rest of the family is coming.” Angelica said, crossing her arms. “Is it really fair to let Philip leave?”

  


“You're brother has quite a bit of work to tend to. He deserves a break from the family affairs.”

  


Angelica rolled her eyes. “He's only been home a week. We're the one's who have to deal with the family affairs.”

  


Philip gritted his teeth. “I'll be back by noon.”

  


“Are you taking the carriage?” His aunt asked.

  


“If I can. The library's father than walking distance...”

  


“So _we_ have to walk?” James asked.

  


“It's fine, James,” Their aunt insisted. “The church is only around the corner.” She flashed a final smile at Philip. “Have fun with your studies.”

  


“Thank you, Aunt Angelica.” With a final smug smile directed at his sister, Philip slipped out the door.

  


\- - - - -

  


He spotted her 6 blocks from home. She was wearing a sky blue dress which seemed even brighter against the contrast of her dark skin. She had a white shall draped over her shoulders, and had a giant leather bag slung over one shoulder. She was facing away from him, her hair still holding the corkscrew curls she had been wearing the night before, but now much looser, falling over the shawl in thicks waves.

  


“Oh, can you pull over for a second?”

  


The driver raised his eyebrows, but obeyed, and Philip leapt out of the carriage before the wheels had come to a full stop, his feet hitting the cobble stone with a satisfying slap.

  


“Theo!” He called, starting to run to catch up with her.

  


Theodosia visibly stiffened as she stopped. She turned, to face Philip as he reached her, revealing the books she was holding against her chest.

  


“Mr. Hamilton,” She said, flashing her pearly white teeth. “What a lovely surprise.”

  


Philip shrugged. “Well, I can't resist a beautiful lady when I see one.”

  


Theo's face grew pink, staring up at him with wide eyes. “That's not entirely appropriate, Mr. Hamil-”

  


“Call me Philip.”

  


Theodosia took a breath and started again. “Philip. I really don't want to start any rumors around town to spur on our father's feud.”

  


“What are we doing to do that? We're just two people talking, right?”

  


Theodosia's eyebrows knit together. “You know what it implies. And I'd rather not be implying anything with anyone, especially you.”

  


Philip's jaw dropped in fake shock. His hand grasped his chest. “You wound me, Theo.”

  


Theodosia gave him one last stiff look before turning and continuing to walk away. Philip quickly nodded to the his driver as if to say “you may be waiting a while,” before running to catch up with her.

  


“Where are you heading?” He called. He found himself having to jog to keep up with her, which almost made him want to laugh.

  


“Not that it's any of your business,” Theodosia said, facing forwards. “But I'm going to Mr. Ericson's house. I have a French Lesson.”

  


“You know french?”

  


“A bit.”

  


Philip raised his eyebrows. “That's impressive.”

  


A smile played at Theodosia's lips. “Thank you.”

  


“Not to brag or anything, but I happen to know a bit of French as well.”

  


“Most people do these days.”

  


“How do you walk so fast?”

  


The smile finally worked it's way across Theodosia's face. “No point in going slowly, now is there?”

  


“Ah, I beg to differ. It's a rather beautiful time of year, and I'd find it hard to take it all in while going at this speed.”

  


“That only proves to me that you aren't very good at multitasking.”

  


Philip laughed. “Look around. You have to admit, it's a pretty nice time of year.”

  


“Perhaps.”

  


“Oh, don't be like that, Theo.”

  


Theodosia's smile faded. She swallowed, ducking her head slightly. “I'm sorry, Mr. Hamilton, but I really need to be going, and I'm sure you have somewhere to be as well.”

  


“No where important. Why are you in such a rush?”

  


“I'm not, I just want to get to my lesson.”

  


“You mustn't be so stiff, Theo.”

  


“Please don't call me that.”

  


“Why not?” Philip said, tripping slightly over his feet. Theodosia was walking in longer strides now, clearly trying to leave him behind. “You're mother used to call you that all the time.”

  


“Yes, and the one good thing that came out of her death was that nick name going with her.”

  


Philip stopped, his arms hanging awkwardly at his side. Despite the fact that this was Theodosia's chance to ditch him, she stopped, turning to look at him.

  


“I'm...”

  


To Theodosia's surprise, Philip's face showed actual regret. “I'm sorry. I didn't know.”

  


“It's fine,” Theodosia said. “It was years ago. And I'm sure _your_ family tries not to get too deep into _my_ family's affairs.”

  


“I should have known,” Philip said.

  


“Really, it's not a problem.” Theodosia adjusted the books in her arms. “The real reason I dislike the name so much is because it's a boys name. Doesn't fit a lady like me too well.”

  


“Well, in that case,” Philip said, his smile starting to creep back onto his face. “Why not even out the score?”

  


“Excuse me?”

  


“If you call me the name of a lady, which obviously wouldn't fit a man of such high standards such as myself-” Theodosia snorted. Philip ignored her and continued. “Then would it be alright for me to call you a name that, yes if perhaps is meant for those who are male, I still believe fits your elegant beauty.”

  


Theodosia smiled slightly. She tucked a curl behind her ear. “What do you suggest?”

  


Philip pondered it for a moment. “Phillipa?”

  


Theodosia laughed. “I've never heard that name before.”

  


“It's a very nice name. My mother was considering naming me Phillipa if I was a girl.”

  


“Original.”

  


“So do you agree?”

  


Theodosia turned and started walking again, but at a slower pace. Philip quickly caught up, looking at her with anticipation.

  


“I doubt I could call you Phillipa with a straight face.” Theodosia said. “But yes, I suppose.”

  


Philip smiled. “Thank you very much, Theo.”

  


Theodosia bit her lip. “You better be off, I have no doubt you're late for something.”

  


“Goodbye, my lovely Theo.”

  


“Farewell, Sir Phillipa.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really glad I found a way to slip Phillipa's name into this since I need to honor her in every waking moment of my life.
> 
> (Thank you for reading sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes)


	3. Chapter 3

Philip considered faking a stomach ache, or claiming he had an important piece of work to get out of dinner, but he knew his mother wouldn't let it go for months (“We only get to see you a couple times a year, Philip. The least you can do is have a meal with us.”) so he found himself sitting around the dinner table with his silent family.

The youngest children had already been put to bed, so that left Philip, Angelica, Alex, James, John, their Aunt Angelica, Aunt Peggy, Mother, and Father. Their parents were sitting at opposite ends of the table, their mother sitting with her back straight and her jaw set. Their father looking down at their chicken dinner in silence. Their mother sat with her two sisters on either side of her. Most of the children sat closer to their father.

The silence made Philip want to stab himself in the leg with a steak knife. 

“How was church?” He asked, finally.

“Fine,” Angelica answered.

“It was very nice,” Aunt Angelica said. “How was the library?”

“Good. I ran into Theodosia again on the way there.”

“Who's Theodosia?” John asked. He had a lisp, and pronounced her name “Thee-do-sha.”

“Thee-oh-do-sha,” Angelica corrected.

“She's the daughter of one of dad's old friends,” Philip told John.

Their father snorted. Aunt Peggy bit her lip. “I'm not sure if 'friend' is the correct word...”

“There's no need to get into it now,” Their mother said.

“Who's her father?” John asked.

“Aaron Burr,” Their father said. The name was spoken with such thick irritation, it was as if just thinking about the man made his skin crawl.

“You're father tends to be a bit over dramatic when it comes to this man,” Their mother said, her voice cold.

“What did he do?” John asked, clearly not about to let the topic go.

“He stole Grandpa's senate seat,” Alex said, stabbing his chicken.

“I wouldn't say stole,” Aunt Angelica said. 

“He stole it,” Aunt Peggy insisted. 

“He stole it,” Their father agreed.

“Oh,” James said, and looked back down at his chicken.

There was a minute of silence. Philip poked at his plate.

“Is that all?” He asked after a minute.

“What?” His father said, looking up.

“Is that all he did? I mean, I know it wasn't great of him to take Grandpa's seat, but, surely that can't be enough to make you hate him so much.”

“I do not hate him,” Their father insisted.

Their mother snorted. 

“So did he do anything else?”

Angelica shot Philip a nervous look from across the table, but Philip ignored it. Their father waited a moment before answering.

“Some men are just made to clash. He isn't a bad man… at the same time he isn't a good man.”

“You're too harsh, Alexander,” Aunt Angelica said.

“None of my opinions are made without reason.”

Aunt Angelica rolled her eyes.

“At least I have reasons for what I feel,” Their father said. “Unlike Burr.”

Their mother stood, shaking the table. “Well, I'm finished. Angelica, if you could make your mother and Aunts some tea, that would be wonderful.”

“Of course, Mother,” Angelica said, standing. She gave Philip one last thin-lipped look before following the women out of the room.

\- - - - - 

“How was your day?” Theodosia asked, taking a bite of her mashed potatoes.

“Quite good. I got a letter from Mr. Jefferson.”

“The vice President?”

Her father nodded.

“Look at you, Father,” Theodosia said, beaming. “Getting letters from Vice Presidents. Won't be long before you're in office yourself.”

Her father smiled. “I wouldn't call it too impressive, but thank you. How was your day?”

“Good. Mr. Ericson says I'm making great strides in French.”

“Not surprised.”

“I ran into the Hamilton boy again today?”

“Again?”

“I saw him at the ball the other day.”

“Which one?”

“Philip.”

“I didn't know he was in town.”

“Back from school for the week. I believe he leaves tomorrow.”

“Has he turned out too much like his father?”

“I don't think I know his father well enough to say.”

“Loud?”

“Yes.”

“Opinionated?”

“Yes.”

“Talking to women with that strange half smile?”

Theodosia laughed. “Yes.”

“Sounds like his father.”

“Well, I didn't find him that bad, so maybe you're just being too harsh on his father.”

Her father laughed. “Oh, trust me Theodosia, if you met his Father you'd understand.”

“I have met his father,” Theodosia reminded him, though she knew it was so long ago that it didn't make a difference. “Besides, what about him is so terrible?”

“Oh he's just...” Her father sighed. “So self absorbed. And impulsive. And loud. He can really give you a headache.”

“Does he have any good traits?”

“He does well with the ladies. Though, perhaps he's done a little too well as of late.”

Theodosia couldn't help but laugh. “I swear, you'll be talking about that on your death bed.”

Her father smiled. “We should probably stop talking about it now, it isn't a very polite topic of conversation.”

“Perhaps,” Theodosia said.

\- - - - - 

“Philip?” Angelica asked, standing in his doorway.

“Yes?” Philip asked, turning from his desk. He put down his quill, his fingertips stained with ink.

“What are you doing?”

“Pardon?” Philip looked to his paper, then back at his sister. “Oh, nothing. Did you want something?”

“What is it?” Angelica asked, narrowing her eyes.

“Something for school. Now did you have a question or-”

“It's a poem, isn't it?”

“It is not-”

Angelica was racing towards his desk before Philip could finish. Luckily, his reflexes were faster than hers, and he grabbed the paper, crumpling it in his hand.

“Show me!” She cried, reaching for the paper. She sounding like an 8 year old.

“No!” Philip yelled back, sounding just as immature. He placed a hand on Angelica's chest, pushing her back. She let out and irritated cry before giving up and falling back against the wall. She was wearing her night gown, and it brushed the floor as she slumped down, crossing her arms. 

“That's not lady like,” Philip mocked, tucking the crushed paper into his pocket.

“Oh, be quiet.”

“Did you want something?”

Angelica sighed, blowing a lock of dark hair from her face. She took a second to compose her face into a more serious expression before speaking again. “How did you make it through dinner?”

“What do you mean?”

“It's near impossible to be in the same room with Mother and Father- it's near impossible for them to be in a room with each other.”

“You've made it through far more dinners than me. You've been doing it for months. This was my first time since school started.”

“Do you think they'll get a divorce?”

Philip bit his lip. “I think if they were going to, Mother would have already kicked Pops out.”

Angelica looked at her bare feet.

“Aren't you cold?” Philip asked. “That gown isn't very warm.”

Angelica ignored his question. “Do you think they should get a divorce?”

Philip swallowed. “Does any child think their parents should get a divorce?”

“Children who have unhappy parents.”

“I think they just want their parents to be happy.”

Angelica was quiet, her voice barely louder than a whisper. “I think they should.”

Philip didn't respond.

“I don't know why Mother hasn't already.”

“She loves Father.”

“Maybe Father doesn't love her.”

“Of course he does.”

“Not enough to keep himself of that Maria Reynolds lady.”

Philip's eyebrows knitted together. “You're ashamed of Pops?”

“I wish you'd stop calling him that. It's so childish. You may as well be calling him daddy.”

“It is not childish, Angelica, stop avoiding the question.”

“Of course I'm not ashamed of Father.” Angelica looked down at her nails. “I just don't understand how Mother can keep living like this. I wouldn't be able to do it.”

“Aren't marriages supposed to have rough spots?”

“There is a rather large difference between a rough spot and an affair, Philip.”

Philip clenched his jaw. “I'm going to get ready for bed.”

Angelica took the hint. “Goodnight, Philip.”

“Goodnight,” He said as she left the room, closing the door softly behind her.

Philip waited a moment before taking the paper from his pocket. He sighed as he smoothed the wrinkles from the parchment. The ink was smudged to the point past legibility. Philip sighed. 

“I was liking that one,” He muttered to himself, throwing it into one of his drawers.

Philip had wanted to be a poet for as long as he could remember- his mother had started reading him poetry when he was an infant, and he fell in love with it before he could even comprehend the words. He wrote his first poem when he was 6, and knew immediately that I was his calling in life.

His family was supportive. His mother would listen to him recite his choppy poems, his father telling him how to spell words Philip didn't know. Angelica thought it was weird, looking over his pages of poems with confusion, but had grinned when he read her poetry for her birthday.

But it didn't take long for Philip to figure out the basics of the political world- and that he would have to be following in his father's footsteps. Every son of every politician was expected to follow them. So, when he was 9, Philip announced that he was done with poetry.

“Really?” His mother had asked. She was 8 month pregnant, her stomach blooming out under her bodice.

Philip nodded. “It's not a proper profession for me.”

“That's what I've been telling you,” Angelica said, stabbing her brussels sprouts.

“That's a shame,” His father said. “Are you sure?”

Philip nodded. He didn't write a poem for another week. Then he broke his word and started writing them again- this time in secret.

It wasn't much of a secret to the rest of the family, just something they never talked about. Angelica would bring it up when she saw him writing in his room, taunting him, but his parents never said anything about it. He never brought it up. Despite the fact that it was incredibly obvious, he still felt ashamed of it. He still wanted to keep to his word. He wanted to stop writing all the stupid poems.

He considered getting out a new piece of paper and starting over, but decided against it. He was too tired to write anything decent at the moment anyways.

\- - - - - 

“Can I help you?” The maid asked, opening the door. She was a nice looking woman, short and a little pudgy, with her hair pulled back into a long braid.

“Would Miss Burr happen to be in?” Philip asked, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

“I believe so...” She paused, her eyes scanning Philip. He smiled at her. He knew that he looked especially nice that day- he had spent a good 20 minutes trying to pull his hair back just right, and was wearing dark green, which his father said was Philip's best color.

“Who should I say is here for her?” The maid asked.

Philip paused before answering, “Phillipa.”

The maid's forehead wrinkled in confusion, but she turned heading for the other room. “Please wait in here while I get her.”

Philip sat in one of the arm chairs in the corner. The Burr home was lighter than the Hamilton home, full of creamy colors and large windows that took the length of entire walls. Philip took in the room around him while he waited.

Theodosia entered only a minute later, wearing a white lacy bodice. She looked absolutely radiant in the light, her hair officially washed free of the ringlets and tied back in a yellow ribbon to match her skirt.

“Of course,” She said as she saw him, almost laughing. “Thanks you Margaret, that will be all.”

The maid left the room, leaving Philip and Theodosia alone. Theodosia crossed her arms, looking at him from across the room. He smiled at her.

“Can I help you, Mr. Hamilton?”

“Oh Theo, no need to be so formal.”

“Why are you here?”

“There's also no need to be quite so blunt.”

Theodosia's eyes looked almost a little bit sad. “You're lucky my father's out. Do you know what would have happened if he was here?”

“What's the matter? I'm not allowed to visit a friend?”

Theodosia's eyes widened slightly as her cheeks grew red. “We're-” She swallowed. “We're friends now?”

“Of course. I believe anyone who's allowed to address me by a female name is considered my friend.”

Theodosia bit her lip, composing herself. “Is there a reason for this visit.”

Philip pointed his thumb towards the street, where his carriage was waiting. “I'm heading back to school.”

“You're driver must be incredibly annoyed with you. First you pull over on the street, now this?”

Philip waved away her comment. “He'll be fine.”

Theodosia's smile fell ever so slightly, her eyebrows drawing together. “How long will you be at school?”

“Until Christmas.”

“That's a long time.”

“Not too long. I'll be back before you know it.”

Theodosia laughed. “I'll be sure to mark it in my calendar.”

“Oh, that reminds me.” Philip suddenly threw open the door, ducking his head outside. He craned his neck to see the house's number. “144… what street is this?”

“Emberly?”

“144 Emberly street?”

“Avenue.”

“144 Emberly avenue.” Philip pulled himself back inside and closing the door. “I'll be sure to write it down as soon as I reach school.”

“Why?”

“Letters, of course.”

Theodosia laughed. “What will you have to write me about?”

Philip shrugged, feeling his ribcage contract slightly as she laughed. It was physically painful- he couldn't help but wonder if he was contracting a cold- but a smile spread across his face. “You never know, Theo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> christmas break is officially upon us, let's thank the heavens.


	4. Chapter 4

_My Dearest Theo,_

 

_How long has it been since we last spoke? A day? A week? A year. I seem to have lost my sense of time, for it feels like eternities since I've last been graced with the pleasure of seeing your face._

 

_I just checked. It's been a week. That sounds more accurate than years, so I will choose to believe my calendar._

 

_I've been thinking of you more than I believe I should be, seeing as we only talked three times over the course of my visit- but you seem to have made quite and impression on me. I've bragged to all my friends of the incredibly intelligent and beautiful young woman I reconnected with on my trip home- I do believe they're getting tired of hearing about you, but I'm not yet tired of speaking of you._

 

_I do have a greater reason to write you other than to show my flatteries for you- though that should be reason enough. I've asked my French teacher for some literary recommendations- he is always talking of how reading is one of the best ways to learn a language, second only to conversing. And I do hope we can speak once I return home for Christmas, but until then I hope this will hold you over._

 

_I hope you're doing well. Send my respects to my father- I've been plotting how we can start building bridges between our families, but we'll discuss that later._

 

_Yours, now and forever,_

 

_-Phillipa_

 

Theodosia had snorted when she first started reading the letter, but by the time she was finished her heart was racing and her tongue had suddenly turned to sandpaper. She attempted to swallow, but failed, causing her to fall into a fit of coughs.

 

“Are you alright, Miss?” Margaret asked, dropping her feather duster and coming to Theodosia's side.

 

“I'm fine,” Theodosia choked out. “Merely have a frog in my throat.”

 

Margaret looked at Theodosia with worry. “Who was the letter from? If I may ask?”

 

“Oh,” Theodosia folded the letter. “A friend I saw at the ball the other day. Just sending their respects.”

 

Margaret nodded, though didn't seem completely convinced. “As long as you're alright, Miss.”

 

Theodosia gave a curt nod before grabbing the letter back and slipping towards the door. “I think I'll go make myself some tea.”

 

Margaret gave a small nod as Theodosia disappeared through the doorway, holding the letter to her chest.

 

“How incredibly inappropriate,” Theodosia said, but she could feel herself grinning. She reached the kitchen and sat down to read it again.

 

Her eyes read over every word with care. His handwriting was surprisingly clean, with tall letters and swiftly dotted i's. The tales on his a's looped up again in the air before connecting to the next letter. It was so swift and gentle, like he was writing out the wind.

 

Theodosia bit her lip in confusion. She wondered if maybe the letter had been meant for someone else… if he had scrawled down her name by accident.

 

But the package sitting on the table that had accompanied had her name written on it as well, this time her full name. He had written it to make the letters look like swans, the t's and d's craning their necks to the sky. The package was large, heavy, and wrapped up in brown paper and twine. She sighed, before setting down the letter and untying the carefully placed bow.

 

It was a book, which Theodosia had been expecting. It was in french, the title including a word she didn't know… she made a note to ask Mr. Ericson about it the next time she saw it. But she felt excitement rising in her chest as she looked at it, not only with the thrill of a challenge, but the fact that it was a gift for her.

 

From Philip.

 

She flipped through the first few pages, her fingers tracing the delicate words. “Oh, Philip,” She whispered. “What are you doing?”

 

\- - - - -

 

“Miss Hamilton!”

 

Angelica turned, looking at Theodosia with surprise. She was looking up at the wooden shelf, covered in candies. It had been Theodosia's favorite place in the penny store, though now she didn't have candies often. Her taste for them had inexplicably changed after her mother's funeral.

 

“Miss Burr?” Angelica asked, her surprise turning to confusion. She didn't bother hiding it, not trying to put on a happy face and greet her. She was like an open book. It almost made Theodosia annoyed, but she just kept smiling.

 

“It's so nice to see you!” Theodosia said. She tucked the book she was holding to her chest- the one Philip had given her- into her bag. “You look lovely.”

 

“Thank you...” Angelica said. It took her a moment to remember her most basic manners. “You do too.”

 

Theodosia beamed, despite the irritation bubbling just beneath her skin. “Thank you.”

 

“Who's this?” Asked a woman coming up behind Angelica, a parasol resting against her shoulder. Theodosia's eyes widened at how incredibly beautiful she was in a deep buttercup dress. She was clearly related to Angelica- not because she looked so similar to her, but because she looked almost identical to Philip.

 

“Theodosia Burr,” Angelica said, her voice flat. The woman's eye brows raised slightly, but she kept smiling- Theodosia felt better knowing at least one of the Hamilton's had some manners.

 

“How nice to meet you!” She said, holding a hand out to Theodosia. “Philip has told us all so much about you.”

 

“All good, I'd hope.” Theodosia forced a laugh as she took the woman's hand.

 

“Oh, all glowing reports.”

 

There was a pause before she said, “Oh, how rude of me, I completely forgot to introduce myself.” She held a hand to her chest. “My name is Angelica Schuyler. Well, Angelica Schuyler Church, but Schuyler has such a better ring to it, don't you think? I'm Angelica's aunt.”

 

“So nice to meet you.”

 

“Like wise.” She flashed one more smile before saying, “Well, I'd better go find James and Alex. The trouble those two can get into.”

 

“Lovely to meet you,” Theodosia said as she left. She turned to Angelica. “Your aunt seems wonderful.”

 

“Why are you talking to me?”

 

Theodosia's eyebrows shot up her forehead. “Pardon?”

 

“Theodosia, our fathers despise each other. That, by default, makes out entire families despise each other.”

 

Theodosia was slightly taken aback by how blunt she was. “Well, I for one don't despise any member of your family.”

 

“Then why haven't you talked to any of us for the past 10 years?”

 

“I haven't exactly had the opportunity,” Theodosia said. “Besides, just because I have no negative feelings towards you doesn't mean my father can't keep me from seeing you.”

 

Angelica crossed her arms.

 

“I'm talking to you know, aren't I?”

 

Angelica bit her lip. “Why _are_ you talking to me? Don't tell me you don't have some motive beyond polite conversation.”

 

Theodosia looked at Angelica in irritation. “Fine. I was wondering if I could ask you about your brother.”

 

Angelica's eyes narrowed. “What about him?”

 

“He… well...” Theodosia stifled a sigh. “How would you describe the way he… interacts with women?”

 

Angelica raised an eyebrow. “If your asking about his sexual affairs I'm afraid I have no knowledge.”

 

Theodosia felt herself turning bright red. “I meant in conversation, Angelica, goodness!”

 

Angelica shrugged. “You never know.”

 

Theodosia puckered her lips. “I'm starting to regret talking to you...”

 

Angelica rolled her eyes. “He tends to be rather… flirtatious with young ladies. I don't think he often acts upon it, just teases them with dances and _romantic language”-_ Angelica waved her hands in front of her, as if she was acting out the romantic language herself- “and such. I hear it's swoon worthy.”

 

“He does this with everyone?”

 

“All women, yes. I don't think he knows how to talk to them any other way, to be completely honest.”

 

Theodosia bit her lip. He had spoken to her like a person though- in the beginning and the end he had been all cocky smiled and arched eyebrows. But in between, there had been actual words that formed actual thoughts.

 

“Is that all you need to know?” Angelica asked.

 

“Yes… Thank you Angelica, it's been so nice seeing you again.”

 

“Sure it has.”

 

Theodosia grabbed a chocolate off the shelf before leaving. She threw it into her mouth, cringing and she bit into it. It tasted bitter, making her teeth stick together. She sighed, forcing herself to swallow.

 

All she had learned from the conversation was that she had even more reason for confusion- apparently Philip talked to all girls both like he had with Theodosia, and completely differently. She gnawed on her bottom lip, trying to come to a conclusion.

 

Her only way to get answers was to write him back.

 

\- - - - -

 

_Dear Philip- oh, apologies, I meant Phillipa,_

 

_It was quite a nice surprise to receive your letter- I must admit I wasn't expecting one. I've started the book, and it's both challenging and interesting- I do hope you're reading your own copy, for I'm going to need someone to discuss it with. But if you aren't I won't be surprised, seeing as it's probably beyond your level of reading._

 

_I must admit that I've been thinking of you more often as well- you are one of the very few men in my life to have spoken to me like a person, after all, even if it was fleeting. And I too, am surprised to see it's only been a week- and a half now- since we last saw each other._

 

_I've seen your family around town, and they seem to be getting on well. I've met your aunt, and she seems to be a simply wonderful._

 

_I am slightly curious about your plan to “bridge our two families”- though I doubt my father would allow such a thing, and I believe the same goes for yours. Not to mention, I don't have too much faith that you have any plan at all, much less one that would work._

 

_I hope you're doing well in your studies, and I await your next letter._

 

_Yours,_

 

_-Theodosia Burr_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm probably going to be posting like 6 chapters tomorrow cause i really wanna get all the christmas stuff out ON CHRISTMAS.
> 
> Also, pro tip: Wanna bang a girl, by her a challenging book in french.


	5. Chapter 5

_Dear Philip,_

 

_I hope your time at school and studies are going well. Mother and Father continue to be in a perpetual staring fight with each other, and it's starting to feel oh so juvenile- though who am I to call something juvenile. Aunt Angelica and Peggy are still here (Aunt Peggy sends her love.)_

 

_Now that we have that out of the way, I have a matter to ask you about. This morning I had a girl approach me in the shop asking about you. Though I'm used to girls developing silly fantasies over you- it is incredibly irritating- this one was particularly concerning. I doubt you'll be surprised to learn that it was Theodosia Burr._

 

_I can't say I'm surprised, seeing as you've been bringing her up lately, but I can't help but wonder why she was asking after you- and after the “Way you converse with women.” (Which by the way, she claims not to have meant as an innuendo, but I'm not too sure.) And asked me in a rather snappy manner, I might add._

 

_So, dearest brother, I have to ask- why is our Father's enemy's daughter asking after you? I want to say I'm sure that you haven't committed any… controversial acts with her, but I'm afraid it would be a lie._

 

_I hope you reply swiftly, seeing as if you don't, I'll have to take matters in to my own hands._

 

_-Angelica Hamilton_

 

_PS. James told me not to tell you he stole your handkerchief- but knowing you, I'd doubt you've even noticed it._

 

Philip couldn't help but smile at the letter- the irritation in his sisters writing was clear, and the fact that Theodosia had asked after him was… well flattering to say the least. He bit his lip as he reread the passage, feeling himself starting to blush. He quickly folded the letter and slid it into his desk drawer, shaking off the feeling.

He was surprised that Theodosia had asked Angelica about him- he really hadn't thought much more would come of it. Yes, he found Theodosia… beautiful felt like it was the wrong word, but was also the first one to come to mind. But she was also a _lady_. She wore her title with pride, her head held high, almost as if she was looking down on those around her.

Philip never went after _ladies_. He went after “young women,” who blushed and giggled and touched his arm when he told jokes. And even then, he never actually went after them. He had never actually gone after anyone before.

His eyebrows drew together as he pulled the letter out and reread it again. He had felt a pang of sadness at the lack of response- which still resinated through him as he read Angie's letter- but the fact that she was pursuing his family members with questions seemed like a sign in his favor.

 

\- - - - -

 

_Dear Angie_

 

_I will assure you, that despite the fact that I could if I wished, I have not committed any “controversial” acts with Miss Burr._

 

_I want to say that she was looking after me since she's desperately in love with me, but knowing that you aren't very good at taking a joke, I will instead tell you that I have no idea why she was. She probably was worried that I was courting her, and you know how the Burr's get with their honor and such._

 

_I do hope you used proper manners with Miss Burr, though I know better than assume you did. Perhaps the reason she was so snappy is because you gave her reason to be._

 

_I have, indeed noticed that James stole my handkerchief. I also never used that handkerchief, so you can tell him to keep it._

 

_Yours_

 

_-Philip I don't need to add my last name because we're siblings and you know who I am._

 

_\- - - - -_

 

He received Theodosia's reply the next day. He was almost giddy as he rushed to his room, his fingers itched to rip open the envelope.

He read it. He grinned. He reread it 2 more times. And then he pulled out a quill to answer.

 

\- - - - -

 

_Dearest Theo,_

 

_I feel incredibly honored to have received a letter from you- I was worried I was too lowly a creature to receive a response from a woman of your pristine status. My studies have been going well, though now that I'm back I can't help but feeling you belong here more than I. Perhaps our discussions were short, but I couldn't help but get the feeling that you care more for education than I, and it feels very wrong to be studying when I know that you are home with little to do._

 

_I regret to inform you that I have not yet started the book, though I have obtained a copy. Sadly, my French teacher informs me that I am grades beneath where I need to be in order to comprehend it, so I am making sure to hurry up in my French studies so I can join you in reading it._

 

_I'm glad to here you met my aunt, and though I don't know which it was (Peggy or Angelica?) I am sure that she loved you, seeing as they are both good judges of character. My sister did mention seeing you in the shop the other day- though, I must admit, she didn't seem very enthusiastic about it._

 

_I am hurt at your lack of faith in me! I happen to have a plan that is ingenious, and will prove to you that our families can once again be allies- if not even friends._

 

_I desperately await your response, and miss your face dearly._

 

_Yours, now and always,_

 

_-Phillipa_

 

_\- - - - -_

 

Theodosia felt awfully silly sitting in her room, the door looked, her eyes scanning the letter again and again. But she couldn't help herself- and she didn't want to risk Margaret, or worse, her father, coming in and asking what letter had her blushing so deeply. She gently pressed her palms against her cheeks trying to cool herself down. She knew she was being childish, like a little girl getting a note from a boy she fancied, but Philip's letter made her feel like there were butterflies trapped in her chest.

 

She took a deep breath, read over the letter one more time, and folded it up. She looked around the room for a moment before deciding to hide it in her dresser drawer among her bodices- it was the same place she had put the first letter. She would be mortified if her father found it, and although there was a small chance of Margaret finding it while cleaning, she decided she was safe if it was buried deep enough.

 

She tucked her hair behind her ears suppressing a grin. The letter hadn't been flirtatious or… god forbid suggestive, but something about Philips words lit a spark in her.

 

She forced herself to stop blushing and opened the door, heading for the kitchen. Her father was sitting at the table, a cup of tea sitting besides him, a slice of bread in his hand. He was bent over the book in front of him, drinking in every word.

 

“Good afternoon, Father,” Theodosia said.

 

“Good afternoon, Theodosia.” Her father pulled his eyes from the book. “What's kept you in your room all morning.”

 

“Just reading some letters,” Theodosia said.

 

“Must be long letters.”

 

Theodosia bit her lip. “I was thinking I might head out to Martha's.”

 

“Do you have plans?”

 

“No, it's just been a while since I last saw her. You don't think she would mind do you?”

 

“Oh, of course not.” Her father turned back to his book. “Would you take the carriage?”

 

Theodosia nodded. “And I was hoping I could steal a slice of cake for the way.”

 

Her father smiled. “That sounds like you, Theodosia.”

 

Theodosia smiled. “I'll try to be back by dinner.”

 

“I'll have Margaret keep something warm for you incase you miss it.”

 

“Thank you, Father.”

 

“Have a nice time.”

 

\- - - - -

 

“Miss Burr?”

 

Theodosia smiled at the maid as she opened the door. She smiled back, the same way all staff smiled, like it was just part of the uniform.

 

“I wasn't aware that you were visiting today,” She said.

 

“Oh, I didn't make plans for it,” Theodosia said. “And I know it isn't very polite to drop in unannounced, but I was hoping to see Martha, and it wouldn't have done me much good to write a letter now, would it?”

 

The maid laughed. “I guess not. Come in, I'll fetch her.”

 

Theodosia knew Martha's home as well as her own- she had been spending time there since she was 6. Martha's house was bigger than Theodosia's, with 2 more bed rooms and a larger dining room. Theodosia used to be jealous of Martha when she was younger- not only because her house was nicer, but because she got to stay in one place. Theodosia had moved 4 times, from Albany to Manhattan to Philadelphia and back again. She had been in the same house for the past 4 years and adored being in one place. Martha had gotten to stay in the same place her whole life.

 

Theodosia drifted into the kitchen. She found the kettle sitting on the stove and put it on for tea. She sat down and waited for Martha, her eyes drifting around the room.

 

“Theodosia!” Martha called, clambering down the stairs. She was dressed as if she was about to go out, wearing a violet dress that billowed around her and her hair tied up with at least 10 pins.

 

“Do you ever dress casually?” Theodosia asked.

 

Martha stopped in her steps, dropping her arms in irritation. “You of all people should appreciate a good fashion taste, Theodosia.”

 

“If you dress like that everyday it takes away the power of it when you're _supposed_ to dress like that.”

 

Martha rolled her eyes. “This was a happy occasion until you opened your mouth.”

 

Theodosia ignored her. “I put on tea. Do you have peppermint?”

 

“I believe so...” She turned towards one of the cupboards. “Is there a reason that you came calling? Or did you just want to bask in my company?”

 

Theodosia looked at her lap nervously. “I do actually have an ulterior motive...”

 

Martha snapped her fingers. “I knew it, Theodosia. Why is it you never call simply because you want to see me?”

 

Theodosia scoffed. Martha rolled her eyes before pulling free a jar of tea leaves. “I'm only mentioning it. So what's this ulterior motive of yours?”

 

“Have you ever received love letters?”

 

Martha snorted, one arm reaching for tea cups on the top shelf. “Have I? You underestimate me, Theodosia.”

 

“What… do they say? Usually?”

 

Martha spun on her heals to look at Theodosia, a tea cup in each hand. Her eyes narrowed. “Why? You aren't writing any love letters, are you? Because you know that's usually the man's job.”

 

“No, Martha, of course not. I was just curious.”

 

“Well, if you must know,” Martha said, pouring the tea. “They're usually all very similar. 'Oh, Martha, my heart yearns for you! I find myself dreaming of you at night! If we're apart another moment I fear I might burst! The only thing that could cure me from this awful feeling is to take your hand in marriage!'” Martha rolled her eyes. “Never works. Why would you say I make you feel awful? What kind of thing is that to say to a lady?”

 

“Maybe it's because the feeling of love is just too much to bare.”

 

“But they don't love me. Maybe the like me, and they certainly like how I look in a ball gown, but they never come anywhere near loving me. And it shows in their letters. A man without love is a man without the skills to write a letter, if you ask me.”

 

“You're being very judgmental, Martha.”

 

“You asked!” Martha set a tea cup in front of Theodosia, sitting across from her. “And why do you care anyways?”

 

“I've just been thinking of potential suitors,” Theodosia lied. Well, it wasn't exactly a lie- Theodosia had been thinking of potential suitors as long as she could remember. Her mother had always brought it up when she was misbehaving (“No man will ever want a girl with so little manners, Theodosia.”) and her father was quick to remind her that she'd have to keep her eye out for honorable young men on the dance floor. The topic never fully left Theodosia's mind, but she was never actively thinking about it.

 

Martha wrinkled her nose. “Really Theodosia, the last thing I want to think about is men.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter's on the short side, I promise the next one is long.
> 
> Also, Merry Christmas from your neighborhood Jew.


	6. Chapter 6

Philip could here James' feet against the floor as he ran for the door. Philip smiled slightly and prepared himself to have the 10 year old attacking him with a hug.

 

“Philip!” James cried as he threw open the door. Just as Philip had predicted, James leapt into his brother's arms, knocking Philip back a step.

 

“Hey, James,” Philip laughed.

 

“It's Christmas!” James yelled.

 

“Not quite,” Angelica said from the doorway. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she raised an eyebrow at Philip.

 

“Almost,” Philip said, setting his brother down. “How many days is it now? 4?”

 

“3!” James corrected.

 

“Of course!” Philip slapped his own forehead. “How could I forget?”

 

James laughed, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

 

“You know we have a maid to open the door, right?” Angelica asked.

 

“Oh, stop being such a stick in the mud, Angie,” Philip said, pushing past his sister into the house. “Is the rest of the family home?”

 

“Father's out,” Angelica said. “The women went out to stock up on food for Christmas dinner. John and Alex are at school.”

 

“Why aren't you at school?” Philip said, looking to James.

 

“I'm sick,” James insisted, still beaming. Angelica rolled her eyes.

 

“You don't look very sick to me...” Philip said.

 

James nodded. “I _am_ very sick. I have a fever.”

 

Philip raised an eyebrow.

 

James looked around as if there was someone around to eavesdrop. When he was sure there was no one, he ushered his brother closer. Philip crouched down so he was eye level with James.

 

“I don't actually have a fever,” James whispered behind cupped hands.

 

Philip gasped in fake shock. “No!”

 

James nodded. “But don't tell mother. She'd be mad at me.”

 

“Mother _knows_ you don't have a fever, James,” Angelica said. “She's just letting you stay home.”

 

“Oh, I don't think so,” Philip said. “I bet James really tricked her. He is an excellent actor.”

 

James beamed with pride. “See, Angie? I told you Philip would agree with me.”

 

Philip smiled. “Well, I just wanted to drop by quickly to let you know I'm here. I have to head over to the library.”

 

James' smile dropped. Angelica sighed. “Of course you do. Can't even spend 5 minutes around us.”

 

Philip rolled his eyes. “I'll return in half an hour. 20 minutes, more likely. I need books for school.”

 

“Aren't you supposed to have a library at school for this?”

 

“It's not nearly as large as the town library and the books I need are always checked out.”

 

“You promise to be back soon?” James asked.

 

“I promise. I'll be back before you know I'm gone.” Philip turned, opening the door. “Tell Mother I came by if she returns before I do.”

 

“I will,” Angelica said, her voice full of aggravation.

 

Philip ignored it, closing the door and heading for his carriage.

 

\- - - - -

 

Philip absolutely adored his town's library. It took up half the block, and looked like it belonged in ancient Greece. Each room was packed with more books than Philip could count, and filled with the familiar scent of parchment. Philip used to spend half his time at the library, studying, pouring over poetry, trying to write a poem or two of his own. He missed it horribly while at school- there school's library was half the size and always full of people who didn't understand the importance of quiet in a library.

 

He walked up the steps, feeling as if a weight had been removed from his shoulders. He grinned in excitement, his walk turning into a jog, almost desperate to reach the doors.

 

He breathed deeply as he entered, the ink and parchment filling every inch of his being. He took a second to compose himself before heading for the poetry section.

 

Once there it didn't take him long before he found a book and sat down. He hadn't lied to Angelica- he really did need books for school- but he was pretty sure that could wait. He settled into his seat, letting out a small sigh of content before he started reading.

 

It was short lived. It barely took 5 minutes before and irritatingly loud voice interrupted him.

 

“When will you be done?”

 

Philip looked up from his book, but there was no one in sight. He waited a moment before hearing it again.

 

“I'm sick and tired of waiting.”

 

The voice, a clearly feminine one, was coming from the other side of the bookshelf he was closest to. He ignored it, turning back to his book.

 

“Come _on_ , Theodosia!”

 

Philip's head snapped back up. His heart rate suddenly sped up, though Philip wasn't sure why. He closed his book, shoving it into the shelf behind him- he knew it wasn't in the right place, but he didn't care too much in the moment. He stood, brushing off his shirt as he approached the corner of the bookshelf, carefully peering around it.

 

A head of blond hair faced away from him. Whoever the hair belonged to was wearing a lily white dress that looked like a wedding gown. She stood with her shoulders slumped, curling her hair over one finger.

 

“Pardon,” Philip said, stepping out from behind the bookshelf. The girl yelped, spinning around. As her eyes landed on Philip, her eyes grew warm, a smile spreading across her face.

 

“Hello,” She said, flashing teeth a white as her dress. “Philip Hamilton, correct?”

 

“Indeed.” Philip held a finger in the air, signifying quiet. The girl waited, watching his face with anticipation.

 

“Martha… Seabury?”

 

She nodded, her smile turning to a grin. “Yes, that's me.”

 

“How could I forget,” Philip said. “We met at the ball, correct?”

 

Martha nodded again. “Home for Christmas?”

 

“Afraid I am. Though it doesn't feel much like Christmas without the snow.”

 

Martha nodded in understanding. “I have a whole closet of winter clothes waiting, yet it's not cold enough to wear any of them. What's the use of December and February if you don't get to wear the clothes?”

 

Philip smiled, despite not understanding Martha's struggle- he wore virtually the same outfit everyday.

 

“Are you here alone?” Philip asked.

 

“Oh, no,” Martha said, wrinkling her nose. “I'd never come here on my own. Too much paper. It makes my skin crawl.” A shiver ran through Martha as if to prove her point. “No, I'm here wi-”

 

“Ok, I'm done.” Theodosia emerged from around a corner, holding 3 gigantic books in her arms, as well as her leather bad slung over her shoulder, which was practically bursting. Philip almost gasped as he saw her, seeing as she looked more amazing than he had remembered- her hair was fashioned into two braids falling over either shoulder, her lips lightly tinted with a dark lipstick. She wore a scarlet red dress, with no corset or hoop, letting it fall to the floor naturally. She was looking down at the books in her arms, closing the one she had been reading.

 

She looked up, her eyes immediately finding Philip. She froze, and for a moment, Philip was worried that she was going to drop the arm full of books she was carrying.

 

“Speak of the devil,” Martha said, tittering awkwardly. “Theodosia, you remember-”

 

“Mr. Hamilton,” Theodosia said. Her face had turned noticeably pinker, growing shades closer to matching her dress- Though Philip knew his cheeks and ears were probably doing the same.

 

“What a… surprise.”

 

“He's in town for Christmas,” Martha said.

 

“O-Of course,” Theodosia said, shuffling her books in her arms while attempting to stand straighter. She couldn't help but feel that she was slouching- and found herself wishing she had dressed up more.

 

“It's lovely to see you again,” Philip said, putting on his half smile once again.

 

“Likewise,” Theodosia said.

 

Martha looked between the two of them with her eyebrows raised. “Well,” She said after a moment. “How long are you staying?”

 

“Through the New Year,” Philip said. “I plan on heading back to school on the 3rd.”

 

“A long while then,” Martha said.

 

“Not long enough,” Philip said, his eyes trailing back to Theodosia. She smiled, but couldn't seem to make eye contact.

 

“Oh!” Martha cried. “Do you have plans for tonight?”

 

“Other than Supper? No.”

 

“Perfect!” Martha said, clapping her hands. “Mr. Ericson is holding a Ball, for his students and their peers. You _must_ come.”

 

“Oh, Martha, he doesn't have to-” Theodosia started.

 

“I'd love to come,” Philip insisted before she could finish.

 

“We wouldn't want to take you from your family,” Theodosia said.

 

“My, you make it sound as if you don't want me there.”

 

Theodosia stood back, her eyes wide almost as if he had been the one to insult her- not that Philip was insulted of course.

 

Martha laughed, resting a hand on Philip's arm. “Then it's settled. It starts at 9 pm- oh his address is 114 Cherry Road. I would say attire is formal, but not _too_ formal, if you know what I mean.”

 

“I'll be sure to be there,” Philip said, smiling down at Martha. She gave a satisfied smile back, before spinning to face Theodosia.

 

“I'll go check these out for you,” She said, grabbing the books from Theodosia's arms. “You two can catch up in the mean time.”

 

Theodosia grabbed for the books for a second before giving up, and nervously turning towards Philip. She felt as if her insides were churning, her organs grinding against each other.

 

At the same time, she was almost giddy to see Philip, wanting to bounce on her toes.

 

She had been expecting to feel… well, something when she saw him again. She was not expecting this.

 

Philip smiled at her, despite feeling equally as nervous. The butterflies had returned to his chest, but they were almost making it hard to breath.

 

Philip spoke first. “Are you enjoying the book?”

 

Theodosia nodded. “Very much. Thank you, it was such a thoughtful gift.”

 

“Anything for you,” Philip said. As soon as the words had left his mouth, he wanted to rip them from the air and choke himself with them. He felt his face grow hotter. _Anything for you._

 

And he used to want to be a poet.

 

Theodosia seemed to be blushing equally as deeply, the two stared at each other, in an awkward cycle of making and breaking eye contact.

 

“I was very fond of your letter,” Theodosia admitted, looking at Philip's shoes.

 

“I wrote it for someone I'm very fond of,” Philip said.

 

Theodosia looked like she wanted to laugh. “Philip-”

 

He started speaking at the same time, starting with, “Theo-” Their words got tangled around each other in the air, both of them stopping at the same time, then blurting out, “Go ahead.”

 

Theodosia sighed, fiddling with the end of her braid. “Philip...” She waited to see if he was going to speak. He was quiet, watching her with care and anticipation.

 

She opened her mouth to finish, but before she could Martha had returned. “You two have time to catch up?”

 

Theodosia nodded, taking the books back. “Thank you, Martha,” She said, despite the fact that she sounded like she wanted to pull Martha's teeth.

 

Martha beamed. “You're welcome.” She turned to Philip. “I can't wait to see you at the ball tonight, Mr. Hamilton. I do believe it will be quite a time.”

 

“I'll count down the minutes,” Philip called as Theodosia dragged Martha away.

 

\- - - - -

 

“Theodosia, do you not think you're being a tad over dramatic?”

 

Theodosia snorted. “That's really something, coming from you, Martha.”

 

Martha pursed her lips. “I'm sorry Theodosia, you two seemed like you wanted to talk. I just gave you a little privacy.”

 

Theodosia let out a huff of air, looking out the carriage window. “Why do I keep riding to balls with you?” She asked.

 

“Because I'm great company. Now stop changing the subject, what did you two talk about?”

 

Theodosia bit her lip and looked down at her lap. She was wearing a dark blue velvet dress that bloomed out beneath her, pearls lining up the back front and side. It was one of her favorite dresses. Martha had done up Theodosia's hair in a braided twist of some sorts, that kept the hair off her neck.

 

Martha sighed, and opened her fan. She didn't need a fan- even if it wasn't the coldest winter, it was winter none the less. Martha said that fans were the best accessory- she had spent a good week learning how to open one with the flick of a wrist. Her fan was pearly blue to match her dress.

 

“Like I said.” Martha fanned her face. “So overdramatic.”

 

“We didn't talk about anything. It was very awkward and I spent the whole time wishing you hadn't abandoned me like that.”

 

“Harsh words.”

 

“Oh, hush.”

 

“You seemed very eager to see each other.”

 

“You aren't the best at reading character, Martha.”

 

Martha glared at Theodosia. “Well, I hope he asks you to dance tonight.”

 

“He'd better not.”

 

“He clearly fancies you.”

 

“I highly doubt that, Martha.”

 

“And you clearly fancy him.”

 

Theodosia felt her cheeks blazing red as the carriage came to a stop. “Can we please drop this topic of conversation.”

 

“Fine,” Martha said, as she stood for the door. “For now. I make no promises about later.”

 

\- - - - -

 

Philip had no trouble finding Theodosia in the crowded ballroom- it was hard to miss the most beautiful girl in the room. He blushed slightly as he though it, and then decided to use the line when he got the chance to talk to her.

 

She was standing alone off to the side of the dance floor. She held a glass in her hand, glancing out at the people around her. And, of course, she was smiling, beaming at everyone around her.

 

Philip felt his heart beat start to accelerate as he reached her, forcing on a smile of his own.

 

“Theo,” He said, coming up besides her.

 

Theodosia's smile dimmed for half a second before it returned at full volume. “Phillipa.”

 

Philip's heart skipped a beat. “Fancy seeing you here.”

 

“Indeed.”

 

“Wasn't too hard to find you.”

 

“Was it?”

 

“It's never hard to miss the most beautiful girl in the room.”

 

Theodosia's eyes widened as she ducked her head slightly. “You mustn't say such things, Philip...” She said, sounding as if she had lost her voice, despite being louder than usual not a moment before.

 

“Where would Martha be?”

 

Theodosia rolled her eyes, seeming to recover rather quickly. “I can't keep track of that girl for more than 12 seconds, I swear. Probably's found some boy to dance to night away with.”

 

“You say that as if it's a bad thing.”

 

Theodosia was quiet, looking down at her punch. “So, how long have you been in town?”

 

“Got in this morning.”

 

“Not long then.”

 

“Sadly.” Philip ran his hand over his hair, his eyes tracing Theodosia's figure as she stared out at the dance floor. She was truly stunning, making Philip forgetting half of what he had wanted to say.

 

“Is Mr. Ericson a good teacher?” He finally managed.

 

Theodosia smiled. “Oh yes. He's a wonderful teacher, truly. I was worried no one would want me- a woman- as a student after I finished my first studies. But, look at me, studying with one of the best teachers in the land.”

 

“Have you showed him the book I gave you?”

 

Theodosia nodded. “He says it's an excellent choice. Thank you again for that. It was so thoughtful of you.”

 

“Think of it as a Christmas gift.”

 

Theodosia's eyes gleamed. “Well, now I feel rather foolish, seeing as I approach you empty handed.”

 

“Think nothing of it,” Philip insisted. “Your company is more than enough for me.”

 

Philip felt like his chest had expanded 3 sizes as Theodosia smiled.

 

“Philip!” Martha cried, suddenly bursting free from the throng of people dancing. “You made it! Oh, how wonderful it is to see you again!”

 

“The same to you, Miss Seabury.”

 

“Martha, please. Besides, we're friends now.”

 

Phillip raised his eyebrows and glanced to Theodosia, but she was only smiling, clearly amused.

 

“Come, you have to try the pastries they're serving,” Martha said, taking Philip's arm. She practically dragged him towards the dinner table, Philip jogging to keep up. Theodosia grinned, following them.

 

“I told my father I saw you earlier today,” Martha said, taking a bite of an eclair.

 

“Really?” Philip asked.

 

“He doesn't seem to be too fond of your family.”

 

“Well,” Philip said, glancing to Theodosia. “Many people seem to share those opinions these days.”

 

Theodosia looked down nervously. Martha handed her a scone. “ _Try_ these, Theodosia, simply amazing.”

 

Theodosia took a bite as Philip noticed a man pushed himself free of the people around him and starting towards them.

 

“Oh dear,” Martha said, catching sight of him. She sighed, finishing her eclair. “I apologize, Philip, but I fear that this gentleman has been following me in hope of a dance the entire night, and it's only the proper thing to grant him his wish. I'll be back after this song.”

 

As the man reached them Martha sighed, and turned towards them. “Yes, yes, George, you're receiving your dance.”

 

Philip and Theodosia were quiet for a moment before Philip turned towards her. “She's quite a character.”

 

“I really don't know how I ever became friends with her,” Theodosia admitted. “But she seems to have stuck.”

 

Philip smiled. “I don't believe I could convince you to dance with me?”

 

Theodosia's face fell ever so slightly. “I don't think it would be appropriate, especially in front of all these people...”

 

Philip nodded. “I understand.”

 

Theodosia bit her lip. She wanted, in that moment, nothing more than to have Philip spin her across the dance floor. She knew once it was over, however, there would be more than enough people to send the story back to her father.

 

She didn't even want to think of what would happen then.

 

She didn't know what would happen then. Her father was always so calm and collected. Yet the anger than burned just behind his eyes when someone mentioned Hamilton was enough to haunt Theodosia's nightmares for years.

 

Philip ran his hand over his hair again, craning his neck towards the ceiling. He paused, frozen with his eyes glued above him for a moment before he whispered, “Oh.”

 

“What?” Theodosia asked. Her eyes followed Philip's until they landed on a small sprig of greenery hanging from the ceiling with a bright red bow holding it together.

 

“Mistletoe,” Theodosia whispered. Her face burned bright red, her heart beat completely stopped.

 

Philip was blushing just as deeply, his thoughts just as frantic. He pulled his eyes from the mistletoe, and looked at Theodosia, her face panicked.

 

They stood awkwardly for a moment before Theodosia said, “Well, obviously we aren't going to-”

 

“Right, right,” Philip said. Theodosia took a broad step to the side, so she no longer stood beneath the mistletoe. Philip did the same.

 

There was a horrible minute of silence. Theodosia's face continued to burn with heat, nervously fiddling with the fabric of her skirt. Philip frantically tried to find another topic of conversation, running his hands over his hair over and over again.

 

The song ended, and they were both grateful for the chance to do something with their hands as they clapped. Philip felt a burst of courage as the next song started.

 

“Would you show me around the house a bit?” He asked.

 

Theodosia looked slightly surprised, but it dissolved into a smile. “Of course.”

 

They slipped out of the ballroom unnoticed. The halls of the house were empty, and surprisingly dark, nothing but dim candles here and there to bring light. Their footsteps echoed through the house, the music from the ballroom sounding surprisingly distant.

 

“I don't know most of the house,” Theodosia admitted. “This is his office...” She paused before opening the door, revealing a small room with nothing but a desk, 2 chairs, and a window overlooking a garden. “This is really just where he writes letters, from what I gather.”

 

“Rather bare,” Philip noted.

 

“He's not a man for embellishments.”

 

The room after that was where he taught his students. It was similar to his office, but larger, with a larger table clearly meant for multiple people.

 

“I've spent quite a bit of time in here,” Theodosia admitted. “I find it rather comforting. Homey, almost.”

 

The next room she showed him was his personal library.

 

“He has a personal library?” Philip asked.

 

Theodosia nodded. “It's why he keeps so few books in the other rooms.”

 

His library wasn't large, but it was larger than Philip's father's. Books lined the walls from ceiling to floor, each one put away with taste and care.

 

“It's very nice...” Philip said, almost taking a step inside. He stopped himself before he did, pulling himself back into the hall.

 

“I wouldn't want to disturb anything,” He explained to Theodosia. Theodosia laughed in amusement, but wasn't rude about it.

 

“And this is his piano room,” Theodosia said, pushing open the last door in the hall.

 

Philip glanced into the room. It contained nothing but a grand piano, polished to perfection, it's top glinting black in the pale moonlight. It sat in the middle of the room, almost daunting, almost begging for someone to play it.

 

“My,” Philip whispered. “Mr. Ericson must have quite a salary.”

 

“That's not very polite, Philip,” Theodosia said. “But yes, he has family money.”

 

“Have I told you that I play piano?”

 

“Really?”

 

“Not much. And I haven't practiced in ages...” He looked down at his hands. “I'm probably pretty rusty.”

 

“I'd love to here you play,” Theodosia said.

 

“I'd love to play for you,” Philip said, smiling down on Theodosia. The moonlight made her eyes shine as she gazed up at him. “But perhaps now isn't the best time.”

 

Theodosia sighed in fake disappointment. “Perhaps.”

 

“Anything else to show me?”

 

“Only the upstairs- and I've never been there.”

 

“What's this?” Philip asked, approaching the glass double doors at the end of the hall.

 

“Oh, that leads out to the garden,” Theodosia said.

 

Philip smiled, pressing a hand against the glass. “Marvelous,” He whispered.

 

Theodosia watched from a couple steps back as he looked out at the garden. “Do you like flowers?”

 

“My mother's rather keen on gardening- my sister as well. So I guess I've learned to appreciate a beautiful arrangement when I see one.”

 

Philip's hand moved from the glass to the handle, throwing open the door.

 

“What are you doing?” Theodosia asked, scrambling to catch him as he bolted out the door.

 

“What, is this off limits?” Philip asked.

 

“It could be!” Theodosia insisted.

 

“I doubt it,” Philip said, taking another step into the inky black night.

 

“What happened to not wanting to disturb anything?” Theodosia asked from the doorway, one hand holding onto the doorfraim.

 

“That was for a library. A garden is completely different.”

 

He held out his hand to her, beckoning her into the open air. “Come on, Theo.”

 

Theodosia bit her lip. “It's winter, Philip. We'll freeze.”

 

Philip smiled, and in two large strides, closed the gap between them. “I'll keep you warm,” He said, his hand wrapping around Theodosia's waist. She took a sharp intake of air, but lost her grip on the doorway, allowing Philip to guide her into the garden.

 

“See?” He whispered. His mouth was an inch from her ear, and sent a shiver down Theodosia's spine. “It's fine.”

 

Theodosia let her shoulders relax, but remained all too aware of her heart beat pounding through her temples, and Philip's hand, which remain on her waist. She knew she should pull away- it was _incredibly_ inappropriate- but her senses danced at his touch. She let him keep holding her close to him as they walked through the garden.

 

Philip was also incredibly aware of his hand on Theodosia, and the fact that she was almost pushed up against him. He could feel the heat radiating off her, and it made him feel the butterflies fluttering to life in his chest. His cheeks grew warm, but he was pretty sure he could say it was because of the cold if she asked.

 

Not that she would. She was a lady. Ladies didn't bring up that kind of thing.

 

They walked the length of the house, nothing but the sound of their shoes in the grass. The moonlight illuminated the garden enough to vaguely see what was around them, but Philip payed more attention to how it caught in the folds of Theodosia's dress, her hair, her eyelashes, making her eyes shimmer and shine. Philip found himself filled with the almost overwhelming desire to kiss her, making his cheeks turn from warm to raging.

 

“It's a beautiful garden,” Philip whispered.

 

“Indeed,” Theodosia whispered back.

 

“Are you cold?”

 

“No.”

 

They reached the windows looking into the ballroom. Theodosia stiffened for a second, worried that someone would look out and see them, before remembering that there were almost no windows in the ballroom that looked out at the garden, and any that did would be impossible to look through over the reflection of the lights. The sound of clapping drifted through the walls, quickly replaced with a new song.

 

“Would you care to dance?” Philip asked. “It would help keep us warm.”

 

“Philip-” Theodosia started.

 

“There's no one here who can see us. Know one would know.”

 

Theodosia gnawed on her lip. A beat passed.

 

“Alright,” She whispered.

 

Philip removed his hand from Theodosia's waist, exposing her more thoroughly to the cold. A shiver ran through her, sending a ripple down her spine. She stood, facing Philip, as he bowed in front of her, holding out his hand.

 

“May I have this dance?”

 

Theodosia almost laughed, but instead bowed her head in a small curtsy. “I would be honored.”

 

Philip stood up straight, and stepped towards Theodosia. The truth was he was an awful dancer, but he had forgotten that fact up until the moment when he was stepping towards her. Their hands met awkwardly, elbows clanking against each other. Philip felt himself blush, but Theodosia just laughed.

 

“I see you don't get much practice off at school,” She said.

 

“We don't have many ladies to practice with.”

 

Theodosia smiled at him as he began the steps. It was a simple waltz, backwards, forwards, spin out, spin in, twirl a couple times, so on. But Philip was nervous, and kept missing beats. Theodosia laughed again in the middle of a spin, and pulled him slightly closer when they met again.

 

“Would you mind if I lead for a while?” She asked.

 

Philip swallowed, and nodded. He looked down at her in awe as her feet expertly worked their way from one step to the next, stepping out for spins, twirling on her toes.

 

“You're good at this,” Philip said.

 

“I'm actually awful, you just happen to be worse.” Theodosia flashed him a smile as her arms wrapped around him once again.

 

“The next one is a dip,” She said, spinning away from Philip again.

 

Philip nodded, and when the time came, wrapped one arm around Theodosia's waist and grabbed her hand, leaning over her as her torso arched back.

 

Then he was frozen, trapped in Theodosia's eyes. She was staring back at him, her lips parted ever so slightly. She looked like a goddess, and once again, Philip was filled with the urge to close the few inches between their lips and kiss her.

 

She spoke before he could.

 

“Now you bring me back up, Philip,” She said gently.

 

“Right,” Philip said, and in clunky movements, he brought Theodosia back to her feet.

 

She grinned, and the dance continued, Philip gripping Theodosia's hand.

 

“You're really good at this, Theo,” He whispered.

 

“Thank you,” She whispered back. Her eyes traced his face, darting from his eyes to his nose to his lips, which were tinted pink by the cold.

 

The song ended, and they slowly came to a stop, like a wind up tow running out of power. They ended with Philip's arms wrapping around Theodosia's waist, her's around his neck. The applause echoed around them, before the next song started.

 

They didn't start dancing again. They were caught in each other's eyes- Philip's light and striking, gleaming with fear and excitement, Theodosia's dark and deep, filled with confusion and panic.

 

Philip was the first to pull his eyes away. “It's snowing,” He whispered, looking above him. His arms where still around Theodosia, holding her slightly closer.

 

Theodosia tore her gaze from Philip to see he was right- fat snow flakes were lazily drifting from the sky. She swallowed, and pushed herself off Philip.

 

“I'm sorry,” She whispered. “I… we shouldn't have done that.”

 

“Why not?” Philip asked.

 

“I'd rather not create anything in this position, Philip,” Theodosia said. “My father- goodness, I don't even want to imagine what would happen if he- if your-”

 

Philip looked at Theodosia with sadness. “I know,” He whispered. “I'm sorry. I'm being stupid.”

 

Theodosia looked to the ground. “I just don't know what I would do. What _we_ would do.”

 

Philip nodded, and took a step closer. “I understand. I… I have the same concern.”

 

Theodosia looked up at him. Her eyes watered, making them gleam even more than before. “I'm sorry.”

 

“It's ok,” Philip said, starting towards her. Theodosia took a step away.

 

“We can't do this, Philip,” She said, her voice barely audible.

 

Philip stood back, feeling as if there was a hairline crack working it's way over his heart.

 

“How about this,” He said. “We're friends, Theo. We are friends, right?”

 

Theodosia mustered a smile. “Well, I do call you Phillipa.”

 

Philip smiled back. “Exactly. Why complicate things.”

 

“So friends?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“My father won't be much happier to hear we're friends...”

 

“I assume it would be better than telling him we're-” Philip stopped himself, not sure what words to use next.

 

“Alright,” Theodosia said. “You're my friend, then.”

 

“Friend,” Philip repeated.

 

Theodosia smiled, quickly wiping at her eyes. “Let's go inside. Martha must be frantic looking for me.”

 

Philip held out his arm to Theodosia, which she took as they walked back over the now frosted snow.

 

Friend. Theodosia was a friend.

 

A friend he still desperately wanted to kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *gets the Christmasy chapter up the DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS*
> 
> Wowie I wasn't meaning for this chapter to be as long as it is, but sometimes things happen and you just have to go with it.


	7. Chapter 7

_Dear Phillipa,_

 

_It was lovely to see you again over Christmas. I hope you had a happy one, and a joyous new year- Happy 1799! I received a gold embellished quill for from my father, so expect more letters._

 

_You seem to be Martha's new favorite subject. I can't count the number of times she brought you up- to be quite frank, I think she may be keen on you. I'd keep an eye out for her the next time you're in town, for I know she would love to see you._

 

_I've finished the book. It was excellent. I do hope you'll hurry on with your French studies so we might discuss it- Mr. Ericson is a wonderful conversationalist, but he speaks so much like… a teacher, I suppose. I'd rather discuss it with one of my peers._

 

_You may have heard of it already, but it seems our fathers have gotten in another scuffle, of sorts. A fight broke out in town the other day, and indeed, it was of the Hamilton and Burr households once again. I believe it started verbally. Then your father took out his fists._

 

_I'm sorry, that wasn't a very pleasant topic of conversation, and I'm sure you've already heard of it from your family. Though, if you have the chance, please tell you father that I, on behalf of my household, apologize for his black eye._

 

_On a happier subject, I've found a way to repay you for the book. Inclosed in the package, you'll find a scarf- I knitted it myself. The snow is absolutely lovely, but I'm afraid that it leaves little to be done outdoors, which means I'm trapped inside with nothing but my studies and my knitting needles to keep me company._

 

_I dearly await your response. You have yet to tell me of your plan to “bridge our families,” though after our father's fight I doubt it will be happening anytime soon._

 

_Yours,_

 

_Theodosia Burr_

 

_\- - - -_

 

_My Dearest Theo,_

 

_I must start by thanking you very dearly for the scarf- I've worn it everyday since receiving it. I'm not sure how you knew green is my best color, but I must say, I look rather dashing in it._

 

_I too enjoyed seeing you over Christmas. New Years was wonderful- though I did have a friend drink a little too much and lose his lunch over a lady's ballgown. I'm glad to hear of your new quill, but I must correct you- the gift was received from Saint Nick, not your father._

 

_I'm rather flattered to here of the news with Martha- though not surprised, I do have a history of charming women. I'll make sure to find her in my next visit, though I fear it won't be until April. If you sent her address, I'd be sure to write her a letter._

 

_I'm afraid my studies are going too slowly for me to read the book, but I promise to make it a top priority. Nothing but French homework from now on- though my father says I must steer away from it, seeing as he now seems to have something against the French and everything they stand for._

 

_I hadn't heard of the fight, though I can't say I'm surprised. I'll make sure to send my father your condolences._

 

_I'm afraid my plan to bridge our two families (it does not need quotations) may not work at the moment. Perhaps if we wait for things to cool down, then we could attempt it again._

 

_Yours, now and forever,_

 

_Phillipa Hamilton_

 

_\- - - - -_

 

_Dear Philip,_

 

_Have you heard of the fight that Father and Mr. Burr got into? It's all Father talks about. He has a black eye- I think that John is secretly scared to look at him. Father seems to be on the brink of insanity, working day and night, never leaving his study, not even for dinner._

 

_I think Mother's as mad with Father as he is with Mr. Burr. She won't stop talking about the fight either- though she claims that Father is the one who spoke out of turn, and went to unnecessary measures. She's in a constant fit, and yells at the little ones more easily. Aunt Angelica tries to sooth her, and has almost taken over as the role of our mother at this point, which I must admit, is strange. Mother's both angry that Father won't leave his office, and boiling with rage whenever she's sees him out and about (though that is rare). Aunt Peggy has gone home, and without her to make chit chat with, the house feels incredibly empty._

 

_I do wish you were here. You're the only decent person in the house 95% of the time. The children are bothers, I've already expressed my exasperation with the adults. I'm rather jealous, being able to hide away at school for months on end._

 

_Theodosia Burr stopped by our house the other day, to drop off a cake and give her “condolences.” I swear, Philip, she fancies you. She asked about you twice, and blushed both times. It's very irritating. I'm going to need you to give her a black eye and end this whole affair once and for all- before I do myself._

 

 _She mentioned that you two have been writing letters. If you're leading her on, I swear, I will give_ you _a black eye._

 

_I miss you. Life is dull. Please write back with some fantastical tale to keep me busy._

 

_Your Sister,_

 

_Angelica Hamilton._

 

_\- - - - -_

 

_Dear Angelica,_

 

_I must admit that I'm glad I'm not there to witness Mother and Pop's rage. I'm sure it's brutal, and I'm also sure you do a great job of taking it._

 

_I am aware that I'm the only decent person in the house, but thank you for the ego boost._

 

_I can assure you that Theodosia Burr does not fancy me, and that you're reading far too deeply into it. But I will admit that we have become friends. I'm trying to bring our families together- so we can put an end to black eyes once and for all- and this may be the first step._

 

_Your life would be less dull if you made some friends. Perhaps Theodosia. I'm sure she'd love to spend more time with you._

 

_Give my love to our parents and Aunt Angelica._

 

_Your Brother,_

 

_Philip_

 

_\- - - - -_

 

_Dear Phillipa,_

 

_I must keep this letter quick, for, I'm afraid I have barely any time for writing tonight (we have company for dinner) and though I wish I could make this longer, I know I can't put off writing to you another moment._

 

_Martha's address is 64 Church Lane- though I must warn you she's getting other suitors, so if you wish to act, you must act fast._

 

_Goodness, I miss you. It seems all company is now inadequate compared to yours- though you never were good company to start with (pardon my rudeness.)_

 

_I believe it's quite inappropriate to share this, but I fear I have no one else to speak of it with- Martha is my only friend, you see, and she'd never let me live this down; I have barely slept the past week, for thoughts of you. I don't know how many times I've read your letters, but I nearly have them memorized. I worry of you. I wonder of you. I find myself lost in the memory of you features- and I'm saying too much at this point, so I digress._

 

 _Perhaps I shouldn't be sharing this with you, but I'm_ afraid _my dear Philip. I'm not sure what to be doing with these feelings._

 

_So I'd like to be distracted. Unless you have a cure for me, then please, entertain me, bewilder me, distract me from this hell I've seemed to have entered._

 

_Until I see you again, I will rely only on your letters as I rely on air._

 

_I wonder now if I should send this. I believe I must, since I'll have no time to write another._

 

_Yours,_

 

_Theodosia_

 

_\- - - - -_

 

_Dearest Theo,_

 

_I'm afraid I don't have a cure for your condition- and I must apologize deeply for it. I can sympathize, you see, since I seem to have come down with whatever this illness is, only my thoughts are filled with you._

 

_I've tried many ways to distract myself- reading, playing piano, writing poetry, sticking to my studies. I seem to find myself drawn to your letters time and time again._

 

_I'm afraid I have nothing but my measly words to distract you with, and still no stories to use them for. It's been an incredibly dull winter here at school, filled with mostly longing to get back home, to see my family, to see you._

 

_I do hope these feelings don't breach the bonds of our friendship._

 

_I desperately await your response._

 

_Yours, now and always,_

 

_Phillipa._

 

_\- - - - -_

 

_Dear Mr. Hamilton,_

 

_I was a bit surprised at your letter. It was quite… upfront, though I do like when people are straight with me. So, I will be equally upfront with you; I do not fancy you, though I do think you have a wonder of a face. I do, however, think my darling friend Theodosia fancies you, and is very deep denial. Speaking of you to her is always fun, not only to see her blush, but to try and prod her towards you, so that maybe you can become the wonderful paring I know you'd be._

 

_I am aware of your predicament, with your families. But I can tell how much she thinks of you- and from the way I saw you looking at her at the past ball, you think of her rather fondly as well. She will never come to this conclusion on her own, so I must push her on a little._

 

_Fell no need to respond, unless you need advice on courting her._

 

_I wish you the best, and hope you're having a wonderful year at school._

 

_Yours,_

 

_Martha Seabury_

 

_\- - - - -_

 

_Dear Phillipa,_

 

 _You did_ not _tell me you were a poet. This solves my problem! I demand you send me some of your poetry immediately, or otherwise I might fall truly ill and die in my stockings. The only other cure would be to hear you play the piano, but since you cannot send that in an envelope, I'm afraid it will have to be poetry._

 

_I'm sorry for the length of this letter, but I'm afraid that this is all I have to say to you at the moment. I will respond once you send your poetry._

 

_Yours,_

 

_Theodosia Burr_

 

_\- - - - -_

 

_My Dearest Theo,_

 

_Clearly, you are not a poet. Because any poet would understand, that sharing your poetry is an impossible task, and I will therefor drop the subject._

 

_In other news, I will be returning home soon- just next month (can you believe it's already March? I swear, New Years was last week!) and I hope to see you then. Maybe then we can finally rid ourselves of whatever disease is plaguing us._

 

_Yours, now and always,_

 

_Phillipa._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've forgotten how to write anything but letters.


	8. Chapter 8

“Theodosia?” Her father called from his office.

 

“Yes, Father?” Theodosia asked, stopping in her tracks. She peered back into his office to see her father at his desk, looking down at a piece of parchment with both confusion and amusement.

 

“You seem to have a suitor.”

 

“What?” Theodosia asked, stepping through the doorway. “What do you mean?”

 

“A young man has sent me a request to meet me...” Her father's eyes scanned the paper. “…Over the matter of your hand in marriage...”

 

Theodosia's stomach clenched, and she reached up to grab at one of her curls- she had a horrible habit of twirling her hair, which had been much worse in the past couple of months.

 

One name darted across her mind.

 

_Philip?_

 

“R-Really?” She stammered.

 

“Indeed...”

 

 _No,_ She thought. _He'd never be so foolish._

 

“Who is it?” Theodosia's tongue had turned to sandpaper.

 

“Joseph Alston.”

 

Theodosia almost let out a sigh of relief.

 

“You wouldn't recognize that name,” Her father asked, looking up from the paper. “Would you?”

 

“Rings a bell,” Theodosia said. “I've probably met him at a ball or two.”

 

“Do you have any interest in marrying him?”

 

“Not particularly.”

 

“He seems very taken with you...”

 

“If you think I should meet with him, I will.”

 

“No, you're still young enough to keep you options open.” Her father folded the letter. “Besides, if he really wished to marry you, he'll wait. You must be willing to wait for what you love.”

 

“Awfully poetic of you, Father.”

 

Her father's eyes gleamed with a hint of sadness. “Perhaps.”

 

Theodosia swallowed. “I was just about to head into town.”

 

“Have a good time,” Her father said, turning back down to his work, clearly ending the conversation.

 

\- - - - -

 

“Is this seat taken?”

 

Theodosia looked up from her knitting to see Angelica standing before her. She wore a mixture of irritation, nerves, and shame. She wasn't wearing a hat, causing her chestnut curls to fly in a mess around her head, her hands stuffed into a muffler. She hadn't bothered taking off her coat when she came into the pub, and it was dusted in snow. She refused to make eye contact with Theodosia.

 

“No, take a seat, please.” Theodosia gestured to the chair on the other side of her small table. Angelica sat down, crossing her arms like a toddler.

 

“It's so nice to see you,” Theodosia said. “Would you like something to drink? Tea? Oh, they have excellent hot chocolate here. I'll call over a waitress and get you some.”

 

“Alright,” Angelica mumbled, looking down at Theodosia's cup and saucer.

 

Theodosia ordered, while Angelica glanced around the room, glaring at everything her eyes landed on. It made Theodosia want to wring her neck, but she controlled herself, keeping a hold on her dazzling smile.

 

“How have you been doing?” Theodosia asked.

 

“Fine.” Angelica looked down at her nails.

 

“Your family's been well?”

 

Angelica nodded.

 

Theodosia's eye twitched in irritation. She picked up her knitting again. “How's your brother been?”

 

“Fine.”

 

“Is he enjoying school?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Theodosia muffled a sigh. “Angelica?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“At the risk of sounding rude, is there a reason why you've requested to sit with me?”

 

Angelica sighed, her eyes rolling to the ceiling. “I knew this was a stupid idea,” She grumbled.

 

“Pardon?”

 

“I'm sorry for bothering you,” Angelica said, starting to leave.

 

“Wait, Angelica.”

 

Theodosia stood, reaching across the table. She grabbed Angelica's arm, and immediately felt her stiffen as if she'd seen a ghost.

 

“Get off me!” Angelica cried, ripping her arm out of Theodosia's grasp.

 

The chatter in the pub around them stopped, eyes suddenly focused on the girls. Angelica's face grew red, as she tried to duck away from their eyes. Theodosia flashed a sheepish smile.

 

“Sorry to disturb you, we can get a little out of hand sometimes.” Theodosia added a nervous laugh to the end, and the pub seemed satisfied, going back to their conversations.

 

“Sit,” Theodosia hissed to Angelica, taking her seat once again and picking up her knitting. Angelica glanced around nervously before obeying.

 

“You Hamiltons seem to have an awful habit of getting everyone to stare at you and then force me to talk you out of it,” Theodosia grumbled, picking up her knitting.

 

“Now,” Theodosia said. “To quote you, why would you be talking to me?”

 

Angelica looked down sheepishly. “I… I was just...” She took a deep breath. “My brother thought it would be good for me to… try to make some friends.”

 

Theodosia almost snorted. “And I was your first pick?”

 

“I've already tried with every other girl in town. They don't like me, never have.”

 

“I can see why,” Theodosia muttered, looking down at her knitting.

 

Angelica bristled with rage, her hair practically standing on end. “This is why I knew this was a horrible idea!”

 

“Keep your voice down,” Theodosia said, shooting Angelica a disapproving look. “Goodness, they really don't teach you children manners, now do they?”

 

Angelica glared at her.

 

Theodosia sighed, feeling a pang of pity in her chest. “Angelica, perhaps the reason the young ladies don't like talking to you is because you aren't the best conversationalist.”

 

“I am a _fine_ conversationalist!”

 

Theodosia pursed her lips. “It's not your fault, Angelica. These skills are taught from us at a young age, and from what I see, your parents didn't do a great job with you.”

 

“How _dare-_ ”

 

“I'm merely joking!” Theodosia laughed. “If that were true your brother wouldn't be the conversationalist he is. _Goodness_ , you are sensitive.”

 

Angelica's brow furrowed. “Well, I'm sorry for having opinions.”

 

“And what are those?”

 

“That your family is insufferable, and talking to you was an awful decision on my part..”

 

Theodosia sighed, setting down her knitting. “Do you really have no friends?”

 

Angelica shook her head. “I've never had a group of friends before… the closest friend I have is Philip, really. And with him away at school...”

 

Theodosia looked at Angelica with pity. “That must be lonely.”

 

Angelica crossed her arms.

 

“Well,” Theodosia said, looking back to her knitting. “The first step to making friends is stopping with all those awful one word answers. It's impossible to make conversation with someone who refuses to complete a full sentence.”

 

Angelic a huffed.

 

“Let's give it a try, ok?”

 

Angelica didn't respond.

 

“Angelica, how is your family doing?”

 

Theodosia watched Angelica hopefully. She sighed, and said with the glare still sitting on her face, “My family is doing lovely, thank you so much for asking.”

 

“Alright...” Theodosia swallowed. “No lets try to smile while we speak.”

 

“Smiling is so _tiring,_ ” Angelica whined.

 

“Smiling is uplifting, and enjoyable, and the most important skill when it comes to charming an acquaintance.”

 

“This is why our fathers hate each other,” Angelica grumbled.

 

Theodosia ignored her. “Lets try, ok? Show me your smile.”

 

Angelica sighed, before baring her teeth.

 

“Ok...” Theodosia cringed slightly. “Try to make it show more in your eyes. And don't… _curl_ your lips upwards so much.”

 

Angelica adjusted her face.

 

“Better.”

 

Angelica dropped the smile. “It hurts my cheeks.”

 

Theodosia laughed. “Oh, I know. You'll get used to baring through it.”

 

Angelica wrinkled her nose.

 

“Oh, here comes the waitress with your hot chocolate. When she reaches us, _smile_ , and say thank you.”

 

Angelica groaned, but as the waitress approached, slapped on a smile.

 

“Thank you,” She said, sounding like she was being held at gunpoint.

 

“Good...” Theodosia said as the waitress left. “Well, it's a start.”

 

Angelica glared at her hot chocolate.

 

“Want to try the conversation again?” Theodosia asked.

 

“Not particularly.”

 

“Angelica, how lovely to see you,” Theodosia said. “How is your family doing?”

 

“My family's doing well, thank you for asking. How's your father?”

 

Theodosia ignored the sarcasm in her voice. “Very well, thank you. He's rather busy with work, but you know how politics are these days.”

 

Angelica snorted. Theodosia's smile snapped away to shoot her a glare. Angelica recoiled in fear, but as quickly as it disappeared, Theodosia's smile returned at full force.

 

“How did you do-” Angelica started.

 

“Hush,” Theodosia commanded. “Are you still continuing with your studies?”

 

Angelica shook her head.

 

“Full sentences, Angelica.”

 

Angelica's nose wrinkled, but she smiled through it. “No, I'm afraid I ended my studies two years ago.”

 

“And you have no interest in taking them up again?”

 

Angelica shook her head. Theodosia stifled a sigh.

 

“Now ask me a question,” Theodosia whispered.

 

Angelica looked around nervously before her eyes landed on Theodosia's hands, still flying with the knitting needles.

 

“What are you working on?”

 

Theodosia looked down at her knitting. “A scarf. I'm just a few rows away from being finished. Though, with good fortune, it'll be warm enough in a couple weeks to not need one.” Theodosia forced a laugh. “But, knowing how New York winters are, we shouldn't be so lucky.”

 

“How do you _do_ that?” Angelica asked, letting her smile fall.

 

“You mean talk?”

 

“ _Converse_. It's so draining.”

 

“It's a skill, Angelica.” Theodosia pulled a pare of sheers from her bag, snipping the yarn free. Her fingers flew as she tied off the scarf's end. “A skill you can develop yourself. I must say, I am a little surprised your parents didn't make you learn it when you were young, but it's never too late.”

 

Theodosia stood, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “Here,” She said, holding out the scarf. “It's freezing outside, you'll surely catch a cold without it.”

 

Angelica looked at the scarf like a dead snake, before reaching out and plucking it from Theodosia's hand.

 

“If you ever wish to meet again, I'd be glad. Please feel free to come by my house any time. Our doors are always open.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm basically Angelica in this chapter.
> 
> (Happy 2016 everyone hope you sin a lot.)


	9. Chapter 9

_My Dearest Theo_

 

_I have a set date now, of when I am to return home. I will be arriving on April 17, and staying through the 25 th. I await it desperately, await seeing the library, await seeing my family, seeing you._

 

_I have written to Martha Seabury, and she doesn't seem as taken with me as you said- though she may just be hiding her blinding feelings for me behind empty words. I'll bet you that's what it is._

 

_Until I do return, you will be the one and only though in my mind._

 

_Yours, now and always,_

 

_Phillipa_

 

_\- - - - -_

 

_Dear Phillipa,_

 

_I am endlessly happy to hear of your return- though it does feel eternities away. I know in reality it's merely a few weeks, but that might as well be centuries. Until then I will wait patiently here, endlessly twiddling my thumbs._

 

_Martha's been receiving suitors as of late- I believe this has something to do with her sudden lack of interest in you. I also received my first request from a suitor just the other day. I was rather flattered, though, knowing nothing of the man, believe I will have to turn him down._

 

 _I won't lie, for a moment I thought you might be the suitor. But, deep down, even then I knew you aren't_ that _dense._

 

 _I have had an idea as for what we might do once you return- since you have yet to tell me of_ your _plan to bridge our families, I've been taking matters into my own hands. I thought I might invite over your family for dinner, while you're visiting- as a way to make amends for the fight, now that everyone's cooled down. My father's never one to turn down a polite dinner, and I'm sure your mother has enough sense to say yes._

 

 _I won't stop thinking of you for a moment- though I do hope you take some time to think of French, seeing as we_ must _discuss this book once you return._

 

_Yours,_

 

_Theodosia Burr_

 

_\- - - - -_

 

_My Dearest Theodosia,_

 

_Indeed, I love your plan. Please send an invitation, if you haven't yet- though I'm sure you have, you always seem a step ahead of me._

 

_Who was this suitor? He must have good taste._

 

_Yours, now and always,_

 

_Phillipa._

 

_\- - - - -_

 

“The Hamiltons?” Her father snorted.

 

Theodosia bit her lip. “Yes, father, the Hamiltons.”

 

“Why?”

 

“To make amends- you did give poor Mr. Hamilton a black eye, you know.”

 

“I do not want to hear you saying 'poor Mr. Hamilton' ever again.” Her father leaned back against his chair, taking a sip of his tea. “I don't know, Theodosia. I doubt it would end well.”

 

“Well, perhaps it would be a good chance for _both_ of you to prove that you are capable of acting like adults, and not children, as you've before shown.”

 

Her father rolled his eyes. “Hamilton started it.”

 

“You aren't doing a very good job of proving me wrong.”

 

Her father sighed. “I can't promise it won't end in a screaming match.”

 

“Fine. But promise you'll _try_ to keep yourself from punching him in the nose again?”

 

“I promise.”

 

\- - - - - -

 

“I still don't see why we have to do this,” Angelica grumbled.

 

“It was very nice of the Burrs to invite us over,” Her mother said, holding John in her lap. The carriage ride was bumpy, and he refused to go inside unless his mother held him.

 

“And olive branch, of sorts,” Aunt Angelica agreed.

 

“I think it's a trap,” Mr. Hamilton said. His arms, like Angelica's were crossed over his chest, and he looked out the window like a defiant toddler.

 

“Then why are you coming?” Their mother snapped.

 

Their father opened his mouth to respond, then thought better of it, and went back to glaring out the window.

 

“I agree with Mother,” Philip said. He was practically bouncing up and down in his seat with excitement to see Theodosia again. He settled down, but couldn't help but toy with a button on his jacket.

 

“Don't do that, Philip,” His mother said, slapping his hand off the button.

 

Angelica shot Philip a look, her eyebrows raised, jaw set. Philip couldn't tell if she wanted to jump out the carriage, or throw him out of it.

 

They came to a stop before she could do either. Their mother and aunt ushered the younger children out of the carriage, and out onto the cobblestone. Philip jumped out, a grin spreading across his face. His sister was right behind him.

 

“Why are you so excited about this?” She hissed.

 

“I just think it will be a good… opportunity.”

 

“I _knew_ you fancied her!” Angelica muttered, as if Philip had confessed.

 

“I fancy no one!” Philip whispered back, but before they could get into an argument, the door to the Burr's home was thrown open, and Theodosia was standing before them. Philip had to stop himself from gasping as he saw her- each time she seemed twice as beautiful as he remembered. Her hair was done in curls again, and she was wearing a lavender dress that danced around her heals. She looked absolutely radiant.

 

“Well if it isn't the Hamiltons!” She said, sporting her dazzling smile. “It's _so_ nice to see all of you again! Pardon my father, he's just finishing up a letter and then he'll be right down.”

 

“I'm sure he his,” Philip's father muttered.

 

“Please, please, come in,” Theodosia said. “We are so happy to have you here! It's been so long. Mrs. Hamilton, I love your dress.”

 

“Thank you, Theodosia,” Philip's mother said, smiling down at the girl.

 

“Mrs. Church,” Theodosia said, bowing her head to Philip's aunt.

 

“Have you two met before?” Philip's mother asked.

 

“Once, in town,” Philip's aunt answered before turning back to Theodosia. “So nice to see you again.”

 

“Who is this?” Theodosia asked, crouching to be at eye level with John.

 

“I'm John Hamilton,” He stated proudly.

 

“It's very nice to meet you John, I'm Theodosia Burr.”

 

John laughed. “You have a funny name.”

 

“John!” His mother scolded.

 

Theodosia didn't seem fazed. “I do?”

 

John nodded.

 

“Well, what if you call me Theo. Just for now, until you get used to my full name. Alright?”

 

“Alright,” John said, before his mother led him into the house.

 

Theodosia greeted James and Alexander similarly. She stood up again to greet Angelica.

 

“Angelica,” She beamed, taking her into a hug. Angelica stiffened, looking as if Theodosia had just cracked an egg over her head.

 

“So good to see you again,” Theodosia said, releasing her.

 

“You as well,” Angelica managed.

 

Theodosia raised her eyebrows. “Three words. Getting better.”

 

Angelica cracked a small smile before rushing into the house.

 

Philip's father was next. He held his shoulders a little higher as she approached him.

 

“Mr. Hamilton,” She said, curtsying. “It's lovely to see you. I must apologize on account of my father, I'm afraid he can't control himself sometimes. Your face seems to have healed nicely, though.”

 

Alexander gave a stiff smile. “Thank you, Theodosia. It's good to see you again as well.”

 

Philip was last. Theodosia bit her lip as she reached him, her cheeks growing warm.

 

“Phillipa,” She said under her breath.

 

“Theo,” He replied, a smile spreading over his face.

 

“Wonderful to see you again.”

 

“And you as well.” Philip grabbed Theodosia's hand, and in an over dramatic bow, planted a kiss on the back of her palm.

 

“Philip!” She laughed, turning red. She pulled her hand away, but was smiling. “So inappropriate,” She muttered.

 

“Since when can my brother call you Theo?” Philip asked as they headed towards the door. “I thought that was my thing.”

 

Theodosia raised her eyebrows. “What's the matter, Philip, worried your 7 year old brother will steal me away?”

 

Philip scoffed. “Hardly.”

 

Theodosia took half a step away from him as they entered the home, and addressed the family as a whole. “Well, if you'd like to come into the parlor, I could get us some-”

 

She stopped, her eyes landing on her father, his steps echoing through the house as he came down the stairs. Despite his smile, his eyes scanned the Hamilton family with disdain. A spark of anger flashed behind his smile as he reached Alexander's gaze. Mr. Hamilton did all but snarl.

 

“Father!” Theodosia said, pushing her way in front of Mr. Hamilton, almost preparing herself to hold him back. “The Hamiltons have arrived!”

 

“So I see,” Her father said, his voice cool, but not unfriendly. “Elizabeth, you look radiant.”

 

Mrs. Hamilton smiled at Theodosia's father. “Thank you, Aaron.”

 

Theodosia snuck a glance at Mr. Hamilton. He was clearly grinding his teeth, his nose wrinkled. Philip placed a hand on his father's shoulder.

 

“Please try to control yourself, Pops,” He whispered.

 

“I can control myself,” His father hissed back.

 

Theodosia's father breezed over the rest of the children before reaching Mr. Hamilton.

 

“Alexander,” He said, his voice sickeningly sweet.

 

“Aaron,” Mr. Hamilton responded, almost spitting on him.

 

“So lovely of you to make it.”

 

“So kind of you to have us.”

 

Theodosia's father gave a last smile before turning away. “Please, come into the parlor, we have refreshments waiting.”

 

\- - - - -

 

Theodosia sat next to Philip at dinner- it hadn't been intensional, she had merely taken her same seat as always, and the seat next to it had been the last seat left for Philip to sit in. Theodosia had specifically wanted to _not_ sit near him, as to not raise any suspicion, and almost broke into a sweat as he sat next to her.. She swallowed, keeping herself seemly.

 

Angelica sat on her other side of Theodosia, and wasn't doing a good job of faking enjoyment. She slouched in her seat, crossing her arms, barely picking at her food. Theodosia tried to ignore it, but gave her a nudge every now and then to remind her to sit up straight. It only made her slouch more.

 

Theodosia made conversation with the Hamilton children- the younger ones were easy enough to talk to, especially John who was practically bouncing in his seat through the whole dinner (“He's very easily excited,” Mrs. Hamilton explained.)

 

“John seems very fond of you,” Philip whispered to her.

 

“I suppose,” Theodosia said, a blush creeping onto her face.

 

Philip lifted his eyebrows and smiled down at her. She almost grinned back, before turning to her dinner.

 

Angelica turned out to be the hardest to make conversation with, not that Theodosia was surprised.

 

“So how have you been?” She asked.

 

Angelica gritted her teeth, seeming to be searching her mind for words. “Fine.” She finally spat out.

 

“Can you answer in more than one word?”

 

Angelica sighed. “My life has been going fine. I've been sitting inside waiting for this blasted snow to melt so I can finally go back to gardening again.”

 

“Oh, Philip mentioned you like gardening.”

 

“Of course he did,” Angelica grumbled, scowling at her potatoes. Theodosia decided to let it drop.

 

Theodosia and Philip exchanged small words between each other as the dinner continued, Theodosia breaking into a smile each time. Philip felt his heart rate start to exhilarate every time she addressed him. It was amazing and terrifying.

 

“All my school friends are quite jealous of the scarf you sent me,” Philip said.

 

“As they should be,” Theodosia said, helping herself to more potatoes. “It's a very well made scarf. I should know.”

 

Philip laughed. “I believe they're also jealous over the fact that I have a beautiful girl sending me well made scarves.”

 

Theodosia bit her lip. “I'm sure you have more than enough beautiful girls off at school to keep you company.”

 

Philip looked as if he wanted to reply, but John called out Theodosia's name before he could.

 

The dinner was going surprisingly well. Theodosia and Philip both knew it was because his father had barely spoken. He sat at one end of the table, Theodosia's father at the other. Though Alexander was clearly trying to stare Aaron down, Aaron was staying above it, making polite conversation with the women and children around the table.

 

“What are you thinking of studying in college, Philip,” He asked halfway into the dinner.

 

Philip looked up from his ham. “Law.”

 

“Ah, good study.”

 

“Following in my father's footsteps,” Philip said, forcing a smile.

 

Mr. Burr merely raised his eyebrows at the comment before going back to his meal.

 

“You don't seem like much of a law major,” Theodosia whispered under her breath as the conversation around them continued.

 

Philip shrugged. “What else would I do?”

 

Theodosia wanted to argue that there were endless other options for him, but before she could, her father was addressing Mr. Hamilton.

 

“So, Alexander,” He said, his voice coiling through the air like a snake. “What work have you been up to?”

 

Mr. Hamilton gripped his knife a little tighter as he continued to cut his piece of meat. “I've been writing essays. A lot of private work lately.”

 

“Hmm.”

 

“Just,” Mr. Hamilton looked physically pained. “Trying to relax off work for a little while.”

 

“Oh really?” Theodosia's father scoffed. “That doesn't sound like you.”

 

“Oh, well, you know Burr,” Mr. Hamilton said, his lips curling upwards like he had tasted spoiled milk. “Every man needs to take a break now and then.”

 

It was Mrs. Hamilton's turn to scoff, though she didn't contribute anything to the conversation.

 

Theodosia bit her lip silently praying that there wouldn't be another fist fight.

 

“Of course,” Theodosia's father said. “It's a hard task, however, when you're a senator. Though, it must be easy for you, without a proper job.”

 

“At least I didn't disregard whatever scrap of morality I had left in order to obtain a senate seat.”

 

The table was silent. Forks were held mid air. Angelica held a sip of water in her mouth, too nervous to swallow. Both families seemed to be collectively holding their breath- except for the two men of the table, who were both breathing through their noses like bulls.

 

“Harsh words, Alexander,” Theodosia's father said, his voice surprisingly calm despite the rage on his face.

 

“I don't say anything you don't deserve.”

 

“Ah,” Her father broke the lock between his and Alexander's eyes, looking back at his plate. “Well, at least I could stay loyal to my wife.”

 

The table shook as Alexander sprang up, his chair flying back. Theodosia jumped, startled, knocking her glass over the table cloth. Philip jumped as well, though he was standing to calm his father.

 

“Don't you _dare-_ ” Mr. Hamilton started before Philip cut in.

 

“Pops,” He said, holding his hands up in protest and self defense. “Come on, don't do this.”

 

Mr. Hamilton's words dried up in his mouth, though the rage remained on his face. After a moment, he turned, walking away from the table.

 

“We're going home, children,” he said.

 

“But-” John started.

 

“No, we are not,” Mrs. Hamilton said, standing.

 

Mr. Hamilton turned, his eyes landing on his wife. She stood tall, her jaw set, shoulders back, still clutching her fork in one hand.

 

“Please, Eliza,” He said, the anger in his eyes diluted with sadness. Theodosia felt a twinge of pity in her stomach.

 

“We are going to finish our meal like _good company_ ,” Mrs. Hamilton said, her voice cutting through the room like ice. “I suggest you stay as well. If you must leave, you can walk, and leave us the carriage.”

 

Alexander tore his gaze from his wife to look around the room- at his children, his sister in law, Theodosia's father- before turning and storming from the room.

 

Mrs. Hamilton's sister stood up, placing a hand on Eliza's shoulder. Mrs. Hamilton took a moment to compose herself before turning back to the table, smiling weakly.

 

“I'm so sorry about that,” She said, her sister guiding her back to her seat. “Alexander can get a little out of hand sometimes.”

 

\- - - - -

 

The Hamilton family left an hour later, after dinner was cleared. Theodosia asked them to stay for dessert, but Mrs. Hamilton politely declined, saying that the little one's needed to be put to bed.

 

“I really am sorry for my husband,” She said to Theodosia, her eyes filled with sorrow. “He… is an impulsive man, to say the least. I do hope it didn't ruin what was otherwise, a truly lovely dinner.”

 

“Of course not,” Theodosia said. “It was wonderful to have you. I do hope we can do this again soon, though...” She paused, looking around the parlor. “Perhaps without the men next time?”

 

Mrs. Hamilton laughed, her voice rising above them like a song. “That sounds like a wonderful idea, Theodosia. Thank you so much for inviting us.”

 

“Thank you so much for coming.”

 

John insisted on getting a hug from Theodosia, wrapping his arms around her neck and legs around her waist. “Bye Theo,” He whispered to her before she let him down.

 

“It was lovely to see you,” Theodosia said, curtsying to Angelica.

 

Angelica wrinkled her nose. “Must I curtsy as well?”

 

Theodosia wasn't sure to laugh or scold her. “In any other company, yes, but I'll let you off the hook this once.”

 

Once again, she was saying goodbye to Philip last. She reached, him, feeling a small tug of sadness at her heart. She opened her mouth to say her goodbyes.

 

“Shh,” Philip said. Theodosia paused, looking up at him with confusion, her mouth still open.

 

“Excu-” She started, but Philip shushed her again.

 

“This isn't goodbye,” He said. Then he cringed. “Oh, that sounded quite less cliché in my mind.”

 

Theodosia almost laughed, but Philip shushed her again. “My point is, this isn't where we're saying goodbye to each other tonight.”

 

“What do you me-”

 

Philip pressed a piece of parchment into Theodosia's hand. She looked down at it in confusion before meeting Philip's gaze again.

 

“Meet me there at midnight. I did the math, it's the exact distance between our two houses.”

 

“Phili-”

 

“Please. I need to speak to you without...” Philip glanced at his family getting into the carriage. “Other company.”

 

Theodosia nodded slowly.

 

“Alright. We aren't saying goodbye.”

 

Theodosia gave another small nod. Philip grinned, then turned and ran to the carriage.

 

“Well, that didn't go as awfully as I worried.”

 

Theodosia jumped as her father came up behind her. She hid the parchment in the folds of her dress, turning to face him.

 

“You're too pessimistic,” She said.

 

Her father laughed. “You have to admit, there was no way that dinner could have gone smoothy.”

 

“Perhaps.”

 

“I'm sorry for losing my temper.”

 

“It was very childish of you to poke at Mr. Hamilton like that.”

 

Her father sighed. “That man… sometimes I just can't take him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any trouble imagining Alexander during this chapter just think of this (ง'̀-'́)ง


	10. Chapter 10

The night sky was blotted inky black as Theodosia trudged along the side of the road. She silently cursed herself for not taking her horse- but it would've been too hard to get her out without waking her father. She had brought a candle, which had almost completely melted down, the wax falling over the metal sides of it's holder and falling into the snow.

 

“Why is there still snow in April?” Theodosia asked her feet as she pulled her coat closer. Her other had was deep inside her pocket along with the piece of parchment Philip had given her, though she had the address memorized.

 

_14 Strawberry Way._

 

It was a very pretty street name, though she had never heard of it before. She deduced that it had to be near farm land- many streets were named after the food grown in the fields besides them, and had set out to find it.

 

She wondered if she would make it there before she froze, her feet and finger tips already numb.

 

She was at farm land by this point- how long had she been walking. No more than an hour, she was sure. She had left at 11:15, hoping she'd make it there before midnight. She prayed she wasn't late. She prayed Philip was still waiting for her.

 

She squinted against the darkness as a large building came into view. It was gigantic, more like a big box than a house. She leaned forwards, pausing in her steps, as a dim light flickered to life in one of the windows.

 

She started sprinting towards the building, deciding that even if it wasn't what she was looking for, maybe there would be someone inside to let her stay the night. She tripped over her steps, but kept going, her candle just barely still burning. She reached one of the walls, resting against it for a moment.

 

She looked at the splintery wooden planks and realized it was a barn. She scoffed, feeling stupid for not putting it together earlier. She started following the wall, looking for an entrance.

 

She found one, two gigantic doors. Painted besides them in purple paint and messy strokes was “14 Strawberry Way.”

 

She felt her heart beat speed as she peered in through the doors. The barn was empty, long gone of any animals- except spiders, Theodosia learned, as one scurried away from her. There were two levels, a light quietly blazing from the top one.

 

“Hello?” Theodosia called a little nervous.

 

There was a bit of scuffling before Philip's head appeared, looking down on Theodosia. “Theo!” He called, and threw himself over the rail.

 

Theodosia couldn't help but let out a tiny squeak of fear as he fell, suddenly filled with fear that he would snap his neck. But, by some miracle, he landed on his feet, and quickly stood up straight, rushing to her.

 

“You must be freezing,” He said, wrapping and arm around her. “Was it too hard to find? I was a little worried it would be too hard to find.”

 

“No, it wasn't hard,” Theodosia said, tempted to settle her head on his shoulder. “Just cold.”

 

Philip smiled a little sheepishly. “I know, weather's atrocious, isn't it? I was going to go out and start looking for you if you were late- I was a little scared you'd get lost in the snow.”

 

“I'm not late?” Theodosia asked, surprised.

 

“5 minutes early,” Philip said, holding up a pocket watch. “I got here early.”

 

Theodosia smiled. Philip suddenly let go of her, like he just had a sudden realization.

 

“Oh, I have lamps,” He said. “I wanted to wait until you got here to light them...” Philip ran to a corner where a giant sack sat. “I also brought food, incase you're hungry. It's not much, but I thought it's better than nothing.”

 

Theodosia watched as Philip pulled out a Philip pulled out a match and lit the first lamp, illuminating his face. He looked cold too, his nose pink, his hair free around his face. He was grinning at Theodosia like a little kid.

 

“Here,” He said, rushing to hand Theodosia the lamp. “I'll place some more around so this place doesn't feel so dark.”

 

“How on earth did you get all of these?” Theodosia asked as Philip pulled two more from the bag.

 

“We have tons at my house. We're some sort of night owl, the Hamiltons.”

 

Theodosia giggled. “Was it hard to sneak out?”

 

“Easy, actually. Just went out the front door. No one looked twice.”

 

“Really?” Theodosia asked.

 

Philip nodded. “Why, was it hard for you?”

 

Theodosia pulled off her hat, letting her curls fly free, a mess from the wind. “Not too bad. I was going to take a horse, but I worried that I would have no where to keep it...” Theodosia looked around the barn, holding in a laugh. “I now see I had nothing to worry of.”

 

Philip smiled sheepishly. “Sorry for not telling you where we were meeting earlier… I'm afraid I only came up with the idea yesterday evening, and my sister would no doubt catch a letter heading to your house in the middle of the day.”

 

“It's fine,” Theodosia said. Philip placed the last lamp in the furthest corner, then turned and headed back to Theodosia. His strides were long, like he couldn't wait to get a close look at her. She felt her stomach turning as he reached her, their toes almost touching.

 

“You look lovely,” He said, taking her free hand. The lamp crackled between them, setting a warm glow over Philip's face.

 

“I'm afraid I'm rather pink from the cold,” Theodosia said, hoping that would cover and blushing she did the rest of the night.

 

“I'm sure I'm much worse,” Philip said, cracking a grin. Theodosia bit her lip.

 

“I hope I don't sound rude,” Theodosia said. “But is there a reason that you've invited me here? I mean, other than the view.”

 

Philip laughed, echoing through the empty space. “I needed to see you again, Theo. I don't know what you've done to me but… everyone else feels so dull compared to you now.”

 

Theodosia didn't know what to say, so she just stared at him, her eyes growing wider. He looked back at her, something in his face softening as he looked down at her. He gently reached out and tucked a curl behind her ear. Theodosia suddenly realized just how close they were to each other, and took a step away, swallowing hard.

 

“I'm very glad to see you as well, Philip,” She said, dusting off her skirt. “I've… missed you. It was lovely to have you for dinner.”

 

Philip cringed as she mentioned it. “I'm sorry for Pops, by the way. He… has a temper on him.”

 

“My father isn't much better,” Theodosia laughed. “He provoked him, to be fair.”

 

“Still, he...” Philip sighed, running his fingers back through his hair. “God, I've just been wishing for the past few months that they would put this silly feud they have going on to rest already. It makes me want to shoot one of them through the head.”

 

“So violent,” Theodosia muttered. Philip sighed again.

 

“I feel the same way,” Theodosia said, taking half a step closer to him. “I've never understood why they hate each other so much. Why our families are supposed to hate each other...”

 

“Do you hate my family?”

 

“No.”

 

“Not even Pops?”

 

“No, not even your father.”

 

“Not even my sister? She can be quite sour at times.”

 

Theodosia giggled. “No, not even your sister.”

 

“How about me? I tend to be an irritation.”

 

“True,” Theodosia said, taking another half step. She had closed the space between them again- and even though she knew it would be a scandal if they were seen, she couldn't make herself pull away from him. She wanted to get lost in his arms, and eyes, and his star sprinkled face.

 

“So do you hate me?” Philip whispered. His lips hovered just inches away from Theodosia's.

 

“I'm afraid not,” Theodosia said. “Besides… you are my friend.”

 

Philip smiled, though his eyes sparkled with sadness. “Would you like to sit?” He asked, stepping away. “There's a spot I cleared up there.” Philip pointed to the second floor of the barn, jutting out of the wall.

 

“Is it safe?”

 

“Perfectly.”

 

Theodosia raised an eyebrow.

 

“Mostly.”

 

Theodosia laughed but walked towards the ladder. “It better not be in hay. Hay isn't half as comfortable as you'd think it to be.”

 

“I promise it isn't in hay.”

 

The spot Philip had cleared turned out to be a bit of floor against a pile of hay- though not on it, so he kept his promise. He had pushed a bit clean, and set up a blanket so that they could look out the giant window before them. 3 lamps glowed around it, illuminating the space. Philip waited for Theodosia, grinning.

 

“My lady,” Philip said, bowing towards the blanket.

 

“Thank you,” Theodosia said, taking a seat. Her heart raced as he sat next to her. “This actually is quite a view...”

 

“I know, right?” Philip asked, looking out at the night before them. The sky was glittering and shining with the stars, almost overcrowding the sky.

 

“Shouldn't there be more clouds?” Theodosia asked.

 

“They cleared out for you,” Philip said.

 

Theodosia snorted, jostling Philip slightly. “Don't talk like that, it's awful.”

 

Philip laughed. “Fine, fine. I guess that means I can't use any of my ingenious lines.”

 

Theodosia gently leaned her head against his shoulder. He smelled like a strange mix of soap and honey. “How are your studies going?”

 

“Always so formal,” Philip said, his voice barely above a whisper. He didn't sound irritated or angry though, just commenting.

 

“My studies are going well,” He said. “My grades in French have improved, seemingly out of no where. My other subjects have started to slip from my grasp.”

 

“Why's that?”

 

“I've been rather occupied thinking about other things...” A smile slipped onto Philip's face. “Though I'd better start sharpening up or King's College will never take me.”

 

Theodosia snorted. “With a father like yours, I think they'll have to take you.”

 

“Lets hope,” Philip laughed.

 

“Do you really want to study law?” Theodosia asked, lifting her head from his shoulder.

 

Philip nodded. “Of course. What else would I study?”

 

Theodosia shrugged. “There are endless options. Literature. Language. History. Writing.”

 

Philip shook his head. “Not for me, Theo. Only disgraces don't follow their political fathers.”

 

“You know you could never be a disgrace,” Theodosia said, almost rolling her eyes.

 

“I very much could be. And the last thing my family needs right now is another disgrace.”

 

Theodosia let the subject drop, resting her head on his shoulder once again.

 

“How are _your_ studies?” Philip asked.

 

“I'm running out of things to learn,” Theodosia said with a grim smile.

 

“You say that like it's a bad thing. Don't you want to know everything?”

 

Theodosia shook her head, pushing herself off Philip once again. His eyes gleamed in the dim light. “Of course not. For starters, no one could ever know everything-”

 

“You know what I mean.”

 

“Yes, but possibly the most amazing thing about the universe is that you can never know everything in it. You can always keep searching for more answers.”

 

“But don't you ever want to stop asking questions?”

 

Theodosia shook her head, her curls falling around her face. “What would be the point? Just live a dull, ignorant life?”

 

Philip laughed. “Some people might call that relaxing.”

 

Theodosia shook her head again, with even more force. “Never.”

 

“Well, if it's true that there are always questions to be answered, why are you running out of things to learn.”

 

Theodosia's shoulders sagged slightly. “I have no one to teach me.”

 

“Mr. Ericson?”

 

“He stops teaching his male students at 18, tops. The fact he's kept a female on this long is completely unheard of. If I were a boy, I'd be heading off to college, but...” Theodosia sighed, tugging on one of her curls. “I think it's clear that won't be an option for me.”

 

“I'm sorry, Theo.”

 

Theodosia looked back at Philip, her eyes wide. “Why?” She laughed. “It's not your fault. It's no one's fault really, I suppose this is just how the world is set up. No use complaining.”

 

But Philip could see the sadness behind her eyes. He bit his bottom lip. “You deserve college much more than I. You'd do something with it.”

 

Theodosia swallowed, adverting her eyes. “No use discussing what can never be,” She said, putting on a smile. “Besides, I'd rather not talk about such an unpleasant subject right now. It's been months since we've been able to talk alone...”

 

“Indeed,” Philip said. Theodosia fell back again, her head on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her slightly closer.

 

“Do you want something to eat?” Philip asked. Theodosia nodded.

 

Philip pulled his bag from the hay, pulling out a loaf of slightly stale bread and cheese, complete with a butter knife. He ripped her off a slice, and carefully shaved off cheese for the topping. He repeated the steps for himself, and placed the remaining food in arms reach.

 

“This is surprisingly good,” Theodosia said.

 

“Really?”

 

“It's probably just my hunger talking,” Theodosia said, laughing.

 

“It certainly isn't as nice as our dinner was,” Philip said, turning to look at her.

 

Theodosia felt her cheeks growing warm. She looked out the window, her eyes drawn to the sky. “The stars are so bright.”

 

“So they are.”

 

“How's your sister been?”

 

“Oh, as good as Angie can be. She mentioned that she saw you.”

 

“Did she say good things?”

 

“Would you like me to lie?”

 

Theodosia snorted. “I thought so.”

 

“I do think she likes you, Theo. It's just her first instinct to be brash.”

 

They were quiet for a moment. Theodosia could hear Philip's heartbeat through his coat. Philip gently ran his fingers over Theodosia's hair- it was the softest thing he had ever felt, like silk, but prettier.

 

“Why did you ask me here, Philip?” Theodosia whispered.

 

“I had to see you. Without our families.”

 

“Why?”

 

Philip was quiet for a moment. “I don't know,” He said finally, his words coming out like they caused him pain. “I just had to. I would burst if I didn't soon.”

 

Theodosia looked out sadly at the night sky. “What's happened to us?” She asked quietly.

 

“Well, I for one have gone completely mad,” Philip said.

 

Theodosia laughed. “I believe I must have too. Why else would I be here?”

 

“Because you wanted to see a friend?” Philip guessed.

 

“Yes,” Theodosia said. “I very dearly wanted to see my friend.”

 

“Theo?”

 

“Phillipa?”

 

“Are you aware of how beautiful you are?”

 

Theodosia laughed. “Well, that was quite to the point. What makes you say that?”

 

“Looking at you.”

 

“You promised you wouldn't use any more of your lines, Philip.”

 

“I'm just wondering how you keep yourself from staring into a mirror all day.”

 

“I wouldn't get much done, now would I?”

 

\- - - - -

 

Neither Philip nor Theodosia had meant to fall asleep in the barn, tangled up in each other's arms, but they must have because it was how they woke. Theodosia woke first, and pushed herself from Philip immediately.

 

“Oh no,” She whispered, her eyes reaching the sun as it crept over the horizon. “Oh, _no_.”

 

“Philip, wake up,” She said, shaking his shoulder. Philip blinked against the sunlight, raising an arm to shield himself.

 

“What is it?” He asked.

 

“It's morning!”

 

“Oh.” It took a moment for the realization to hit Philip. “ _Oh._ ”

 

“I must run,” Theodosia said, pulling on the boots she had kicked off the night before. “I must sprint. Oh god, what will I tell father.”

 

“Theo-”

 

“I might be able to convince him I woke up early and headed out. That might wo-”

 

“Th-”

 

“But I'm wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Father's smarter than that.”

 

“Theo.”

 

Theodosia stopped, turning to look at Philip, her eyes full of panic. “What will I do, Philip?”

 

“It'll be fine. Say you snuck out late to look at the stars, lost track of time, and was forced to find shelter in a stranger's home when the storm hit.”

 

“Storm?”

 

“It rained last night,” Philip said. “Quite awfully too. Lightning and all.”

 

“I slept though it?”

 

“You seem to be quite a heavy sleeper.”

 

Theodosia's face burned red, but she forced herself not to think of it as she went back to lacing her boots. “Yes… that should work.”

 

“It will work, I promise.”

 

“You can't make such a promise.”

 

“But I am.”

 

Theodosia stood up straight. Philip stood too, and looked down at her, his lips parted ever so slightly.

 

“I know that you may never want to do this again- now that you're in this situation.” Philip swallowed. “But I do hope you will. If not this, some other form of seeing each other.”

 

Theodosia felt her anxiety dim for a moment. “Of course,” She said, taking a step closer. “I mean, you're only here another week, right? It would be a shame to waist that time...”

 

Philip grinned. “Really?”

 

Theodosia nodded. “This is a fine spot. I'll bring a horse next time, and remember to leave before the sun rises...”

 

Philip nodded. “When?”

 

“Tomorrow?”

 

“A long time to wait.”

 

“You have no patience,” Theodosia said, a smile playing at her lips.

 

“Well then,” Philip said. “I'll see you tomorrow.”

 

“Tomorrow,” Theodosia said. “Same time?”

 

“Why not?”

 

Theodosia grinned. “I'll see you then, Phillipa.”

 

“I'll count the seconds, my dear Theo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have two tests tomorrow that i haven't studied for I should probably be doing that instead of writing fanfiction about the founding father's children.


	11. Chapter 11

Philip managed to sneak back into his room without any issues- his aunt and a couple of his siblings were already up, but luckily none of them were hanging around the back door. Philip slipped into his room, sighing against the door.

 

He then almost screamed as someone knocked on the other side.

 

“Philip?” Angelica called, her voice full of irritation.

 

“Jesus, Angie,” Philip said, opening the door. Angelica was waiting, her arms crossed, looking up at Philip from under her eyebrows. Philip looked down at her. “You're up early.”

 

“It's almost 8. It's not early.”

 

“For you maybe.”

 

Angelica's scowl deepened.

 

“Goodness, Angelica, you're in a sour mood this morning.”

 

“Where were you last night?”

 

Philip's eyebrows shot up his forehead. “Excuse me?”

 

“You and I both know very well you weren't home. Where were you?”

 

“None of your concern,” Philip said, starting to close the door.

 

“ _Plenty_ my concern, Philip,” Angelica insisted, elbowing herself through the doorway. “I'm your sister.”

 

“That doesn't give you rights to here of every aspect of my life! Do I get no privacy?”

 

Angelica forced herself into the room, and settled onto the Philip's bed. “Not when it has to do with unapproved affairs.”

 

Philip scoffed. “Excuse me?”

 

Angelica wrinkled her nose at him. “You were with that Theodosia girl, weren't you?”

 

“Oh don't say her name like that,” Philip said, sitting at his desk. “She considers you a friend, you know.”

 

Angelica bristled slightly, sitting a little straighter. “Never mind that. The point is she's an insufferable girl who Mother and Father would never approve of. So why must you insist on attempting to court her?”

 

Philip laughed. “Courting? You actually think I'm courting Theodosia Burr?”

 

Angelica was quiet, just scowled out at him.

 

“Angelica, you and I both know that I'm courting no one.”

 

“That doesn't mean you aren't still having an affair with her. Which is even worse, I might mention.”

 

“I have no interest in Theodosia. We're just friends, Angie.”

 

Angelica barked out a laugh. “That's no better, Philip! She's a monster of a girl! You shouldn't want to see her ever!”

 

Philip rolled his eyes. “So overdramatic, Angie. She's a fine girl, just because our parents disagree on some stances doesn't mean that she's suddenly the spawn of the devil.”

 

“She might as well be,” Angelica grumbled.

 

Philip sighed. “You should be kinder to her. She seems to be the only girl in town who's willing to be your friend.”

 

Angelica seemed to be battling offense for a moment, but it was something she already knew herself, so she let it drop, returning to her glare. “I'm not the matter at hand. You are.”

 

“Hmm.”

 

“What did you do last night?”

 

“I just went out for a walk.”

 

“Theodosia was there, wasn't she.”

 

“No, Angelica.”

 

“You're a horrible liar.”

 

Philip felt his cheeks turning pink. “I promise I'm not doing anything unseemly with Miss Theodosia Burr, alright? Now can you please get out of my room, I need to get ready for breakfast.”

 

Angelica bit her lip as she stood, her scowl now hinting at sadness. “You really promise?” She asked.

 

“Of course,” Philip said, his tone growing softer. “You ought to head down, mother will be wanting you for breakfast.”

 

Angelica nodded and left the room.

 

\- - - - -

 

Angelica knew her brother was lying. Anyone with half a brain would know her brother was lying.

 

She didn't like the lies. Philip and Angelica had never kept secrets from each other before.

 

Ever since they were children, ever since Angelica had first noticed boys in her class and Philip had first stolen a kiss- it was when he was 12, and the girl's family had come over to dinner. He kissed her behind the house, and the first person he told was Angelica, not 5 minutes after they left. Angelica had always told herself that she would tell him of her first kiss immediately too, but that couldn't happen until she actually had her first kiss.

 

Growing up, she often felt that her brother was her only friend. As a young lady, she was well aware that her brother was her only friend.

 

It wouldn't bother her if he was only home more often. After he was sent off to school at 14, the two had started to change. They had always had a casual relationships, full of sarcastic remarks and poking fun- that was how Angelica was with everyone. After Philip left she started becoming more genuinely mean, meaning to be rude, hoping to hurt people's feelings. She didn't know why- it terrified her, that she was turning into one of the girls that had turned her nose up at her back in grade school. But she also found people horrible, unable to tolerate them for half the time other's could. The only people she could tolerate was her family.

 

And her only friend was Philip.

 

Philip who was now sneaking out and keeping secrets and courting girls.

 

Courting Theodosia Burr.

 

Angelica had never liked Theodosia. They hadn't seen each other much when they were children, but whenever they did, Angelica's mother was sure to whisper to her, “Why can't you be a bit more like Theodosia? See how she isn't wrinkling her dress? Do you think you can eat as elegantly as her?”

 

Their fathers hating each other was merely a side note in Angelica's mind. But Theodosia was front and center in the long list of girls that Angelica could never seem to be as good as.

 

And now her only friend was sneaking around with her.

 

Angelica would want to start a rumor about it, if it wouldn't ruin Philip in turn. And she had never been the type to spread rumors, only sit quietly and listen to them.

 

She was practically boiling with rage as she reached the kitchen. Her hands were balled into fists, her fingernails digging painfully into her palm. She ignored it, grinding her teeth.

 

“How's Philip doing?” Her mother asked as she entered the dining room. A large plate of eggs and toast sat on the table. Most of the other children had already finished and left, leaving only Alexander sitting in the center of the table, picking at his food. Their father was long gone.

 

“He's just a bit tired,” Angelica said. She was still grinding her teeth, but she knew that siblings covered for each other- it was the first rule, even if she was upset. “He'll be down in a minute.”

 

“He'd better hurry,” Her mother said. “The eggs are getting cold.”

 

“I don't think he'd care much for food now,” Angelica grumbled, slouching into a seat.

 

“Is something wrong, Angelica?” her mother asked, her voice dotted with worry.

 

“No,” Angelica said, helping herself to a helping of eggs. “Nothing at all.”

 

\- - - - -

 

Theodosia was incredibly ashamed of herself.

 

Her entire life she had prided herself on being a well learned, intelligent, ambitious young women who didn't put boys with dumb faces before her studies. She refused to become lightheaded over the thought of a boys bad posture and patronizing smile. She was above all of that.

 

At least she had been.

 

The entire day she had found herself attack by fits of giggles at the thought of something Philip had said to her the night before, feeling her cheeks growing warm at the memory of his touch. It was incredibly irritating, and made it very hard for her to focus on her mathematics, but she couldn't seem to stop. She devised that she had to be under a curse of some sort.

 

Her only condolence was the hope that Philip was acting just as childish.

 

She wanted to send him a letter, have a boy run and send it. Really she wanted to pay him a visit, but she knew that would seem suspicious. Why hadn't she forced him to leave behind a handkerchief or hat so she could run over and return it to him? It seemed so obvious now, she didn't know how she hadn't thought of it when she had the opportunity.

 

She did write him a letter- letters- but she knew she couldn't send any of them. She didn't intend on sending any of them. It would be a foolish move on her part. She just wanted to get him out of her head so she could return to learning Latin.

 

_Dear Philip,_

 

_-_

 

_Dearest Philip,_

 

_-_

 

_My Dearest Philip,_

 

_You will probably be wondering why I have sent you a letter on such regards- or you would be if I intended for you to receive this. The truth is, I'm a little mad at you. More irritated than mad, but a little mad, none the less. I'm sick of you occupying my thoughts. I have much more pressing matters and having you distracting me is not helping. I need to return to my work, yet I have the nerve to dedicate- what has it been now, hours?- to fantasizing over your average-at-best face instead._

 

_That was a lie. I'm sorry, your face is spectacular._

 

_Perhaps I'm not mad at you. This isn't your fault anyways. The only fault is mine._

 

_There are only 10 hours until I get to see you again. I think I might go mad in those ten hours._

 

_You were right, the plan worked, but only because I've never done anything wrong in my life. If my father had any experience with me sneaking out before, he would have surely caught it as a fake, and then I would drag you down with me._

 

_Perhaps I wouldn't. I've spent a lot of time wondering what would happen if he had caught me._

 

_I think I should have kissed you. Or you should have kissed me. Kisses should have occurred, since you have such a wonderful mouth and_

 

_-_

 

_My Dearest Philip,_

 

_I believe I lost my trail of thought with that last letter. I was talking about my anger, yet somehow the topic of your mouth came into my mind, and I'm afraid I had my censor turned off._

 

_The point is I'm angry. I don't know how you got me to go out with you without my father's permission, seeing as it is so against my character. It's not that I wasn't happy to be there with you, I just would have never done it for anyone else- except Martha, perhaps, but even Martha isn't so dense to sneak out at night. And I've known Martha my whole life, so that one at least makes sense._

 

_The point is, I'm mad at you. And I don't know what you've done to me and I demand an explanation._

 

_I hope you feel as silly as I do. Otherwise that will make me feel all the worse- me, being a wreck over my thoughts and fantasies while you're doing just fine with your own life. What have you been doing anyways? It isn't too exciting around here._

 

_You're probably at the library. I wonder if I might head down to see if I'll run into you…_

 

_I must get a hold of myself. I would have never thrown off my studies to pursue a boy a month ago. Once again, I'm very upset with you._

 

_I don't know why I'm even writing these. It's a silly waist of time. I will stop now._

 

_-_

 

_My Dearest Philip,_

 

_I know I said I was done writing, but I'm too angry to stop now._

 

_Why did you ask me there? Why do you feel the need to talk to me so dearly? Why did you have to spread that need to me as well?_

 

_I hope you explain yourself tonight. I hope you get me to snap out of all of this. Maybe I can snap you out of whatever it is that's wrong with you, and that will snap me out of whatever it is that's wrong with me._

 

_Maybe you'll kiss me. I don't know why I've been imagining you kissing me in that barn, but I have. Quite a bit._

 

_This is quite embarrassing. I'll actually stop now._

 

\- - - - -

 

Philip was writing poetry.

 

And he wasn't exactly writing it well. He was trying to drown himself in the ink that kept blotting on his page, and dry himself clean with the parchments he had crumpled in irritation. He was trying to squeeze every word free from his fingertips, and smear them onto the paper. He was trying to write a symphony, but all he was getting was a sad, out of tune note out of a startled trombone.

 

He wanted to be writing better.

 

He needed this to be the best poem he had written in his entire life. He needed this to be the one that historians looked back on in 200 years and said, “And here, we have the best work of the 18th century.” He needed it to be good enough to impress Theodosia.

 

But he was off his game. And his game wasn't even that good when he was on it. But the sentences were coming out clunky, the words were all either to long or short, the metaphors already done to death. No pretty imagery. No catching phrases.

 

It was awful.

 

Philip crumpled the piece of parchment and shoved it into his drawer, which was now almost overflowing with failed attempts. He let out a strangled sigh, and dropped his head to his desk.

 

“Come on, _come on_ ,” He whispered to himself.

 

This had to be perfect.

 

This was for Theodosia.

 

“What's got you down in the dumps?”

 

Philip lifted his head to glare at Angelica as she entered the room. She was already in her nightgown, her hair hanging loose around her shoulders, brushed free of the curls she had been wearing earlier. As always, her arms were crossed over her chest.

 

“Can you not see this isn't a good time?” Philip asked.

 

“It's never a good time for you,” Angelica said, sitting on Philip's bed. “What are you working on?”

 

“A letter.”

 

Angelica raised an eyebrow. “Sure.”

 

“You don't believe me?”

 

“You never get so irritated while writing letters,” Angelica said, leaning forwards. “You know what does get you so upset?”

 

Philip didn't speak, knowing Angelica would answer herself.

 

“Poetry.”

 

“Hmm.”

 

“Is it for Theodosia? Is it a love poem?” Angelica's taunting tone was now tinted with disgust.

 

“No, Angie.”

 

“Are you going out again tonight?”

 

Philip paused, his eyes catching at the stars just barely starting to show outside his window. “Why do you always get ready for bed so early?”

 

“Stop avoiding the question.”

 

“I'm just saying, you do.”

 

“Are you going out again tonight?”

 

Philip felt a twinge of regret in his stomach for not telling his sister what he'd been feeling for Theodosia. She was the only person he ever talked to about things that mattered- all his school friends were actually incredibly irritating when Philip was forced to see them outside of classes. But this seemed like something he couldn't even tell his sister.

 

He didn't want to keep her in the dark though. Not completely.

 

“Yes,” Philip said.

 

Angelica eyes widened in surprise for a second, before glaring again. “That's a dumb idea. This whole thing you're doing is incredibly dumb.”

 

“I know.”

 

“So why not stop?”

 

Philip smiled slightly. “Too late now, isn't it?”

 

Angelica's eyes grew ever so slightly wider, her scowl softening. She opened her mouth, but no words came out.

 

“I should be going to bed,” Philip said.

 

“You just said it was too early for bed.”

 

“Well, I'm tired alright?”

 

Angelica's eyes watered slightly as she pushed herself off the bed. Her finger tips hovered at the doorknob, her hand quivering.

 

“Philip?”

 

“Yes, Angie?”

 

“Please don't do anything stupid.”

 

“I'll try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angelica seeing through all ur lies.


	12. Chapter 12

The shoes of Theodosia's horse dug deep into the ground, kicking up mud behind her. The snow had melted a great deal the day before, turning the dirt roads into mud pits. Luckily, Peppermint- Theodosia had named the horse when she was 10, but still didn't regret her choice- was getting along alright, and Theodosia was managing to cling to her back. Her skirt was hiked up and tied into a giant knot to keep it from getting in the way, her hair braided off her face. The night was warmer than any previous, and the clouds had officially passed.

 

Peppermint slid to a stop, taking a second to dig her hooves into the earth. Theodosia yelped slightly as Peppermint fumbled, but they came to a stop with no harm.

 

“There we are,” Theodosia said, jumping down. Her feet landed in the mud with a loud squishing noise, splattering mud over her dress and boots. She wrinkled her nose, and pulled her feet free, starting to trudge towards the barn.

 

“I can't believe I let Philip keep this as our location,” Theodosia grumbled to Peppermint as she approached the barn. The door was open- even though Theodosia had been trying to race Philip there the past few nights, he always beat her. Though Theodosia didn't mind- part of her worried what would happen if she reached the barn before him, and was forced to wait for his arrival.

 

She hurriedly untied her dress from it's knot and let it fall around her ankles as she entered the barn.

 

“There she is!” Philip cried, jumping down from their spot on the upper level. “And looking splendid as always.”

 

“Stop it,” Theodosia said, ducking her head. She wished her hair was free so she could hide her face. Despite how many of these compliments Philip had given her over the past week, she still felt flushed when she received one off guard.

 

“And Peppermint, lovely to see you as well,” Philip said, making a grand bow towards the horse.

 

Theodosia giggled. “Stop being foolish,” She said, as she led Peppermint to a pile of hay sitting in the far corner. The barn was already lit with lamps- scattered to make the place dim, but not dark- and the blanket Philip had brought their first night was still sitting in front of the window.

 

“The barn looks lovely,” Theodosia said. “Per the usual.”

 

“I'm flattered,” Philip said, placing a hand over his heart. “Would you like to accompany me to the star gazing?”

 

Theodosia followed Philip up the ladder, and immediately took her seat on the blanket, lying back against the hay.

 

“I've gotten rather used to the feeling of hay,” Theodosia said, taking her hair down from it's braid.

 

“Not too uncomfortable anymore?” Philip asked.

 

“Oh no, it still feels like lying on needles.” Theodosia's hair fell free around her face. “I've simply become accustomed to needles trying to stab me each night.”

 

Philip's eyes creases with smile lines. “I'm glad I've lowered your standards.”

 

Theodosia simply rolled her eyes as she leaned against him. Their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces now that they had some practice. Theodosia's head on Philip's shoulder, his arm wrapped around her waist. It felt all too intimate to Theodosia, yet she didn't want to spend her time with him any other way.

 

“How was your day?” Philip asked.

 

Theodosia bit her bottom lip. This question had become so common between them, yet every time it made her think of what an old man would ask his wife over dinner.

 

“Quite nice,” Theodosia said. “I took a walk into town. Saw your little brothers, though I didn't say hello. Do you know they like to play with the street boys?”

 

“Is that a problem?”

 

“Only strange. I've never met boys of such high ranking who spend their time with… people lower.”

 

“Isn't the whole point of America that we have no rankings?”

 

“You know what I mean, Philip.”

 

“I used to like to play with the street boys.”

 

“That explains why you're such a rat.”

 

Philip's laugh echoed through the barn, sending chills up Theodosia's spine.

 

“Did anything else happen?”

 

“My father got another letter from the man pursuing me.”

 

Philip tensed, ever so slightly. “Really?”

 

Theodosia nodded. “I told Father to turn him down again.”

 

“Would you like me to punch him? Because I will.”

 

“Excuse me?” Theodosia asked, sitting up.

 

“Believe me, nothing will get a man to leave a lady alone like a swift punch to the nose. I've done it before, and it's 100 percent effective.”

 

“Goodness, you don't have to be so violent! Besides, I don't need you fighting my battles.” Theodosia paused before resting her head against Philip again. “You really did used to play with the street boys.”

 

Philip chuckled, pulling Theodosia closer. Her breath caught in her throat, causing her to cough.

 

“You alright?” Philip asked, looking down at her with worry.

 

“Fine,” Theodosia sputtered out. “Just… dust and such...”

 

Philip nodded as Theodosia managed to compose herself. Her face burned as she rested her head back on his shoulder.

 

“What about you?” Theodosia asked. “Anything interesting happen today?”

 

“No, I'm afraid it was incredibly boring. Most days are when I'm home.” He paused before adding, “Unless I'm with you.”

 

Theodosia lightly smacked him. “Stop with the lines.”

 

Philip cracked a devious grin. “You'll never stop me.”

 

“How's your sister doing?” Theodosia asked, changing the subject.

 

“Oh she goes on and on about what a terror you are on the world.”

 

“So her opinions on me haven't changed much?”

 

“Afraid not.”

 

“I wonder why she hates me so...” Theodosia said, her brow knitting together.

 

“Oh, don't worry about her, Angelica hates everyone.”

 

“Perhaps,” Theodosia said, forcing herself to let go of the topic. “But we shouldn't be speaking of sadder subjects- it is your last night in town, after all.”

 

“I know,” Philip said, his eyes trailing the stars above them. “I'll greatly miss it here.”

 

“Won't you be happy to be back at school?” Theodosia asked, despite the thought of him leaving made her feel like her rib cage was being flooded with water.

 

“Not as happy as I am here.”

 

There was a beat of silence. Theodosia didn't tell him to stop with the lines. Instead she wrapped an arm around his waist, holding him slightly closer. She could feel his stomach rise and fall with each breath. She closed her eyes.

 

Everything was still.

 

“We shouldn't be doing this,” Theodosia whispered. But she didn't pull away.

 

“Theodosia,” Philip said, suddenly slipping out of her arms. It paned him to do so, but he forced himself to leave behind her touch and turn to face her.

 

“Yes?” Theodosia asked, wrapping her arms around herself. She suddenly felt oddly bare without Philip's warmth.

 

“I have something for you.”

 

Theodosia's eyes widened, and she watched expectantly as Philip fished through is pocket until he pulled out a folded piece of parchment.

 

“What's that?” Theodosia asked, her eyes narrowing slightly.

 

“It is...” Philip swallowed, his mouth suddenly full of sand. “A poem.”

 

Theodosia's eyebrows raised as she sat a little taller. “Really?”

 

Philip nodded.

 

“You're going to let me read one of your poems?” Theodosia was holding back her smile now, barely letting it slip onto her lips.

 

“No,” Philip said. “I'm… going to read it for you.”

 

Theodosia bit her lip. “Even better.”

 

Theodosia sat back against the hay, folding her hands over one another in her lap. She tried to contain her excitement as Philip opened the paper with shaky hands.

 

He stared down at the paper for a moment, his eyes flickering from the words to Theodosia's expectant face. After a moment he sighed and said, “I can't do it with you watching me like that.”

 

“Oh, sorry,” Theodosia said, shrinking back slightly. “What if I close them?”

 

“I think that will help,” Philip said, managing a small smile.

 

Theodosia rested her head against the hay, feeling it prick at her scalp and back. She ignored it, closing her eyes. She took a deep breath as Philip started to read.

 

The first few lines were stammered, Philip stuttering over a syllable here and there, rushing through the words. His hands were shaking, and his face was hot. He was grateful Theodosia couldn't see him in such a state.

 

He started to settle into it, the words coming more easily, the lines flowing together like streams meeting. He was tempted to let his eyes stray from the parchment and instead stare at Theodosia's peaceful face as she listened, still as stone. Her lips curled up ever so slightly, her eyelashes fluttering after certain words. If he hadn't known better, he'd think she was sleeping.

 

He worried for a moment that she _was_ sleeping, and that his poem had bored her to the point of being unable to stay awake. He quickly shook the thought from his mind, focusing on the poem once more.

 

His words were gentle as a lullaby as he finished, soft as silk against Theodosia's ears. Her eyes remained shut a moment longer, letting the words flood through her. Philip watched, toying with the edge of his shirt as she slowly opened them.

 

She looked at him. A steady, piercing gaze, that felt like a shot in the heart.

 

“That was beautiful,” She said after a moment. Her voice was soft, like she was nervous talking to loud would shatter the windows.

 

“Really?” Philip asked, a smiling breaking across his face.

 

Theodosia nodded, her curls bouncing up and down. “Absolutely magnificent. I think I got chills.”

 

“Thank you,” Philip said, sheepishly shoving the paper back into his pocket.

 

“How do you write like that?” Theodosia asked, sitting up and resting on her hands. She looked at him like he held the secrets of the universe in his eyes.

 

Philip shrugged. “I just write...”

 

“It was beautiful.”

 

Philip was blushing, deep red. “Thank you.”

 

“When did you write that?”

 

“Earlier today.”

 

“Who _is_ Lady Midnight, if I may ask?”

 

Philip raised an eyebrow. “Oh, you wouldn't know her.”

 

“Really?” Theodosia asked, raising her eyebrows. “Is there some other girl you sneak off with at midnight each evening?”

 

“Several.”

 

Theodosia laughed as she reached forwards to grab Philip's arm. “You're quiet the poet,” She said, pulling him back against the hay.

 

“Thank you,” She said quietly. Her forehead was pressed against his chest, his arms wrapped around her. Her legs were thrown over his, her fingertips dancing at his waist.

 

“What do you have to thank me for?”

 

“That was beautiful. It's worth a thank you.”

 

“Thank you for listening.”

 

Philip's heart beat twice against Theodosia's ear.

 

“I don't want you to go,” Theodosia said, her voice cracking slightly.

 

“I don't want to go either.”

 

“What am I going to do with no where to sneak out to every midnight,” Theodosia laughed, but she found herself blinking away tears.

 

“Hey,” Philip said, pulling away from her slightly. He lifted her chin so she was looking at him, their faces inches apart. “I'm not going to be away forever.”

 

Theodosia nodded, but a tear slipped free, running down her cheek. Philip reached up, gently brushing it away with his thumb.

 

“I don't know why I'm crying,” Theodosia admitted. “I thought I would stay… much more composed.”

 

“I was worried I would cry,” Philip whispered. His eyes were brighter than anything Theodosia had ever seen before.

 

“I'm going to miss you,” Theodosia sniffed. “Very dearly.”

 

“I'll miss you like sun at midnight.”

 

Theodosia forced a smile. “You really are quite poetic.”

 

“That wasn't my best line. I'll think of a better one later, I promise.”

 

Theodosia laughed, another tear slipping down her cheek. “I've never met someone quite like you Philip.”

 

“Really? I thought I was quite common.”

 

“Then I've never _liked_ someone like you.”

 

“Ah, so you like me!”

 

“Well I wouldn't spend a week sleeping in a barn with a boy I despised, now would I?”

 

Philip laughed, and rested his forehead against Theodosia's. She looked so delicate in the moonlight. He wanted to drink in her imagine, to breath in how she was looking up at him, to paint a portrait and keep it locked away in his mind for safe keeping.

 

“You're incredibly beautiful,” He whispered.

 

Theodosia's eyes widened slightly as heat rushed to her cheeks. “You're a liar.”

 

“I've never lied before, and I would start now.”

 

Theodosia bit her lip. “Thank you. You're rather dashing yourself.”

 

“Yes, I know.”

 

Theodosia giggled, her arms pulling him slightly closer. “Sometimes I think you have more freckles than stars.”

 

“I've heard that there are infinite stars.”

 

“And you have infinite freckles.”

 

Philip brushed back one of Theodosia's curls, tucking it behind her ear. Her hair was softer than fresh spring grass. Theodosia reached up to do the same to him just a moment after. His hair was messy, and rough on her fingertips.

 

“What have you done to me, Philip?” She asked, her voice catching in her throat.

 

Philip replied by gently placing his lips against her forehead. Theodosia closed her eyes as fat tears rolled down her cheeks.

 

“Please don't go,” She said.

 

“I'll be back in the summer.”

 

“Will you visit again?”

 

“I'll try. Goodness, I'll try with everything I have.”

 

Theodosia laughed, looking up at him. The tears in her eyes made Philip's heart twist around itself.

 

“Once I'm back, I'll be back for months,” Philip said. “As soon as June comes, I'll be back. That's only two months away, right? We can last two months.”

 

Theodosia nodded. “T-two months.”

 

“And I'll write.”

 

“And I'll reply.”

 

“Everyday.”

 

Theodosia sniffed. “Now that's a little unrealistic.”

 

Philip laughed. “Every other day. At least.”

 

Theodosia nodded. “Do you think I'll get any more poetry?”

 

“We'll have to wait and see.”

 

Theodosia smiled, resting her head against his chest once again. Philip tried to figure out the feeling, to bottle it, so he'd never forget how incredible it felt to be held and be holding Theodosia Burr.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't have time to edit this one, so sorry if there's some big repeat or whatever.
> 
> Also, alternate title: I heard you a Niiiiina went for a roll in the hay! HEY!


	13. Chapter 13

_Dear Phillipa,_

 

_I must apologize deeply for how I acted during our last encounter. I'm afraid I- I let my emotions get the better of me. Next time I promise to be more civil._

 

_I was hoping to see you off to school again, but I suppose your family had that handled. Besides, it would have been odd to have a single Burr amongst all the Hamiltons- though perhaps better me than my father. But, I digress, there's no point speculating._

 

_I miss you. I think Peppermint might as well- she got used to her midnight runs. The other day she was whining at 1 am because she was restless. I took her out of the stable and went around town with her for a while, but she wasn't satisfied. I dare say you have the nerve to ruin my horse as well._

 

_There's not much else to speak of. I'm hoping to see your sister soon- I will make that girl like me if it's the last thing I do, and I believe I’m finally making a dent her oh so powerful defenses._

 

_My father is well. Things seemed to have settle down a little between our families- at least for the time being. My father is so wrapped up in work that he doesn't have time to be irritated with your father nowadays- or at least he doesn't have time to talk about it._

 

_I've started re-reading the book you gave me. It makes me think of you. Which sounds incredibly stupid now that I say it, please pretend I never did._

 

_Yours,_

 

_Theodosia_

 

_\- - -_

 

_My Dearest Theo,_

 

_School is the dullest activity ever created. I wish I could be spending my time with you instead of practicing Latin terms._

 

_My friends are all rather irritated with me, since I've become a hermit of the sorts. I spend all my free time in my room, either writing to you, or thinking of you. Or trying to slug through the book- I'm glad you enjoy it, truly, but I can barely understand every other word._

 

_I wish I had more to write you about. My life is painfully dull without you._

 

_I'll be home soon though. Only another 2 months._

 

_Yours, now and forever,_

 

_Phillipa_

 

_\- - -_

 

Theodosia knocked gingerly on the door with the golden knocker. It was carved ornately with roses, yet it seemed like it hadn't been polished in a good while, and was started to turn from gold to a muddy bronze. Theodosia took a step away from the door, and held her purse in front of her as she waited for a response.

 

It wasn't a butler or house maid, as Theodosia had been expecting. Instead she was greeted with the sound of children's feet slapping the stairs, and the door cracking open just enough for an eye level with Theodosia's waist to peer out.

 

Theodosia smiled down at it. “Good day.”

 

The door opened wider to reveal a little boy standing in the doorway. He wasn't wearing shoes, and his trousers were hiked up to his knees. His hair was a complete mess, but he sported a grin second to none.

 

“Theo!” He cried, and leapt forward to embrace her in a hug so tight Theodosia lost her breath for a moment.

 

“Hello, John,” Theodosia managed, wincing slightly but laughing none the less. “You've grown since I last saw you.”

 

“I'm 4 feet and 4 inches,” John said proudly.

 

“Impressive,” Theodosia said, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Why are you here?” John asked, starting to walk back through the door. He suddenly stopped himself, as if hit with a sudden realization, and stepped back, gesturing grandly into the house.

 

“Welcome to our humble abode,” He said, staring at Theodosia's shoes.

 

“Well!” Theodosia smiled, tentatively stepping through the doorway. “Where did you learn a greeting like that?”

 

“It's how Papa welcomes all of our guests,” John explained, closing the door behind him.

 

The inside of the Hamilton house merely hinted at elegance. Though there were great painting and portraits that hung on the walls, most frames seemed to not have been polished in months. Furniture was simple, and sparse. The only thing that could be considered grand were the bookshelves, which lined every wall- where there wasn't a window, that is, and there were many windows.

 

It was so different from Theodosia's home, where medals were displayed and a painting hung from almost every free inch. Where everything was cleaned 3 times a day. Spotless. Precise.

 

“What a lovely home,” Theodosia said, looking around.

 

John beamed. “Thank you.”

 

“I someone here, darling?”

 

Theodosia turned to see Mrs. Hamilton coming down the stairs, her cream colored dress billowing out behind her. She looked absolutely magnificent, her dark hair falling free around her face, her cheeks rosy and eyes shining.

 

“Theodosia!” She said, her face splitting into a smile as her eyes landed on the girl. “How lovely to see you! John, why didn't you tell me we had company?”

 

“I wanted to answer the door first,” John said, his mouth on the verge of a pout.

 

“He's like our very own butler,” Mrs. Hamilton said, winking at Theodosia.

 

“Do you not have a butler?” Theodosia asked, despite knowing it was toeing the line of being impolite.

 

“For special occasions, yes. For everyday, we seem to get on fine on our own.” Mrs. Hamilton's eyes scanned her son as her lips pursed. “John, you've gotten dirty. Go change your trousers at once. And see to something about your hair.”

 

John nodded, and obediently ran for the stairs.

 

“And don't run!” Mrs. Hamilton called after him. But the sound of his footsteps didn't slow as they disappeared upstairs.

 

“He really is his father's son,” Mrs. Hamilton sighed. “I never imagined I'd be raising my children in such a way. But I guess that's just what life hands you.” Mrs. Hamilton was beaming, her teeth like pearls.

 

Theodosia smiled back, despite not understanding what Mrs. Hamilton meant.

 

“Well,” Mrs. Hamilton said, brushing her hands off on her skirt. “Not that I'm not happy to see you, but would there be a specific reason for this visit? Or just stopping by?”

 

“I was hoping to see Angelica,” Theodosia said, holding her hands firmly behind her back. “If she's not here I'd be happy to come back another time.”

 

“Oh no, she's right out in the garden,” Mrs. Hamilton said, gesturing towards the other end of the house. “Go right outside, the door's just down this hallway. I'll fix you girls some tea.”

 

“Thank you,” Theodosia said, turning towards the hall. At the end she could see a set of double glass doors that looked like they were made from diamonds by the way they were shining. Theodosia looked around her as she walked the hallway, but there was nothing but bookshelves and doors.

 

She reached the door, her hand hovering at the doorknob for a moment before opening it. It was a lovely spring day- mid may now, and the melted snow left room for blooming flowers and dazzling blue skies. Theodosia stepped onto the grass, her heels sinking ever so slightly in the ground.

 

Angelica sat at the other side of the large yard, staring intensely at a purple flower before her. She had a book propped on her legs and a pencil in her hand, gnawing on the end of it. She was wearing a white dressed tied in a knot at her waist, leaving her legs free, and her bare feet nestled in the grass. Her chestnut curls were piled on top of her head, held in place with what seemed to be a second pencil.

 

“Is that a violet?” Theodosia asked, carefully approaching Angelicalike a wild animal, worried that if she frightened it, it would scurry back into the woods.

 

Angelica jumped slightly, then turned to scowl at Theodosia. “I was trying to concentrate.”

 

“My apologies,” Theodosia said, craning her neck to look at Angelica's reading. Her eyes widened slightly as she realized it was a sketchbook.

 

“What are you working on?” Theodosia asked, trying to get a look.

 

“Nothing,” Angelica insisted, holding the sketch against her chest.

 

“Were you drawing the flower?” Theodosia asked.

 

“I don't have to tell you anything,” Angelica said, stumbling to her feet. “What are you even doing here?”

 

Theodosia was slightly taken aback, though she shouldn't have been surprised.

 

“I wanted to see you,” She said, gripping her purse slightly tighter.

 

Angelica's eyes narrowed. “Why?”

 

“Well I don't know,” Theodosia said, throwing her hands out to either side of her. “Because we're friends? And I wanted to know how you were doing? The way friends do?”

 

Angelica didn't reply, only closed her sketchbook and set it on the ground besides her.

 

“You haven't replied to any of my letters,” Theodosia said, sitting besides her.

 

“I had nothing to say.”

 

There was a beat of silence.

 

“You're going to stain your skirt.”

 

“I think I'll be alright,” Theodosia said, smiling gently.

 

Angelica's glare only deepened.

 

“You have a lovely garden,” Theodosia said. “And a lovely home. It's been years since I was last here.”

 

“I remember.”

 

“Do you have a gardener?”

 

“We used to. Now I mostly tend to the flowers myself.”

 

“Big job.”

 

“I don't have anything else to do.”

 

Theodosia folded her hands in her lap. “Angelica, I know you might find this hard to believe, but I do actually want to be your friend.”

 

“I know your family well enough to not believe that,” Angelica said.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“You and your father, you just put on acts for people whenever they have something that you want. It's why our father's have such a dispute.”

 

“Well,” Theodosia said, raising her eyebrows. “I'm afraid I have to argue against that. And even if it was true, what would you have that I'd want?”

 

“My brother.”

 

Theodosia's eyes widened in surprise. “You don't own your brother.”

 

“But it will certainly be easier to convince our parents of a marriage proposal if I'm on your side.”

 

Theodosia couldn't seem to form a full sentence in her mind, so instead of speaking, she merely stared at Angelica, her mouth open in shock.

 

“I know of your little affair, Theodosia. You aren't subtle. The only reason our parents haven't caught on is because it's such an absurd idea they don't even consider it.”

 

“We aren't having an _affair,_ ” Theodosia said, her cheeks flushed. “We're friends.”

 

“Don't _lie_ to me. Even if it isn't official, it's clear to see what you two think of each other.”

 

Theodosia set her jaw, staring at Angelica with a force of determination. “Even if that is true, and I'm not saying it is, that doesn't change the fact that I wish to be your friend.”

 

Angelica was silent.

 

Theodosia sighed, and pushed herself off the ground, standing on her feet. “Come,” She said. “Show me around the garden.”

 

Angelica hesitated, but stood besides Theodosia, and after a silent moment, started leading her to the other side of the garden.

 

Angelica knew what she was talking about- she had done extensive research on each plant and flower they had, and knew how to tend and care for all of them equally. She pointed out characteristics and quirks, describing history and uses.

 

“Your knowledge is rather impressive,” Theodosia said as Angelica crouched next to a patch of lilies.

 

“They're fascinating,” Angelica said, her eyes still fixed on the flowers. “As is all of nature, of course. I'm baffled as to why we spend all our times inside with books when we could be out in woods and forests.”

 

“Perhaps because books are fascinating as well?” Theodosia asked.

 

Angelica shrugged.

 

“Do you spend a lot of time out here.”

 

“Almost all of it. Except for winter of course. It's dreadful, New York has such forceful winters. When I'm older I hope to move south- though my dream is returning to the Caribbean.”

 

“Return?”

 

“Well, not return. My father came from the Caribbean though, so I feel as if I have a connection there.”

 

Theodosia smiled. “That's a nice thought.”

 

Angelica stood up, shaking off Theodosia's comment.

 

“Do you always were that kind of dress?” Theodosia asked as Angelica lead her to the next plant, eyeing Angelia's dirt stained petticoat.

 

“Yes,” Angelica said defensively. “Or trousers, if it's cold. They're much more practical.”

 

“I hate the feel of trousers,” Theodosia said. “I wore them once when I was twelve, I felt as if my legs were being suffocated.”

 

“That's another difference between us,” Angelica said. “You always wear such… excessive clothing.”

 

“I just have an eye for fashion,” Theodosia said, laughing.

 

“Still, you arrive to a garden wearing a hat and gloves. Not exactly work attire.”

 

“In my defense, I didn't know I would be spending my time in a garden,” Theodosia said. “And what's so awful about gloves?”

 

“They make my hands itch,” Angelica said, scratching her palms as if just the thought made her skin crawl.

 

“You're an interesting person, Angelica,” Theodosia said, inspecting a chrysanthemum.

 

Angelica was quiet for a moment, though Theodosia could almost hear her grinding her jaw.

 

“Theodosia?” Angelica asked after a moment.

 

“Yes, Angelica?”

 

“Can I ask you something? And you promise to be honest?”

 

Theodosia turned away from the flower. Angelica's blue eyes were huge, her bottom lip almost quivering.

 

“Of course.”

 

“Do you really want to be my friend? Not just because of Philip?”

 

Theodosia laughed, tossing her head back. Angelica stiffened, and then went back to her glare.

 

“Well I guess that answers my question,” She said, starting to turn away.

 

“Wait no!” Theodosia grabbed Angelica's arm, still struggling to talk over her laughter. “Of course I want to be friends with you! I thought I had made that clear enough already.”

 

Angelica tugged her arm away.

 

Theodosia suppressed the last of her giggles and looked at Angelica. “Yes. I very much want to be your friend.”

 

Angelica swallowed, and looked at the grass. “Alright then,” She mumbled.

 

“Alright what?”

 

“Alright I'll be your stupid friend.”

 

\- - -

 

_Dear Philip,_

 

_I did it. I knew I could. Your sister took some wearing down, but I knew I could get her to like me._

 

_You also have a lovely home. And a lovely garden. Angelica seems very devoted to it._

 

_I'm sorry I don't have anything more to write you about. I simply wanted to let you know of the good news._

 

_Yours,_

 

_Theodosia._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im at a tech rehearsal for the next hour and I haven't had anything to eat today life is fun.


	14. Chapter 14

Philip couldn’t sit still no matter how hard he tried. As the carriage bounced over the stray rocks in the path, he was fiddling with his fingers, restlessly tapping his foot, and had been gnawing on his lip until it started bleeding. He was pretty sure he was giving his driver a headache, but he couldn’t help it. He was supremely anxious.

 

Theodosia had been the only subject on his mind for the past 2 months. Their few letters they sent had become treasures to him, which he kept hidden in his pockets during classes or tests. He had wanted to write her more- to write her endlessly- but in the last two months of school, the work load was at least tripled, which made no sense to Philip because they weren’t going to retain half the information after they left for college.

 

Philip wanted to tell the driver to go straight to Theodosia’s home, but he knew his family came first. So he sat and twiddled his thumbs and dreamed of how Theodosia’s hair around her face in curls, and her skin almost glowed in the moonlight and how the stars reflected in her eyes the night she looked up at him from the barn’s floor.

 

He shook off the thoughts as he reached home, the carriage stopping abruptly. He threw open the door and jogged towards the house, running his hands through his loose hair one more time before knocking.

 

Surprisingly, his mother was the one to answer the door. “Philip!” She said, a smile painted on her face. Her cheeks were rosy, her hair tied back.

 

“Hi Ma,” Philip said as his mother pulled him into a hug.

 

For once, she didn’t correct him on his improper manners. “Look at you! All done with schooling! You’re practically already a lawyer.”

 

“I still have college-“ Philip said, but his mother didn’t let him finish.

 

“Children!” She called. “Your brother is home!”

 

The parade of footsteps tumbling down the stairs filled the house as Philip’s siblings charged towards him. John reached him first, taking a leap and jumping into his brother’s arms.

 

“Hey,” Philip mustered, struggling to hold him.

 

“You’re home!” John cried as James and William crowded Philip’s feet. Alexander seemed to be above the shameless swarming of their brother, but waited on the side lines nervously bouncing on his toes.

 

Philip greeted each of them with a hello and a toss in the air. They all screamed with glee. Philip laughed, putting down James and turning to see Angelica waiting next to the stairs. She had clearly just came in from the garden, her dressed stained and feet bare. Her hair fell over her shoulders in thick tangles, her hands clasped before her. For once, she wasn’t scowling- in fact she was looking to Philip with eyes as wide as the moon.

 

His aunt stood next to her, but she only came forwards, gave Philip a quick kiss on the cheek and said, “Welcome home,” before leaving the two siblings.

 

“Hello Angie,” Philip said, grinning at her.

 

Angelica stepped forwards in two broad steps, and embraced Philip is a hug that made him struggle for air.

 

“You’re home,” She said, her voice nearly cracking.

 

“I’m not returning from war, Angelica,” Philip said, pulling away from her grasp. “Besides, you just saw me two months ago. No one made such a fuss then.”

 

“You’re home for the _entire summer_ ,” Angelica explained, her eyes dancing. “Finally.”

 

It had been a while since Philip really _lived_ in the house- the summer before he had stayed at school, and the summer before that he had gone to a friends house down south (his father had hated that.) He hadn’t really considered that it would be his first time living in his home in years.

 

“So that’s what all this is about?” Philip asked, cracking a smile.

 

“Well, and the fact that you’re done with schooling now.”

 

“I’m still going to college!”

 

Angelica waved away the comment. “Oh, college isn’t important.”

 

“College is _quite_ important, Angie.”

 

Angelica simply rolled her eyes. “The point is, we have you back for the summer.”

 

“Please be merciful.”

 

Angie’s scowl played at her features once again. Philip wasn’t surprised.

 

“Where’s Pops?” He asked as he followed his siblings towards the dining room.

 

“He’s been away the past month,” Angelica explained.

 

“That should be contributing to Mother’s mood,” Philip said. “Does she really let you walk around the house with your feet filthy?”

 

Angelica rolled her eyes. “I dream of the day. I doubt she noticed with all the commotion around you.”

 

“You seem more cheerful.”

 

Angelica wrinkled her nose Philip had just presented her with a rotting fish. “I wouldn’t count on it lasting long.”

 

All of Philip’s siblings were trying to talk at once, clambering through the dining room, raising their voices to compete with one another. Philip could already feel a headache brewing in the back of his head, so he turned to his mother and said, “I hate to leave the party so early, but I’m afraid I promised a friend I’d meet him at the library.”

 

His siblings all had a collective moment of silence before they started to whine, plead, and even boo. Philip tried not to laugh as he made his way towards the doorway.

 

“So soon?” His mother asked, her eyes stinging with hurt.

 

“I’ll be back in an hour,” Philip said. “Two, tops.”

 

His mother’s lips were thin and eyebrows drawn, but her sister came up besides her, gently resting a gloved hand on her shoulder.

 

“Let him have a bit of fun,” Philip’s aunt said, giving him a wink. “I’m sure he had a hard journey. Besides, we have the entire summer with him.”

 

“Alright then,” his mother said, though her face didn’t relax.

 

Philip’s face broke out in a grin. “Thank you Mother. I’ll be back before dinner, I promise.”

 

Philip jogged to the door, where Angelica was waiting.

 

“Going out?” She asked.

 

“Just for a little while.”

 

“Library?”

 

“You guessed it.”

 

“Tell Theodosia I say hi.”

 

Philip stopped for a moment, his hand on the handle, his back stiffening. He turned to look at his sister, his eyes wide with surprise and fear. She merely laughed and patted his shoulder as she walked away.

 

\- - -

 

Though Philip was obviously hoping to see Theodosia as soon as possible, he hadn’t made specific plans with her. He was hoping to stop by her house the next day, or leave a note to meet in the barn. Now that he was considering it though, they seemed like awful options, and he wished he had brought up the subject in his last letter.

 

He couldn’t worry about it in the moment though. He had his carriage let him off in the middle of town so he could walk the rest of the way to the library- it was a beautiful day, the sky light with wisps of clouds, the air smelling fresh and slightly of daisies- Angelica had taught him to differentiate at least some of the most basic flower scents. It wasn’t busy out, so Philip felt no need to rush. He walked a bit slower than he usually did, taking in the town around him.

 

He stopped in his tracks as he caught the sight of dark curls.

 

Philip wondered how large New York really was if he kept running into the same person every time he came through town. But it was unmistakably Theodosia, looking radiant in a peach dress, half her hair pinned up. She was wearing full length gloves, a cream parasol resting on her shoulder. She was walking next to a girl wearing teal, with a parasol to match. But Philip barely even saw her, his eyes caught on Theodosia as her face spread into a laugh.

 

He didn’t know if he should call out to her, approach her, ignore her- neither seemed like very good options. He wanted to see her, but not in the company of others. He wanted her alone. And as selfish as it sounded, he wanted her to himself.

 

But more than that, he just wanted to see her. Desperately, hopelessly wanted to see her.

 

He was about to call out, but before he could, her eyes landed on him.

 

Their gazes locked. Even from down the street, he could see how the darkness pooled in her eyes, how her mouth opened ever so slightly in shock. She became paralyzed along with him, both of them standing in the road with shoppers and workers moving all around them.

 

It was her companion who finally nudged her back to life. She jolted slightly, as if woken from a dream. She nervously looked from the girl to Philip, before she locked eyes with him again and awkwardly stumbled forwards.

 

Philip did as well, having to stop himself from sprinting to her. The closer he got, the more he wanted to reach out and pull her against him, run his fingers through her curls, drink up the color of her eyes. He had to force himself to breath as the finally met in the middle of the street.

 

“Mr. Hamilton,” Theodosia said, clearly trying to compose herself. Her cheeks were flushed, but to be fair it could’ve also been from the heat.

 

“Miss Burr,” Philip replied, his voice nearly cracking. She wasn’t looking him in the eye anymore, instead her gaze seemed to be focused on his lips.

 

There was a painfully long moment of silence.

 

“Martha Seaburry,” The girl besides Theodosia cut in, holding out her hand. “We’ve met before.”

 

“Of course,” Philip said, taking her hand. “How could I forget.”

 

“I hear you just got back from schooling.”

 

“Indeed. Just returned within the last hour.”

 

Martha flashed a perfect smile before looking to Theodosia. “Well,” She said. “I think I’ll keep walking then. See the shops.” She paused looking at Philip deviously. “You two probably have quite a bit to talk about anyways. I’ll see you tonight, Theodosia.”

 

“Goodbye,” Theodosia said, quickly patting her friends hand. Martha continued down the road like a cat that had just made it’s kill.

 

Philip was all too aware of his blushed cheeks, which only made him blush harder. He had no idea what to say to Theodosia, the endless well of conversation they had dug in the barn seeming to have run dry.

 

Theodosia tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, nervously looking to the ground. She felt even more awkward than Philip- she was the one who was supposed to be good at conversation, at striking up mindless small talk. And in any other case she was- yet for some reason, her mind went blank when Philip was the one she was talking to.

 

Philip spoke first, awkwardly clearing his throat. “It’s good to see you again.”

 

“You as well,” Theodosia said. “You look well.”

 

“Thank you, you look lovely.”

 

Theodosia bit her lip, adverting her eyes once again. “Perhaps we shouldn’t be talking in a place so… open.”

 

Philip nodded. “I was just thinking the same thing. There wouldn’t be a pub around here where we could sit and talk for a little while?”

 

Theodosia looked back up at him, a smile taunting her lips. “Indeed, that sounds like a splendid idea.”

 

\- - -

 

Theodosia could swear Philip looked taller. She knew that wasn’t possible, they had only seen each other two months prior, and a boy Philip’s age would be done growing at his point. Which was probably part of what made him a “man” now.

 

But still, he felt taller. Maybe their height difference just had been less obvious in the barn. But out in public, he was a giant by Theodosia’s standards.

 

He was sitting across from her, craning his neck to look around the pub. It was a nice one, with wood walls and floors, and a wall of bottles behind the bar. They were sitting off the the side, hopefully hidden from anyone entering the establishment.

 

Theodosia ordered a hot chocolate, Philip a coffee. Once the waitress left, they had nothing to do but speak to each other.

 

Or awkwardly look around the bar and try to think of a topic of conversation.

 

Theodosia finally asked, “How was graduation?”

 

“Oh, nothing fancy,” Philip said. “Most of us just wanted to go home and get it over with.”

 

“You don’t speak of school very fondly.”

 

“I was never too fond of it. Though, next is college, which I can’t say I have high hopes for.”

 

“I’m sure you’ll love it,” Theodosia insisted. “Are you still majoring in law?”

 

Philip gave a sharp nod. “How are your studies going?”

 

Theodosia paused, looking down at her empty plate. “I was actually dropped as a student.”

 

Philip’s eyes widened. “What?”

 

Theodosia nodded. “But it’s no problem, I already told you that I wouldn’t be there much longer.”

 

“Mr. Ericson did that.”

 

“He didn’t have another choice, Philip. I don’t blame him for it.”

 

Philip’s eyebrows knit together. “He should have kept you. There’s no law against it.”

 

“Really, Philip, it’s fine.” Theodosia reached across the table, her hand landing on his.

 

And just like that, the energy between them changed. The awkward tension evaporated into thin air. They might as well have had hay stuck in their hair and have just finished talking of how pretty the stars were.

 

They were back to how they had been before.

 

Theodosia almost let out a sigh of relief as she realized it. She broke out in a big grin, which Philip mirrored, his eyes gleaming.

 

“I’ve missed you dearly,” Philip said.

 

“And I you.”

 

Theodosia pulled away as their waitress approached them, a mug in each hand.

 

"It's a little warm for hot chocolate, don't you think?" Philip asked.

 

"It's never too warm for hot chocolate," Theodosia said simply, as if she was stating that the sky was blue. "It's a universal beverage."

 

Philip raised his eyebrows, taking a sip of coffee. "So I hear you and my sister have been getting along well."

 

Theodosia's eyes brightened. "Oh yes," she said, setting down her mug. "She's finally let me in. I see her every few weeks or so now, though I would visit more if she allowed it. I'm trying to teach her not to scowl so much."

 

Philip laughed. "Good luck with that."

 

"I know, I know. Sometimes I think she's a hopeless cause but…" Theodosia sighed. "She's really very nice, Philip, under all that senseless hatred. And so bright. I'm sure you've heard her go on about the garden."

 

"Many a time," Philip said, raising his eyebrows. "Our parents used to listen to them as well. They got bored, as did the younger siblings. I got used to her talking about flowers for ages while I did homework and pretended to listen."

 

Theodosia smiled. "I'm also trying to teach her some social cues. My biggest hope for the future is getting her out to a ball."

 

"Good luck," Philip said. "Our parents used to try taking us. I may not have liked them, but at least I found a way to get along. Angie was hopeless. Eventually my parents just gave up on taking her."

 

"Well, I will not," Theodosia said with a small smile.

 

Philip leaned closer. "I believe she's aware of… well, our meetings."

 

"Oh, that," Theodosia took a sip of her hot chocolate. "Yes, she knows. I assume it's because you were too dim witted to be secretive."

 

"I take offense to that."

 

"But am I wrong?"

 

Philip waved away her question. "Do you think she'll make a fuss over it?"

 

"No, we never speak of it. She's only brought it up a couple times, and even then it isn't direct. Though… I don't think she likes the idea."

 

"I doubt anyone in my family would."

 

Theodosia’s smile was replaced with thin lips. "We mustn't speak of this now, only happy topics on your home coming."

 

"I agree." Philip leaned in slightly closer. "Do you have any big plans for the summer?"

 

"No," Theodosia said, hoping she came off as absentminded and casual. "Father's going down to Virginia later in August, but I'm sure I could get out of it."

 

"Would you have the house to yourself in that case?" Philip raised an eyebrow. "Along with the bedrooms?"

 

"Philip!" Theodosia cried, reaching over to smack him. Philip laughed, shrinking away.

 

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry."

 

Theodosia stopped hitting him, suppressing giggles. Philip grinned at her.

 

"I should have known better than try to pull lines with a lady of your rank."

 

Theodosia only smiled.

 

Philip grinned back for another few moments before he suddenly reached into his coat and pulled out a pocket watch.

 

"Oh dear," He said, tucking it back. "I have to head to the library."

 

Theodosia's face fell in disappointment. "Really?"

 

Philip nodded, pushing himself up from the table. "I'm afraid so. And Mother really would throw a fit if I'm out longer than two hours…"

 

He looked at Theodosia, her eyes tugging at his heartstrings. He paused, his hand hovering over his coffee mug.

 

"I'm sorry," Theodosia said, turning away. "It's just been so long since we've seen each other. But I understand we'll have plenty of time to catch up this summer."

 

"That's right," Philip said, as Theodosia looked back up at him. Her eyes were a glassy shade of melancholy. "We have an entire summer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Doesn't edit chapter* ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	15. Chapter 15

Theodosia felt stupidly happy now that Philip had returned. She hadn't fully taken into account just how much she had missed him- almost as if she hadn't let herself until he was back. But her mindless days had purpose again, even if she felt incredibly silly admitting it was one of such idiocy. But each morning she felt she had to wake out of hope of seeing the Hamiltons.

 

It wasn't something she would have ever imagined. But her visits with Angelica had become regular, and she managed to persuade Angelica to let her into the garden about twice a week- and there had been a time where Angelica had seen her, groaned, "You were just here yesterday!" and stomped up to here room where she refused to come out until Theodosia left.

 

"I'm afraid she can be rather dramatic sometimes," Mrs. Hamilton had said, trying to force her daughter out of the room.

 

"It's fine," Theodosia insisted. "Tell her I'll be back this weekend."

 

The only good part of the encounter was running into Philip in the hallway as she left.

 

Though Theodosia did truly enjoy seeing Angelica, she found herself thinking greatly of Philip whenever she visited her. They rarely said more than a quick hello, both a bit paranoid over anyone other than his sister catching on. Philip would usually accompany their greeting with a wink, which gave Theodosia massive anxieties since it would be ever so simple for one of his siblings to see it and put two and two together. At the same time, it made her heart rate double.

 

The two made a point of keeping a distance around the family, though tried at least once a week to meet outside of their homes. It wasn't difficult- Theodosia would say she was heading to Martha's (though she had told her father that she was befriending Angelica, he still didn’t approve, and said if she ever saw Mr. Hamilton to “duck her head and walk along faster.”) And Philip had enough friends to pick a name from a hat and claim he was spending the day there.

 

So far Philip and Theodosia had met six times, and Theodosia absolutely loved spending time with him outside of a barn. They tried to stay away from places anyone would recognize them- which, sadly for Philip, meant swearing off the library- and would often meet outside of town. They had gone on two picnics, endless mindless walks, and even once to the ocean- Theodosia had complained that she had sand in her dress for weeks, but enjoyed it all the same.

 

Theodosia loved it. Their letters had stopped, since it seemed pointless and the risk was starting to catch up to them, but Theodosia no longer needed them. Every few days she could hear Philip’s laugh and gaze at his freckled face all she wanted.

 

“Would you like to stop by my house tomorrow?” Philip asked in the middle of a walk one day. It was mid July, and they were walking under a canopy of cherry blossoms. Theodosia had her parasol resting on her shoulder, and her dress was light pink, matching the flowers around them.

 

“Of course,” Theodosia said. “Though I was just there two days ago. I doubt Angelica would let me see her.” Theodosia paused before asking, “Is there a specific reason?”

 

Philip grinned deviously and nodded.

 

“What?” Theodosia asked, the edges of her lips twitching into a smile.

 

“My family’s going to be off visiting some old friends tomorrow,” Philip said, his grin growing wider.

 

“Who?” Theodosia asked instinctively before she realized what he was saying. “Oh. So, the house will be… empty then?”

 

Philip nodded. “Angelica wouldn’t be there to keep you out.”

 

Theodosia felt herself start to blush. “Now, that’s quite an idea.”

 

“They should be out by 9. Doubt they’ll be back ’till supper.”

 

“And why aren’t you visiting these mysterious family friends?”

 

“Never liked ‘em. Convinced Mother I needed a day off to rest.”

 

Theodosia laughed. “I thought all you do is sleep.”

 

“I’m awake now, aren’t I?”

 

Theodosia smiled beneath her parasol. “Well, I’d love to come over. I’ll try to make it by 10.”

 

“I’ll mark it in my calendar.”

 

\- - -

 

Theodosia took the carriage into town at 9:30 and told the driver to head home, and that she would be walking back. She waited until the carriage was out of sight before she turned and headed for the Hamilton home.

 

It was a bright day, and a hot one. Theodosia felt like she was going to sweat her stockings off before she reached the home, but she didn’t let the thought get to her. She tried her hardest to shield herself from the sun, too keep her composure looking elegant and lady like. But she sweat horribly, and could feel her hair sticking to the back of her neck as she approach the house. She cursed not putting it up, and quickly dotted some powder on her face before knocking on the door.

 

Sure enough, Philip opened it, his eyes brimming with excitement.

 

“Miss Burr,” Philip said, making a grand swing of his arm. “Please, enter our humble abode.”

 

Theodosia giggled, stepping into the house. “Your family has left I presume?”

 

Philip nodded. “I’ve been waiting next to the door ever since.”

 

Theodosia blushed, closing her parasol and placing it next to the door. “Like a perfect gentleman.”

 

“Would you like some tea?” Philip asked.

 

“A little hot, isn’t it?”

 

“This, from the woman who drinks hot chocolate in 100 degree weather.”

 

“That is different,” Theodosia insisted.

 

“Well, then some cake? Angelica just picked some fresh blueberries this morning.”

 

“That sounds delicious,” Theodosia said as Philip started to lead the way to the kitchen. “Thank you.”

 

The cake, a creamy vanilla square, was sitting on the table, with a good quarter already cut out. “I may have had some once my family left,” Philip said, holding a finger to his lips.

 

“How daring.”

 

Philip cut two large slices, and handed one to Theodosia. She sat down as he grabbed a bowl of berries on the table and place it between them. He sat across from her, smiling wide as he threw a berry into his mouth.

 

“This is quite nice,” Theodosia said, picking up a stray fork on the table. “Do you always eat in the kitchen?”

 

Philip shrugged. “It’s right here. If we aren’t having a big meal, most of us eat in here.”

 

“So informal,” Theodosia wondered, her eyes darting around the room. It was a very nice kitchen, cleaned and polished more than most. The kitchen was a place for maids and servants. Yet, here Theodosia sat, feeling strangely at home.

 

“It’s nice to finally be here without the rest of my family,” Philip said. “It’s hard pretending to ignore you in front of all of them.”

 

“Oh, I find it quite easy to ignore you.”

 

Philip laughed. Theodosia bit back a smile.

 

“You ruin me, Theo.”

 

Theodosia bit her bottom lip. “Well, now that we’re alone, there’s something that’s been making me a little mad ever since I first came here.”

 

“And what would that be?”

 

“I have yet to see the upstairs. I must know of the space a mad woman like Angelica lives in.”

 

“Ah,” Philip said. “Well then, allow me to be your tour guide.”

 

Philip gracefully stood, taking Theodosia’s hand. Even through the glove, she could feel the warmth of his skin, and it sent a shiver running through her spine.

 

The stair case was grand and winding, slowly circling it’s way up to the next level. Theodosia followed Philip, her eyes trailing on portraits on the walls. Paintings of the family standing in the garden, John merely a baby in Mrs. Hamilton’s arms. Mr and Mrs. Hamilton standing together with pride, each looking twenty years younger, Mrs. Hamilton’s stomach blooming out from under her. Angelica at age six, looking awfully stubbornly at the painter.

 

“Is this you?” Theodosia asked, her hand hovering over a painting of a young boy with a face full of freckles. He sat at a desk that he could barely reach, his feet dangling above the floor. He held a quill in one hand, grinning down at the piece of parchment before him.

 

“That was before I even knew how to write,” Philip laughed, looking at the painting. “I was trying to intimidate my father.”

 

They reached the top of the staircase, and Philip led her to the first door. “This is James’ room,” He said, opening it to show a clean white room with models lined up along the window. “And John’s…” He opened the opposite door. The same, though these walls were plastered with paper, and had an extra bookshelf.

 

All of the boys rooms were similar, varying vaguely in color and size. Philip skipped one room, moving onto the next hall.

 

“My parent’s room,” He explained. “Doubt it would go over well.”

 

Theodosia nodded as they continued down the hall. Philip threw open another door, and stood looking into it with pride. “This room is mine.”

 

Philip’s room was almost entirely dark wood. From his floor to his ceiling to his bed frame and desk. A single large window sat overlooking the garden, the sill littered with small toys and trinkets. The desk’s top was a complete mess, littered with papers, quills, spots of spilled ink. His bookshelf was almost bursting with books, most put back on their sides out of laziness. The bed sheets were a mess.

 

Theodosia held back a laugh. “You’re a complete slob.”

 

“Oh, now it isn’t _that_ bad.”

 

“It is _horrid_.” Theodosia laugh, picking up a book laying on it’s side. “Goodness, with all your care for libraries I’d think you’d treat the books with more respect.”

 

“My respect is reading them,” Philip said, taking the book back. But he was smiling, and Theodosia returned it.

 

Her eyes caught on another book, and she reached for it. It was filled with small pieces of paper sticking out of the sides, clearly full of bookmarks and dog ears. Theodosia wouldn’t be surprised to find it filled with inky notes.

 

“The book you gave me,” Theodosia said, her eyes trailing the cover.

 

“I’m almost halfway through,” Philip said. “I really am horribly slow at reading French. Though with all my free time this summer, I’m hoping to finish it.”

 

“I’ve forgotten most of it,” Theodosia laughed. “What are the bookmarks?”

 

“Talking points,” Philip said. “So you’d better brush up on your knowledge.”

 

Theodosia grinned up at him before moving to his desk. “Goodness, how do you _write_ so much?”

 

“I get it from Pops,” Philip said. “Oh, don’t look at that!” He snatched a piece of paper from the desk, crumpling it in his hand.

 

“Why?” Theodosia asked.

 

“It’s not finished,” Philip said sheepishly, shoving it into his pocket.

 

Theodosia raised an eyebrow, but didn’t pry. “This is what happens when you don’t have maids,” Theodosia said, turning back to the desk.

 

“We have maids. Well, a maid. And I told her I could handle my room.”

 

“Well, you’ve failed horribly.”

 

Philip just smiled. “Just wait ‘till you see my sister’s room.”

 

Philip was right. Philip’s room could have been the president’s office compared to Angelica’s room. Every wall was lined with shelves, each shelf filled with more books, bottles, and what Theodosia could only identify as leaves, twigs, and animal bones sitting on them. Books that didn’t have room were piled on the floor. Theodosia couldn’t even see Angelica’s desk under the piles of parchment. Her bed was covered in them too, her blankets tangled with the books and papers.

 

“Goodness,” Theodosia said, almost backing out of the room.

 

“I told you,” Philip said, grinning at Theodosia’s expression.

 

“How is this even _livable_?” Theodosia asked, taking a tentative step into the room.

 

“I have no idea. Mother’s given up with her. I think the maid is too scared of Angie to touch it. She somehow manages.” Philip shrugged. “I try not to question it too much.”

 

“Why does she have a pile of dead branches?”

 

“Angelica’s an odd one. She’s always loved this stuff, no idea why.”

 

“It’s so…” Theodosia gasped, and staggered away from the shelf. “That’s a dead beetle,” She said, grasping her chest.

 

“Oh yes, she likes those as well.”

 

“She intentionally keeps dead beetles in her room?”

 

Philip nodded.

 

“I may have to stop seeing your sister,” Theodosia said, looking around the room with disgust.

 

Philip laughed. “Let’s get you out of here, you look like you might faint.”

 

They returned to the kitchen, where Philip had Theodosia sit down and fetched her a glass of water. She picked at the berries before her. “How can someone live like that?”

 

“Angie’s just a bit… different. Never understood what goes on in her mind, but I believe it’s rather genius.” Philip shrugged. “Though, I wouldn’t know much about genius.”

 

“Beg to differ,” Theodosia said as Philip sat across from her.

 

“Well, I do seem to find myself around genius women quite a bit.”

 

Theodosia blushed, ducking her head. “Flattery…” She mumbled.

 

“I think you need some fresh air,” Philip said. “Come, the garden can be beautiful when Angelica’s not there to talk your ear off with a plant’s Latin name.”

 

Theodosia followed him. They slowly made there way through the house, Theodosia constantly aware of how close she and Philip were standing. Shoulder’s brushing, footsteps in unison. As they reached the hallway to the garden, Philip’s hand gently wrapped around her waist, making her feel like she may actually faint.

 

As this happened, a door in the hallway opened, and a woman wearing all yellow stepped out.

 

Philip froze, his hand still around Theodosia. Theodosia felt her blood rush through her temples as the woman turned, and stopped abruptly, clearly startled to see them.

 

“Aunt Angelica,” Philip managed, his voice almost squeaking. “I didn’t know you were home.”

 

“I wasn’t feeling well so I told your mother I would stay behind…” Her gaze turned from Philip to Theodosia, and her eyes softened. “But I was feeling better and thought I might head out for a walk.” She took a step towards them, her gaze suddenly playful and knowing.

 

“Besides,” She said. “I wouldn’t want to crowd you two, now would I?”

 

She winked before walking around them. “Have a lovely afternoon!” She called. “I don’t think I’ll be back for a couple of hours, so you children have fun.”

 

They stayed frozen until they heard the front door close. Theodosia let out a sigh, her entire body sagging.

 

“I cannot believe that,” Philip said, holding his head in his hands.

 

“I love your aunt,” Theodosia said, laughing with relief.

 

After a moment, Philip raised his head. “She is a rather splendid woman.”

 

Theodosia smiled as they continued down the hall. “You don’t think she’ll tell your mother, do you?”

 

“I hope not,” Philip said. “Though, Aunt Angelica’s the most trustworthy woman I know. I don’t think she’ll give us any trouble.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since the grammys...
> 
> (also another chapter I didn't edit ha fun)


	16. Chapter 16

Theodosia already knew who was knocking on the door as she answered, and felt her heart swell with sadness as her eyes landed on Philip, standing in his same cocky stance with his same half smile. Theodosia smiled back, despite her heart trying to break it’s way free from her ribcage.

“Mr. Hamilton.” Her voice was weaker than she was expecting, as if she was ill. Perhaps she was ill.

“Miss Burr.”

“My father’s upstairs,” Theodosia warned.

“I assumed he would be.”

Theodosia’s eyes trailed to the carriage sitting on the road. “At this point I’m starting to think your driver might give us away.”

“Oh, Horace? He wouldn’t.” Philip turned and waved at the driver, turning back to Theodosia with a wide grin.

Theodosia’s draw almost dropped. “You haven’t actually told him, have you?”

“What? Of course not!” Philip’s laugh was a mixture of amusement and worry. “Theo, you don’t think I could actually be so idiotic, do you?”

“No.” Theodosia hugged her arms around her arms. She was wearing a light blue dress that piled up around her ankles- one of her favorites, since she knew Philip would be stopping by. “I must apologize. I’m afraid I’ve been a bit… on edge lately.”

“I understand.” Philip’s eyes were warm as sunlight.

“I don’t want you to go.” Theodosia’s voice cracked on the last syllable, her own words betraying her. She ducked her head, fearing she would start to tear up- she had become such an easy crier as of late.

“I don’t want to leave.” Philip looked at Theodosia with such sorrow she thought it might break her. He quickly switched out the look for a playful smile. “I mean, do I look suited for college?”

Theodosia laughed. “College. Dear, I can’t believe you’re really off to become a lawyer.”

“Best in New York.” Philip paused before adding. “Well, maybe second. Somewhere in the top 5 at least.”

Theodosia snorted. 

“Is it strange to have your father home after so long?”

Theodosia shrugged. “I’m not sure. I’m glad to have him back, and I have missed him dearly but… I feel so guilty. As if I’m hiding some fantastical secret.” She stopped, laughing dryly. “I suppose I am.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t call this fantastical,” Philip said. “Devine, maybe. But I think fantastical should be saved for nights in shining armor and princesses guarded by dragons.”

“My father might as well be a dragon.”

“Does that make you the princess?”

“Oh, don’t start.”

Philip grinned. “Oh!” He reached into his coat pocket. “Before I forget, Angie sent over a letter.”

“For me?”

“Who else. I don’t think she’s ever written a letter to someone outside our family before. You should feel honored.”

“Did you tell her you were coming here?”

“I think she figured it out for herself- she really does have more of a brain than she likes to let on.”

Philip pulled out the thin envelope, crested with what Theodosia deduced as a seal Angelica had made herself. The wax was a greenish brown, marked with, instead of a crest or name, the imprint of one of her favorite leaves. Theodosia’s recognized it from her wall.

“That’s sweet of her,” Theodosia said, taking the letter carefully. She held it as she would with a wounded bird, as if it could shatter beneath the weight of her fingers.

“I don’t understand how you’ve gotten her to tolerate you.”

“I supposed I just have a way with Hamiltons.” Theodosia flashed a smile. “Not to mention that I’m very tolerable either way.”

“Of course,” Philip said. “How could I forget.

Theodosia smiled up at him. Philip paused a moment before licking his lips and reaching forwards to tuck a stray hair back behind Theodosia’s ear.

“I’ll write you everyday.” His voice was warm milk flooding Theodosia’s ears.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

Philip’s mouth dropped in offense. “Miss Theodosia Burr, I happen to completely and sincerely mean to keep this promise with nothing but the threat of death to keep me from achieving it.”

“Truly though.” Theodosia took a step closer. “College must be hard. I’d hate to take time away from your studies. Or your friends.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Philip said with a shrug. “I have no friends.”

Theodosia smiled, though her eyes shown through with sadness. “Don’t feel as if you must be devoted to me.”

Philip’s expression was tinged with honesty as he took Theodosia’s hand, pressing it against his coat’s chest. She could lightly feel his heartbeat through the fabric, and it sent a jolt of electricity running through her veins. 

“But, Miss Theo, I’m afraid I already am.”

\- - -

Philip watched the Burr house vanish into the skyline from his window as the carriage started down the road once again. Theodosia had disappeared back inside, though seeing her left a new spark running through his veins. He hoped he could hold onto it until he could see her again- Only a few months, though to Philip it now seemed like centuries.

Saying goodbye to his family had been well enough. His mother had teared up with the knowledge that he was no longer just off for schooling- he was now off to make his way in the world. Make his way as a man, as a lawyer, perhaps as a politician someday. The thought made his insides curdle like spoiled milk, though he wouldn’t let his mother see so.

His father looked onto him with pride that struck Philip between the ribs. He sent him off with a fresh quill, ink, and the ever precent knowledge that his family’s legacy was now passed down to him.

The little one’s cried. Alexander stood tall, refusing to shed a tear, merely bidding his brother good travel. John and William bawled. 

“I want to you stay here!” John cried into Philip’s shoulder. 

“I’ll be back soon,” Philip assured his brother. 

“Not for a summer.”

“True,” Philip said. “But Angie will keep you company in the mean time. Won’t you Angelica?”

Angelica scowled at the request, but her eyes were clouded with sadness as Philip approached her to say goodbye.

“It’s been a wonderful summer, Angelica.”

“Don’t lie,” Angelica said, her brow furrowed and bottom lip jutting out under her nose.

Philip sighed. “Always so pessimistic. I’ll let you be this once since it’s a happy occasion.”

To his surprise, Angelica didn’t pull away when Philip hugged her. In fact, in the most lackluster was possible, she wrapped her arms around him and hugged back.

“I’m going to miss you,” She whispered.

“I’m going to miss you too.”

“Don’t let the other’s know I said that.”

Philip laughed, stepping back. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

“Oh, speaking of secrets.” Angelica dug through the pockets of her dress- she had sewn them in herself- before pulling out the thing and quickly crafted letter. “This is for Theodosia.”

Philip blinked down at the letter. “Shouldn’t you give that to her yourself?” Philip asked. 

“You’re going to see her anyway.” Angelica shrugged. “I thought I’d ask my brother for a favor.”

“How did you-“ Philip stopped himself. “Yes, I know, I’m not subtle.”

Angelica’s face cracked into the smallest of smiles. “I still don’t like the two of you together.”

“Ah yes. But she’s your friend, is she not?”

The smile vanished. “Just take the damn letter, Philip.”

Philip obliged, giving his sister one last hug before heading for the carriage. 

“Goodbye!” He called as the carriage pulled away from his home.

“Goodbye!” His siblings called. “Have fun at college!”

\- - - 

Philip wasn’t sure what he was to expect from college- he didn’t think it would be too much different from his old schooling, but then he really had no way of knowing. He had made thousands of scenarios in his mind- college would be easy, fun, enjoyable, stressful, worrisome, impossible, useless. Even after a good 2 or 3 years put into it, he would come out as dumb-minded a lawyer as he was going into it.

Philip tried not to think of these things as the carriage continued on. He tried to think of the positives. New people, new professors, new friends.

New girls.

Philip sighed, seeing as none of those girls would matter with Theodosia poking around the back of his mind. Even if he did take interest, he was sure the guilt of Theodosia waiting for him back home would drive him mad.

But Theodosia wasn’t waiting for anything more than her friend to return.

Once again, Philip forced aside his thoughts. “I will not think of Theodosia,” He whispered to himself. “I will not think of Theodosia.”

He instead thought of how, again, he was leaving behind the only other girl who truly mattered to him- Angelica. He had been feeling quite a bit of guilt as of late over not seeing her as frequently as he used to. Sometimes he wondered if he was the only person who could see the girl with intentions, and ambition, trying to burst free from the scowling shell she lived inside. He was sure he wasn’t, even if the rest of his family didn’t acknowledge it. And Theodosia surely had to as well- the two girls were so similar, hiding behind hard exteriors.

Philip sighed, leaning his head back against the seat. He placed his fists over his eyes, wondering if he could physically drive his thoughts out of his mind. It seemed like a dangerous idea, so he instead settled for more pushing aside of his thoughts.

“How much longer do you estimate?” He called to the driver.

“Another hour or so,” He yelled back.

Another hour until he was thrown into his new life of being a fake man with a false dream.

\- - -

Dear Theodosia,

Writing to you feels idiotic, but I… felt it would be the right thing to do. By Jesus, those words were painful to write. I don’t understand how people say those words aloud when writing them almost just caused me to lose my breakfast.

I’m sorry of my brother’s depart. I’m sure you’ll miss him dearly. And, I tell you with some sort of comfort, I’m sure he will also miss you in the same regard.

I feel very foolish, but… I hope now that my brother is away, that you will continue with your visits. I know you’ve said that he doesn’t affect your decision to waist so much time at our residence, but I can’t help but feel you’re lying. Even if you aren’t, I know your decision is swayed one way or another by my brother’s attendance. And, though you have been awful irritating, I’ve grown accustom to your presence, and if you would like to continue coming, I wouldn’t object.

John would also like to add that he misses you as well. And I hope you know how fond of you my dear mother and aunt are. Even my father doesn’t hate you, which is honestly more than we’d usually expect. So… merely think it over. I understand if you choose not to come by again, we are quite a dull crowd without Philip in out midst. 

I do hope I never have to write you another letter again.

-Angelica Hamilton

\- - - 

My Dearest Angelica,

The fact that you think I would stop visit merely because of your brother’s lack of appearance is foolish. As long as you want me, I will want to be there. I greatly enjoy spending time with my friends- and as I have had to remind you countless times now, you are my friend.

I would also like to send my condolences to your brother’s departure- I’m sure it must be much harder on your family than a friend of his. I’m sure you’re all very proud of him, of course, but I know how it can hurt to have a family member so far from you.

So, I will be over tomorrow to stop in for tea, if it is alright with you and your family.

Yours,

-Theodosia Burr

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been updating often, I'm trying to finish up the first draft of this which leaves little time for editing (and boy the first draft is longer than expected)


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> School school school school hey philip how's school?

_Dearest Philip,_

 

_I hope your transition to college has been a smooth one, though I have no doubt you fit in perfectly amongst the rest of the new businessmen- you do wear a suit with uncanny confidence. I hope your trip was well, and that you have a fine set of peers. I have no doubt Kings College has been living up to your expectations, but I hope it is none the less._

 

_It's only been a day since you left, so I don't have much to say. I just want you to know that I truly treasured this past summer, and will hold the time spent together close to my heart for years to come._

 

_I may have one ulterior motive for contacting you- and I know that I shouldn't feel obligated to tell you of this, but I feel I must. I am well aware that our relationship doesn't breach the boarders of friendship, but I find it only polite to let you know that the man who has been attempting to court me is being ever so persistent. I'm starting to doubt he'll back down, and I honestly fear of it a bit. He's not a bad man, but that being said, he isn't a good man._

 

_So, if I'm forced to accept his proposal soon enough- you know how marriages work nowadays- I wanted you to be warned. Perhaps warned isn't the correct word… I wanted you to know, that's all. Since we are friends._

 

_I wish you the best in your studies and valor._

 

_Yours,_

 

_Theodosia Burr_

 

_\- - -_

 

_My Dearest Theo,_

 

_College is absolutely wonderful. The campus is beautiful, and the men are quick witted. I must admit, classes are not the most interesting, but I'm sure they'll pick up speed as the semester moves on._

 

_I've been thinking of you every moment since I left. I feel there was more I should have said to you. But it's not the proper topic for a letter, so I'll leave that for later._

 

_I'm not surprised that you have a suitor, and surprised you don't have more- any man would be lucky to share the hand of a woman with such beauty and wit as yourself. I do not believe that you should be forced to take his hand, and surely your father will be more understanding than that- if it is your father who would force you. And I must ask, who is this man? Is he a glum old man with a face like leather and a potbelly? And, more importantly, is he better looking than I?_

 

_I wish you the best, and please give my love to my dear sister the next time you meet._

 

_Yours, now and always,_

 

_Philip_

 

_\- - -_

 

_Dearest Philip,_

 

_His name is Joseph Alston. He's only a few years older than us, and starting in politics. He knows my father from Virginia. His face is nothing spectacular, average at most. A generally bland person._

 

_It could be worse. He isn't forcing himself on me, nor is he a stranger with two wandering eyes. I just find him dull for conversation, and dull for looks._

 

_We must change topics, or I'll bore myself to sleep. How are your classes? Is being a lawyer all that you dreamed? Any men over there you can set me up with to take the place of Mr. Alston?_

 

_Yours,_

 

_Theodosia_

 

_\- - -_

 

_Dear Philip,_

 

_How is college? Don't feel a need to answer that question, I won't read the answer anyhow. I only asked because Mother said I should when I told her I was going to write you a letter._

 

_I only have one real issue to address you on, and that is Miss Theodosia Burr. You've turned her into a mess. She is fidgety, and spacey, and her eyes widened like she's a starved person seeing thanksgiving dinner every time your name is mentioned. She's much less interesting to talk to, not that she ever was before, and I completely blame you._

 

_I suggest cutting off ties with her. It would also mean she might finally leave me to some peace and quiet in my garden before the leaves start to fall._

 

_Oh, Mother also told me to add this: We're all doing well, John just started piano lessons, Alex is "excelling" at violin, and last night James snuck a worm in his pocket from outside and put it in William's spaghetti._

 

_Everything is boring without you. All I have to keep me company is Theodosia, and she makes me want to smash my head between two rocks._

 

_Your Sister,_

 

_Angelica Hamilton_

 

_\- - -_

 

_My Dearest Sister,_

 

_College is going lovely. I know you don't care, but classes are interesting, the people are smart, and I feel I'm learning a great lot here. I feel as if I'm walking in Pop's footsteps whenever I roam the campus- hopefully not towards a war, however. You've probably skipped this paragraph by now though, so let's address your real reason of writing._

 

_Firstly, you can speak ill of Miss Burr all you like, it doesn't change the fact that you like her, she's your friend, and you would be a great deal sadder if she wasn't there to keep you company. And secondly, Theodosia is my friend. I am not going to cut her out of my life because you think I have made her more boring._

 

_You're probably reading into it too much, to be honest. And you know how much I love you, Angie, but you can read into things a tad more than necessary._

 

_Tell James I like the worm idea, and I might test it out myself._

 

_Yours,_

 

_Philip Hamilton_

 

_\- - -_

 

_Dear Pops,_

 

_College is going absolutely wonderfully. I love the classes, the teachers, the people, though I've told you of all of this before, I simply thought I should mention it again since I know you would otherwise ask._

 

_I hope you and the rest of the family are doing well. I hear you just got back from Washington last week. I hope it was productive, and you don't have to go back for a good long while._

 

_I have a question for you, which I'm slightly nervous to ask. I was wondering how you courted Mother. She always tells stories of how the two of you hit it off, so I was wondering exactly how you enchanted her so._

 

_I'm sorry for such a short letter, but I need to be heading off to my next class shortly. I hope you respond soon, send my love to the family._

 

_Your Son,_

 

_Philip_

 

_\- - -_

 

_Dear Philip,_

 

_I'm glad you’re enjoying college. That's all I'm going to say on the matter, or otherwise this letter- which I'm hoping to keep short- may suddenly sprout into another 10 page essay._

 

_I credit the biggest reason your mother and I fell in love to how we met. It was the ideal time and place, and we had an ideal first conversation. A nice first impression never hurts. Though, if you don't have this in your favor, it is still possible to court a woman, though it will take more work._

 

_My biggest suggestion is letters. I used to write your mother almost nightly. Adding a flare of romance certainly doesn't hurt your chances. Once it comes time for actual courting, ask her father with a firm belief and confidence, for with that, there is nothing you can't achieve._

 

_I'm not going to pry, but I am quite curious as to who this girl is, as you might imagine. Have you met here around the college, at parties, bars? Does she have the smarts that any wife of yours should possess? And, this one is crucial, is she a democratic republican (if she is, I don't think I'd be able to attend the wedding.)_

 

_A name, would also be nice._

 

_You don't have to answer these questions, just know that I now have a great curiosity to know more._

 

_Your Father,_

 

_Alexander Hamilton_

 

_\- - -_

 

_My Dearest Theo,_

 

_I apologize for the length of time it took me to reply- school's been keeping me awfully busy, though there are so many more letters I wish I could've written to you. I feel a bit guilty that we've gone by almost two months, yet we have, 3 or 4 letters to show of it? Shameful, truly._

 

_However, we won't need letters too long into the future- as I'm coming home for Thanksgiving. I'll only be home four days, but I do hope with all my heart that you can squeeze me into your busy schedule._

 

_I've heard very little of your life in these letters. I do hope you've been keeping busy, and having the challenges produced to you that your mind deserves. I think often of how awful it is Mr. Ericson was forced to stop teaching you, and really do hope we, together, can find a way to keep your studies afloat._

 

_I wish you the best, and gratefully long for seeing you again in just a few short weeks._

 

_Yours, now and always,_

 

_Philip_

 

_\- - -_

 

_Dearest Philip,_

 

_You're in luck. I just so happen to have a break in my appointments on the 26_ _ th _ _at midnight. I do hope you'll be able to find the place, though it's a little out of the way. And I must warn you, Peppermint is eager to see you._

 

_I await your presence with the upmost impatience._

 

_Yours,_

 

_Theodosia Burr_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *awkwardly shuffles in after months of silence* hey who wants a messy letter chapter?


End file.
